Fleeting Moment

Salam Allah 3lykm,

Blogging. I miss hammering the keys furiously when in a state of blind rage. I miss pouring my heart out, not giving a damn about the criticism that is harbored in hearts void of compassion; hearts ridden with malice so venomous, it devours them. To hell with it all; 'not to write' isn't an option; 'not to write' is suicide.

Appreciation bears no cost, yet it is withheld by the iron-fisted. Dreams are drowned by endless tears, and smiles are swallowed up by fear of the unknown. Fear of what atrocities are about to be committed; fear of becoming prey. Prey to the stone-hearted; prey to savages, prey to the whim-driven.

I'd like to run away right now, from everything and everyone; push every single loved one away, before they get hurt by my bitter words.  

It's that fleeting moment in life when I feel like the walls around me are caving in, crushing my ribs, making every other breath impossible. That moment when 'safety' loses all meaning, and you feel exposed to the snarling wolves of this world, waiting to rip you up into pieces. That moment when every loved one's reassurance sounds like hypocrisy laced with mockery - acid on open wounds. That fleeting moment when Eblees maliciously empowers both heart and mind , at the edge of victory -- when ذكر الله shoves The Eternally Damned away. 

 - أَلَا بِذِڪۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَٮِٕنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ -

Inner-peace is just a heartbeat away, amidst the turmoil of a bloody war; all harm is kept at bay by ذكر الله.

و السلام عليكم و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته

A New Dawn

Salam 3lykm,

Yesterday's post was written in bitterness, anger, & pain. Al7mdlla, I'm recuperating from my 'breakdown', or should I say, 'state of utter madness'? I heard an Islamic lecture whilst doing some household chores today, & typically, I'll admit I had a craze for lectures, once upon a time. But now, on very rare occasions would you find me listening to one; not necessarily a good thing, really.

It was on "el 7ilm" - and the story was that about 3thman bin 6al7a, Ra'9yallah 3nh. Anyway, when the scholar said, "Rasulullah صلى الله عليه و سلم was deeply saddened, & wished to spend his last moments in Makkah, his hometown, in the remembrance of His Lord.." that struck a chord. Here, I was lamenting about not 'belonging' anywhere, & being an 'illegal immigrant'; here, I was ranting about the instability that plagues the life of an expat. Yet, I'd clearly forgotten how Rasulullah صلى الله عليه و سلم was driven out of his homeland, by his own people! I'd clearly forgotten about the biggest form of instability that looms over every single living being's life: Death. 

What's the use of a visa, let alone citizenship, when the Angel of Death stands before you, ready to extract your soul? Death is inevitable, & as per 7deeth, a present for believers. Yet, its time is unknown to us. We are given reminders, as the souls of our loved ones depart from this world, one by one, but we rarely pay any heed to the fact that it is a reminder.

Yes, this house holds a lot of memories, but so does this world, doesn't it? One day, these memories won't really matter anymore. Yes, it has been over a year since I got married, but would I have learned what I learned, had we been living together from the very first night? Maybe I had to endure this stress for a good reason. Maybe someday, I'll come across someone going through the same predicament, someone who feels like this world is slowly closing up on her, & as vast as it may be, there's no room for her in it, besides 6ft under. Maybe then I'll be able to tell her, it'll all pass..& when it does, she'll realize it was truly worth it.

It is true what Rasulullah صلى الله عليه و سلم said about us women; we truly are ناقصات العقل و الدين We panic at the slightest turbulence in our lives, forgetting the reward for those who wait patiently for it to pass. At this instance, only one thing comes to mind: الحمد لله على نعمة الإسلام و كفى بها من نعمة

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمۡنَآ أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمۡ تَغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَتَرۡحَمۡنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرِينَ

A Lifetime Mission

Salam 3lykm

A poem I wrote...describing what I would want my lifetime mission to be, in a nutshell. تقبل الله منا و منكم صالح الأعمال

I'll retrace deeply carved wounds
Piercing carefully through the scabs
Heart staining my fingers with blood
I'll retrieve the bitter memories I have

I'll do it all to see you smile again
I'll do it all so you don't cry alone
I'll do it all so I can share your pain
Don't pretend to have a heart of stone

Your silent tears I've not yet seen
Their escape betrayed by your words
Your happiness now lies demeaned
Lovers' delirium, you deem absurd

I'll penetrate deeper into my soul
Sharing dark secrets of past shame
I'll do it all with ONE irresistible goal
Inscribing on your bleeding heart..
Allah's Name.

Remember: Allah tests us with Blessings, and Blesses us with Tests.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Burning Desire

Salam 3lykm

I'm back with another poem; this time, you need to be a little more analytical to understand the full meaning behind it. Inclining towards premarital relationships, I decided to 'summarize' what they're all about. Some may agree; some may disagree; and some may agree to disagree - whatever you choose, it would always be nice to see a comment or two. :P

Passion looms thickly in the air
Silence betraying their heartbeats
Her fingers raking through his hair
Fragrances intoxicatingly sweet

Lips dancing together; synchronized
Tongues play-fighting in humidity
A heated embrace having long-denied
Fiery passion, masked by stupidity

Supple skin glistens under the moonlight
Her perfect curves seductively outlined
Resisting carnal desires with all his might
Ravishing her, having clouded his mind

Suddenly wary of the unwelcomed distraction
She gently pulls herself away
'Magnetism' fails to describe their sinful attraction
Deathly orbs now lustfully ablaze

Watching in anger as she slowly shakes her head
Silent tears acknowledge the ugliness of of his soul
His words, like the sand thrown upon the dead
Glowing embers, marking the birth of a 'Black Hole'

I won't add the analysis to this, as it will inhibit your perceptions. It would be great to read different analyses, so if you want..you may try to analyze this. ;D But I know you won't.:P

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

The Uncanny Savior - Suicide

Salam 3lykm

Sharing an essay I wrote as an assignment during my last semester. It was supposed to be a distressing experience, and I thought..hmm..an incident from life, shall we? Life when I took a trip to what I like to call, "The Dark Side". It did happen this way. Fortunately or unfortunately. My first suicide attempt. Nothing outta the ordinary. Shay6an takes control when you stray away from Allah.

The Uncanny Savior: Suicide

I stared ahead at the wall in front of me as I tightly pinched the bridge of my nose. Tears welled up in my eyes, as an excruciating pain surged through my heart. No one understood the turmoil I was going through. No one knew that, had I shunned this despicable life I now lived, I was going to turn back into the friendless loner I had always been. I had filled that gaping hole in my life with books; nothing could ever replace books, because reading is what had kept me from plummeting into the outstretched claws of insanity for so long. However, it was also what had led to my becoming a social misfit.

No one was witness to how I would sob my heart out until I had no more tears left to cry. Murderous thoughts began to play on my mind as I tried to push away the heartless taunting and mockery I had been throughout my years at school. I had always been the ‘extremist’; having been brought up in a strictly religious family, I had not known what celebrities were, and had no exposure whatsoever to music or movies until grade 7 or 8. Thus, I had been made fun of and shunned as a ‘religious freak’, and had been left to the mercy of the endless rows of books in our school’s library.

As the taunting got worse, I started becoming more rebellious to hide the pain. I was still a misfit, but instead of a ‘religious freak’, I turned into an outcast. I was daring, and it was not long before the tables were turned on those who would bully me. I got into a few physical fights, but save for a few cuts and bruises, came out unharmed. I was still talked about behind my back, but at least no one had the guts to come up to me and mock me. I had now donned a mask, thus becoming ‘the hypocritical freak’.

I might have been all toughened up on the outside, but I hated myself. The worst part was committing sins despite knowing clearly the punishments I would receive for them. As the self-hatred grew, I eventually went into isolation. I gradually stopped eating; everything tasted so bitter, that even the mere thought of food was nauseating. Sleep had long-deserted me, to be ‘victimized’ by the All-Vengeful: insomnia. I would keep my lips sealed, fearing that I would not be able to stop the endless flow of tears that would accompany my barely-coherent speech.

Signs of fatigue and negligence were becoming increasingly visible on my face. The telltale dark circles that had formed over sleepless nights under my glazed eyes, added to the eyesore I had become for those around me. Every day, my parents would up with a new color to describe my pallid complexion, “Yellow!”, “Purple!”, “Gray!”, while I sarcastically marveled at their ‘newly-found creativity’.

I deliberately began pushing away everyone around me; they had done nothing but added to the pain I had suffered in life, with what seemed like endless criticism then, but what I actually recognize now as genuine concern. Instead, I had spiraled down a deep vortex of depression and had surrendered to it, allowing it to slowly suck the life out of me. The sun rose and set; nights crept up over days, and days surrendered to nights, yet mine were enveloped by pitch-black darkness. It was though I lived on, only because my breathing had not yet ceased. I had become totally anti-social, repelling even the kindest person in my world: my mother. Her ‘endless nagging’ pushed me to extremes, even though it stemmed from the deep, agonizing concern of watching her daughter waste away.

My weight plummeted, as did my mental well-being. Breakdowns were nothing out of the ordinary, as I felt my shoulders being crushed under the world’s weight. As loneliness threatened to devour my insides, it was not long before I felt worthless, and –alarmingly – responsible for having driven everyone away. Consequently, my health deteriorated; my vital signs had reached a critical state. That pleased me immensely; it would only be a matter of time until I would be laid six feet under to rest. I’d not have to hear their criticism or mockery ever again. Eventually, Satanic Whispers formed shocking thoughts in my mind, and that is when I first attempted the unthinkable: Suicide.

I lifted my trembling hand to my mouth, as I tossed one pill in after another. I heard my parents’ angry voices ringing in my ears all along, “Take your medicines! You NEVER listen to what you’re told!” They wanted me to take my medicines? I would. I’d take them ALL. However, having failed to take over six pills, I secured the bottle’s lid back on in defeat. Yet, the Damned Devil was not satisfied with his efforts. Something glinted in my eye as I turned around to leave the bathroom. A blade. I reached out for it without any hesitance. It was slightly rusted, but very cool – almost soothing – to touch. How long would it take for the blood to drain out if I slit my wrists? As I positioned it on my wrist whilst steadying my hand, the metal was cold against my skin, opposed to the seemingly fiery blood that pulsated with a life of its own within. I could feel my heart beating almost violently in its confinement, as if wanting to be ‘set free’.

“Let’s go, we’re getting late for Salah!” The blade slipped between my fingers, leaving telltale signs of its presence on my arm, as it clambered on the floor. My brother’s annoyed voice resounded in my head, especially his last-spoken word. Salah. What was I doing? Why had I almost surrendered to The Damned? For what price was I selling my life to the DEVIL?!

Realization hit home hard; for a few ‘cheap thrills’, I had nearly lost my chance of entering Gardens of indescribable beauty. For merely a few years, I had done what I wanted to do, following a lifestyle contradictory to Islamic beliefs. I had listened to music; befriended the ‘cool and popular’; been rebellious to my elders; I had done it all. However, I had gained literally NOTHING out of it, except severe depression and instability. I had nearly destroyed my Hereafter for the sake of this transitory world of baseless desires and temptations. It was time to answer ‘The Call’; it was the time to turn back towards Allah.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

'Played Out'

Salam 3lykm

Been through some rough days, as you can probably tell from my previous post, but after a long, tear-wrenching talk with my bro, *Fdaiteh walla..Rabbi y7f'6h..the glue of the family, and who primarily helps in keeping us all sane!* he made me realize that I can control my own happiness, by controlling my mind..and the crazy thoughts that usually rule it. So, maybe that will help for the time-being. Anyway, after all that drama at home ceased for a bit, I got thinking...

If you've ever broken someone's heart, realize that someday..someone will eventually break yours. What goes around, certainly DOES come around. If it was in the past, and you've gotten your act all 'cleaned' up, it's no excuse to not sincerely apologize for the heartache you caused someone else. I'm not saying, go hook up and act like a punk all over again; what I'm saying is..showing the person you're genuinely sorry for the pain they endured could allow them to live their life again.

You might think I'm BSing right now; people eventually move on in life, right? Why would anyone lose precious time moping around over someone who broke their heart? If you've ever been heartbroken, you'd know that 'til your doubts are cleared, you keep wondering 'what if'. Especially..at times when you feel low. I guess it's a way for Shay6an to break you even further, provided you've repented sincerely for all you've done; all these random thoughts of how people hurt you in different ways tend to come up, sometimes..leaving you feeling absolutely worthless.

OR..scenario #2 is that person goes on their own 'heartbreaking spree' intentionally or unintentionally, just to get the pain out of their system. I don't know HOW that works, but I KNOW for a fact that it's unfortunately true..and that 'What goes around comes around' isn't just a pretty little line that people use to sound all philosophical. It's the bitter truth.

I know it because..well, I've been there. I know what it's like to allow thoughts of different ways to commit suicide to empower your mind for a while. Al7mdlla, I'm still alive. When the ride gets tough, a very special person keeps telling me, "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger"...and I used to think it was BS before, but now I know it's as close to the truth as one can possibly get.

I also know what it's like to be a heartbreaker; you revel in your 'moment of glory' for a short period, then it all goes downhill from there. Not only that, but it's like a chain reaction..an ugly one. Don't be the one to continue it, let alone set it off.

Don't be the reason for a person to endure pain; you're a MUSLIM..and Muslims can't be 'Playaz'. It's not 'cool', dear brothers and sisters..to toy around with the emotions of someone else, just so you can satisfy your desires. Don't carry the burden of being the reason for someone to contemplate 7aram, because if someone ends their life in despair over you, it's nothing to be proud about. You know you'll face punishment either in this world, the Hereafter, or maybe even both.

Don't be brainwashed by the whole 'playa' image; I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone played your family member(s) around, and messed them up. Remember, treat others the way you'd want to be treated. Saying you're a Muslim, then acting contrary to the teachings of Islam makes you a HYPOCRITE. You know what the Qur'an says abt em, right?

إِنَّ ٱلۡمُنَـٰفِقِينَ فِى ٱلدَّرۡكِ ٱلۡأَسۡفَلِ مِنَ ٱلنَّارِ وَلَن تَجِدَ لَهُمۡ نَصِيرًا

Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depths of the Fire: no helper will you find for them.

I'm sure you wouldn't want to be there.

It is up to us to protect our family members from heart-breakers. If you truly are proud to be a Muslim, don't hurt your brother or sister in Islam at the expense of fulfilling your desires. That's selfish, disgusting, and it certainly doesn't depict the true picture of Islam.

It is up to the Muslim youth to paint the TRUE picture of Islam; we need to destroy the fear-instilling image of 'terrorists' that the media has successfully fed to people's minds. If we're going to go around representin' 'Playaz', we're not going to get ANYWHERE. Now, are you in for some GOOD change, or would you rather play manipulating mind games with someone, just to get some 'action'?

Feel free to spread this post..I'm not too sure if it'll be of any use spreadin' the rest! Might end up making someone suicidal if you share the previous ones!x'D

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Broken Promises

Salam 3lykm

I wrote this poem today morning, while thinking about my life and my past. I don't claim I'm any angel, and may Allah Forgive me for all that I have done and said to others. Everyday I go through incidents that reinforce the fact that there is no one worthy of Worship other than Allah, and that Muhammad 9alallahu 3lyhi w Sallem is His Messenger.

Mind you, I wrote it when I woke up, so it's not that great xD very simple, yet it's exactly what was going through my mind as I sat with my Mom and Grannie...lost in thought..

Broken Promises

How many empty promises are broken each day, in the name of 'love'? How many names become history within the blink of an eye? We claim to love Allah, yet Him we do disobey, and when our so-called 'love' hurts, towards Him we look for support and cry.

Does He push us away like we did, or does He close the door to His Mercy on our faces? Despite having turned a deaf ear to what He's Commanded, His Provisions are more than enough to maintain our social status.

Do we then bow down before Him in Eternal Gratitude? Do we then pay heed to what He has said? Unfortunately...if we were judged according to our attitudes, to HELL our current lifestyles would have led.

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمۡنَآ أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمۡ تَغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَتَرۡحَمۡنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرِينَ

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

The Quest

Salam 3lykm

Sh7alkm? Drove to Madinah day before yesterday Al7mdlla, and currently staying at the couple's house I wrote about earlier. Sb7analla..a woman's touch is truly what turns a 'house' into a 'home'. A lot of work is needed, and Inshalla - with your prayers - we'll be able to do as much as we can while we're here.

My 'poetry block' came to an end day before yesterday as well, lol. After coming back from Al 7aram in the morning, I sat down and completed an unfinished poem I started writing months ago.

Since I've finished my studies wl7mdlla, the next obvious chapter that's about to begin is 'marriage'. So, amidst all the talks...I wrote a poem to 'mark' the 'beginning', lol.

It may sound far-fetched, but these are truly the main qualities I look for in a life partner. I'm not concerned with his educational background, nor the figures of his bank account; Allah er-Razig - the amount a person is supposed to get has already been decided when life is breathed into him or her as a fetus.

Sb7analla, I received 5 job offers which were all at administrative positions..but because I don't ever intend to work UNLESS absolutely necessary..they were of no use to me. Yet, there SO many graduates out there, still hunting tirelessly for a job; What good have their degrees brought them? Sb7analla, I know of a person who didn't study beyond GRADE 3; today, that guy drives around in a LEXUS and deals with the Shyoo5. Mashalla, Allah has blessed him with so much that he wouldn't have to think twice before walking into a car showroom and rolling out two brand-new, luxurious rides, FULLY paid for, in CASH.‏إن الله‏ ‏يرزق‏ ‏من‏ ‏يشاء‏ ‏بغير‏ ‏حساب

Neither am I interested in whether he's tall, short, fat, scrawny, etc...but if he doesn't keep a fist-length beard, then he's come knocking at the wrong door.It may sound extreme to some, and others say, 'what's in a beard? Taqwa has nothing to do with what the guy looks like!'

If he is 'too embarrassed' to adopt the style of Rasulullah صلى‏ ‏الله‏ ‏عليه‏ ‏و‏ ‏سلم‏ ‏, then I'm 'too embarrassed' to walk by his side. I've not known any other 'styles' for MEN; al7mdlla, my brothers and father have always let their beards grow long, and my brothers perfect the look by letting their hair grow long, too.

Even when these senseless illustrationists attempt to draw Muslims, they always draw a beard; why then are the brothers SHUNNING their IDENTITY? Have you ever seen a Sikh without a turban, sporting a clean-shaved face and a crewcut..or even a mohawk? Why on earth do Muslim brothers copy such retarded fads, when even Mushrikeen wouldn't?

Anyway, I could carry on FOREVER on such controversial topics, but THIS post is supposed to be about my poem! Here's to praying that my future husband is someone who will truly help me 9;complete' my Iman and Deen, Inshalla..may Allah Bless all the unmarried Readers with Righteous spouses, who will be a source of Eternal Bliss for them in the A5irah; Ameen!

The Quest

I seek not a temporary love that will gradually fade away; I seek that which will bring contentment to my heart and soul, and strengthen day after day.

I seek not superfluous words that toy with the mind and heart; I seek the simple ones of those who will continue making a difference long after he departs.

I seek not the company of one who prefers to pray the 5 prayers in the comfort of his home; I seek the company of he who would rather search the city for someone to pray with, than standing in prayer on his own.

I seek not someone who has been blinded by the wealth that he has been endowed with; I seek the one who spends openly in the way of Allah, leaving Angels in doubt of how much he gives.

I seek not the coward who will take refuge in his home, when war has been declared; I seek the Lion of Allah from whom not one disbelieving life will be spared.

I seek not one whose frown is more renowned than his smile; I seek he whose alluring presence is felt from well over a mile.

I seek not a companion to share the temporary joys of this transit world; I seek a soulmate with whom I will enjoy in Everlasting Gardens of descriptions foretold.

If what I seek is an impossible quest, far from reality; I will persevere tirelessly to fulfill this so-called 'fantasy'.

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

كيف تتلذذ بالصلاه؟

Salam 3lykm

This is an AMAZING program I came across yesterday; you need to give it your 100% in order to understand the depth of what he is saying though. Unfortunately, for those readers who do not understand Arabic..there are no English subtitles. However, I'll be willing to translate it if anyone wants me to; it is all about prayers and how to enjoy the 'sweetness' of such an esteemed form of worship.

We have been praying ever since childhood, yet how many of us really get lost while we stand before Allah? How many of us pray just because its obligatory; a mere series of actions and words? How many of us get so engrossed in our prayers that we become totally oblivious to the world around us?

Learn how to taste and enjoy the sweetness of your prayers, بفضل الله :



And to all the people who came up with the idea of such a program - especially the presenter - but most important of all, the person who has uploaded all these episodes:

جزاهم الله كل خير في الدنيا و الآخره

May Allah accept their efforts, and make this [a source of] صدقة جارية for them after they pass on; Ameen.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Muhammad Ibn Abdullah صلى الله عليه و سلم

Salam 3lykm

I was going through my essays written last semester, and I found one which I wanted to share, especially with all the non-Muslims out there. The media has created a major misconception in the minds of everyone, especially those who know very little about Islam. They have painted Islam as a blood-thirsty, merciless religion, and Muslims as aggressive, violent barbarians. It is for that very reason that I would like to share this essay, to dispel all misconceptions that the media has succeeded to instill in people's hearts and minds.

The original question had three or four topics, one of which was to write about a great act of devotion. It was written in class, 'under pressure', and I'm not the kind to write 'on demand', lol..so please excuse and forgive my shortcomings. =$

Nations worldwide have sung songs of praise in their native languages, all of which still fail to do justice to this noble Prophet, sent for the guidance of all Mankind. Countless people have written poems, but their pens have failed to elaborate on the greatness of this humble Servant of Allah. Muhammad Ibn Abdullah - not a single page would be left free of his attributes, yet they would remain undefined. A man of such magnificent character, that his wife, Aisha - May Allah be pleased with her - is reported to have said: "His morals are the Holy Quran."

Orphaned at birth, and a mere shepherd in his youth, Muhammad - May the Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon him - had no share in the wealth of his family, despite the fact that the tribe he belonged to, was one of the wealthiest and most influential Arabian tribes at the time. It was only after marrying a woman of great status in society, and reviving her dwindling business, did wealth come in his hands. Khadeejah Bint Khuwaylid - May Allah be pleased with her - was the only woman who bore him children, and she was the only one who supported him when he was in dire need.

As the burden of Prophethood was laid down on his withstanding shoulders, those that had once sung sweet praises in his face, began to leave his side. One by one, they all turned against him, in hope that he would stop propagating his True Cause. However, even that left him undeterred. His devotion to his Lord was to the extent that he was content with what had been decreed for him. He did not turn back to Pagan idol worship, in spite of the endless, hurtful mockery he was dealt at their hands; instead, he restlessly propagated the True Word worldwide, sending delegations to places that were far away from where he resided.

He fought against only those infidels who threatened to eradicate Muslims from the world; however, it is still unfairly said that, 'Islam was spread by the Sword'...

What sword was it that earned the great devotion of brave warriors like Umar Bin Al-Khattab and Khalid Bin Al-Waleed - may Allah be pleased with them? Both once staunch enemies of Islam, they craved to shed EVERY SINGLE DROP of blood in the cause of Allah upon embracing Islam, solely to raise the Banner of the Testimony of Faith high in the skies.

What sword was it that forced the likes of Bilal - May Allah be pleased with him - to endure the cruel torture at the hands of the infidels? What sword lured boys at the tender ages of thirteen years and younger - the likes of Abdullah Ibn Abbas & Ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with them both) and Imam Bukhari & Muslim (may Allah have Mercy on them) - to become great scholars in Islam? Which sword was it that compelled boys at ages as young as fifteen and sixteen, to kill the greatest enemy of Islam, and the cruel uncle of the Beloved, Muhammad - may the Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon him: Abu Jahl?

It might have been a sword, but definitely not the one that you and I commonly know of. It was the double-edged sword; it was the Words of Truth that flowed eloquently from the Blessed tongue of Muhammad Ibn Abdullah - May the Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon him - which moved hearts of stone, and sprung forth tears from once-dry eyes.

It was his utmost devotion and love for his Lord, the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth...it was acts of courage, the likes of which were displayed when his own people drove him out of Taif, heels bloodied and body wounded by the heartless, malicious people whose fate had been sealed...it was his alluring character that set an example for all those to come until the Last Day. Such devotion he had, that he refused to curse the people, in hope that a few may pay heed to the Words of Truth.

It is this intense sense of devotion to his cause that had him repeating, "My Nation, My Nation!", even as he endured the hardship of the throes of death. Can there ever be any other acts of devotion or courage greater than those exhibited during the lifetime of this Noble Man of Quraysh?

Shoved...Into Life's 'Fast Lane'! *Update*

Salam 3lykm

First off, a shout-out to my 'Loyal Readers' - whether you still read this or not - without you, this place wouldn't exist. (I would've probably stopped blogging a month or two after I started, lol.) This also includes the 'silent readers' - you know who you are! (I WOULD like to know who you are, but then again...thank you for stickin' around!=D)

I didn't realize it, but this blog is officially 3 years old..April 7th, 2007 - 16th May, 2010. I didn't think I'd keep blogging, really. I didn't know that one fine day, I'd have written over 50 poems. Through this blog, I met many different people, and learned countless lessons in life...some of which were really 'bitter', but قدر الله ما شاء فعل ...I don't regret any of them, and as I always say..if I had the chance to go back and change anything in my life..I wouldn't change a single thing.

Wow..time flies...in 10 days, by this time...I'll be walking outta university for the last time...and that feels REALLY weird. It's not like I won't have anything to do..bl 3x, I have SO MANY plans...I'm worried I won't be able to do most of them, in case..well...I get married. *My lips are sealed 'til it happens, so no questions on this one. ;)*

And...in exactly 2 months..I'll be flying back from Lahore, Inshalla...after my FINALS. This time, I'm not really freaked out or depressed about going; I guess it's because we'll be staying with family, Inshalla..memorable experience, walla. Here's hopin' their wild neighbors don't have any of their deafening parties this time!>.< style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"> fast lane! Oh..judging from the poll's votes on the whole 'blog makeover', standby for a 'new look'...should be changed by August, but like I said...I've been pushed into life's fast lane...which means a LOT to do, but in very LITTLE time!

A sister was reminding me that this year is my 'golden year'. Whatever that means, lol..apparently, since I'm turning 22, and my birthday is on the 22nd..it's my 'golden' year. :P It's only going to be golden if I'm spending it with my significant other. *shrugs* ;P

Aiight, so much for an 'update', eh?xD I better get back to studying; aiming for a 'perfect' GPA of 4...to successfully end this chapter of life...and hopefully begin a new one. <3

Take care, and remember me in your prayers..

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

A 'Graduate' :')

Salam 3lykm

I was going through ups and downs in life, and I'm still going through them...but I would like to share with you news of great value to me: 12th April, 2010 was a day of great significance to me; countless tears were shed, and countless 'reminiscent' laughs were shared, in the company of Banaat 3zeez ur R7maan...on the occasion of my 'graduation'. However, even though I have successfully completed the four-year long Sharee3a course, I stress on the fact that, 'there is yet much knowledge to be acquired', and thus I will continue to bear the label of 6alibat el 3elm until Youm al Qiyamah. I cannot bear the weight of the label '3alimah', and would like to request all to refrain from calling me that, as I do not deem myself worthy of such a responsibility.

This graduation IS, of course...MUCH more significant than my second, upcoming graduation; on May 26th Inshalla, I will be a jailbird at ADU no more. ;) I have no plans to attend my graduation however, as attainment of that degree was solely for the sake of pleasing my Dad..no more, no less. Bi Fa'9lillaah...my objective has been achieved, w lillaah el7md.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

The Legal Bond - Part 2 ;)

Salam 3lykm

Remember 'The Legal Bond'? You don't? (Shame on you!=.=)
Lemme refresh your memory then (A) :P

The Legal Bond

Pools of honey,
Framed by upturned drapes of silk;
Hills small and rosy,
Surrounded by a frozen body of milk.

Rosy riverbanks,
Protecting long-hardened snow
Beauty for which a man thanks,
He who did Bestow...

Emeralds that sparkle,
Rain-kissed locks that flow;
Fiery cheekbones that startle,
Milky complexion aglow.

Well-defined jaw-line,
Beautified by a lush beard;
Pearls of perspiration a-shine,
Full lips...so clear.

...As the ink stains paper,
A contract's being signed;
Solid evidence for later,
Hearts & Souls legally intertwined.

I know...*siiigh* :P We'll all get our 'legal bonds' writ in due time, Inshalla!\o/ xD

Well, one of my first assignments was to write a descriptive essay, and knowing how I'm so preoccupied with one thought, I decided to take up the challenge of writing it out of my own poem. Wasn't really a challenge; more like a heart-tugging ordeal!:P Needless to say, this essay got an A. (A) ;D I didn't change the title, of course..I dedicate this to Miss 'Zaini' ;D love ya babe!<3>

Freshly-cut grass glistened under the moonlight, a tell-tale sign it had rained yet once again. No one could have guessed that it was only a few hours ago, that two strangers had vowed to share their lives with each other. Burn-out marks adorned the driveway, where the groom’s brother decided to add some more noise that would temporarily ring in the ears of startled guests, long after the newlyweds had been driven off to the airport, to commence their long-awaited honeymoon.

Little did the newlyweds know that April showers might threaten to ruin the celebration of a lifetime. It was for that reason that everyone had to be ushered into the house once again, tickled with happiness at the joyous event. Young girls twittered gleefully in their matching frocks and boys complained about being suited up in tuxedos, as their mothers looked on over them anxiously, assuring they stayed clean. Young men and women followed in suit, keeping their gazes floored, not only to avoid any awkwardness during accidental eye-contact with each other, but also to avoid the piercing glares of their elders who watched over them like hawks.

Once indoors, quietening the excited guests down proved to be quite a challenge. Impatient with anticipation, some of them also tried to get to the room where the official ceremony was about to take place. However, adhering strictly to their religion, the two families had decided that the bride would only be shown to the female guests, thus abandoning the tradition of seating the newlyweds on a decorated stage. Suddenly aware of the sound system’s final adjustments, their chaotic demeanor was gradually transformed. As the scholar began speaking into the microphone, their murmurs died down, and pin-drop silence prevailed.

The scene was picture-perfect: never had there been such a beautiful couple before. The match looked like it had definitely been made in heaven. Pools of honey, framed by long, silken eyelashes, threatened to betray the bride’s nervousness, as she hung her head down low shyly. Her cheeks were flushed by the sudden, short burst of activity that had taken place, all thanks to the usually-welcomed April showers. As the scholar asked her husband whether he would take her as his life partner, she raised her head slightly, biting nervously on her trembling, rosy lips.

As he took the pen in his hands, she could not help noticing the agile, yet graceful strokes with which he solemnized his vows. His grip was steady, but she could see the pearls of perspiration that shone above his lips. As she watched on, he nervously ran his fingers through his lush beard, which embellished his well-defined jaw-line. His fierce cheekbones went ablaze, creating a startling contrast against his glowing, milky complexion. She stifled a smile that played upon her lips, displaying a perfect array of pearly-whites. Putting the pen down, he slowly lifted his head up to meet her gaze.

She gasped as the pair of intense emeralds looked back at her. Framed by rain-kissed locks of ebony, his illuminated face forced her gaze back down, as a blush crept up her cheeks. As the certificate was passed onto her after she had verbally agreed to the holy matrimony, she tried to secure her grip on the pen, hands trembling like a leaf. A tear escaped her eye, rolling down like a magnificent pearl, its rebellion being met with a hastened demise. She blinked away many tears that followed in suit, only to meet a dire consequence for straying away.

As the ink stained paper, it took her husband a lot of self-restraint to avoid getting up, and taking her into his arms. Dew glistened on roses so crimson, that even blood would shy away in comparison. It was only as the pen made its last mark that she realized, the deed lying in front of her – beautified by their contrasting signatures – was solid evidence for later, that their hearts and souls had legally intertwined.

New Category: Lectures

Salam 3lykm,

Hope all of you are in the best of health and spirits, Inshalla =) Adding a new category to this blog - under which will come Islamic lectures - I hope they will be of benefit to all, including myself. For starters, I will be translating my Shay5's Urdu lectures into English, then Inshalla I might add lectures of other Islamic scholars - regardless of which language they were originally given in - later on.

I will focus on this more than poetry right now, as it is crucial that knowledge is gained and preserved from our 3ulamaa2, before the prophesied time comes when the inheritance of Anbiyaa2 remains no more. In doing so, I hope it becomes a form of expiation for my countless sins, and request you all to pray that Allah Forgives me for the slightest bit of Kibr that enters my heart as I make a small contribution to the great work of Da3wah our brothers and sisters continue to do until today.

Jazakm Allah 5ayr,

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

21. *Revised*

*Anger comes from shay6an, and he who flattens someone out of anger is not the strongest. The strongest is he who can control his anger. This is proof that Shay6an attacks at night with his Wasawes (Whispers), knowing it is the time that we are most likely to fall in his trap. Al7mdulilllah, two hours later...just around Fajr, I decided to edit this post..and I feel MUCH better =)*

Salam 3lykm

I'm 'legal', so they say. I don't feel any different. Don't look different. I'm as I was yesterday, when I was 20 years old. I'm as I was last year...or am I? No...I was a nervous wreck then; I am now, but it's only due to temporary stress. Not because I feel psychotic. Do I? I do. الحمد لله على كل حال =)

I hate formalities, and I hate birthdays. I hate them because people couldn't give a damn if you died the next day, yet they'll wish you a 'happy birthday' anyway. Do I care it's my birthday? Frankly? No. I couldn't care less. لا طاعة المخلوق في معصية الخالق

I feel miserable. Tears well up in my eyes, and by the time I hit '.' they would have streaked down adding to the portrait painted by 'ugliness' فتبارك الله أحسن الخالقين on my face.

I hate me. من شبه بقوم فهو منهم Thoroughly. لا إله إلا أنت سبحانك إني كنت من الظالمين

I don't need your pity. Sympathy. Comfort. Or consolation. ألا بذكر الله تطمئن القلوب I know I came alone in this world and I will die alone. A new year. A new start. I don't think this blog will be here same time next year. I'm taking my poetry, and I might exit this world for good. لم تقولون ما لا تفعلون

My time is coming to an end. كل نفس ذائقة الموت

Another blogger's entrance depends on my 'departure'. If you think I'm being over-dramatic:

..."ناقصات العقل و الدين"...
F*** you. لا حول و لا قوة إلا بالله العلي العظيم
I'll give you the chance to grin widely when I leave. أضحك الله سنك
My new year's gift to you. من شبه بقوم فهو منهم

ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا و إن لم تغفرلنا و ترحمنا لنكونن من الخاسرين

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh