Love Is Life

Salaaam Allah 3lykm,

I'm excited to write this post, I've been looking forward to it since the second I hit 'save' on my phone. Yes, I'm finally back with another poem to add to the collection of poems I've already written! As always, I thought I didn't have it in me..but one person never lost faith in me. He's the very person who persistently pushed me to go back to blogging/writing, telling me to pick back where I left off.

As I write this, we've both turned a year older..and this is the sixth birthday I've had the pleasure of, to share with this wonderful man. I never gave a second thought to birthdays before, but ever since he came into my life, it's all changed. How could it not? WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY! 

Anyway, enough with the rambling - I leave you with my latest...and not my last, 'Love Is Life'. (Excuse the cliche of a title, but it really fit!)

My love for you continues to grow
You've made my life worthwhile
You take me high when I'm low
Tame me when I go wild

Immense is the happiness you bring
It's something you may not realize
When anger and pain is all I feel within
And with dejection, my heart writhes

Your absence, darker than the darkest nights
Leaves my world covered in frost
A traveler without any guiding light
With treacherous paths to cross

You're the sun to my weary soul
Breathing life into the mundane
To my destitute self, its dole
An asylum to my insane

I promise to love you forever
Through life's ups-and-downs
Effortlessly it may be, or an endeavor
To yours, my heart is eternally bound

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY, BU3AWAS (As much as you argue against it, you're always going to be a year older, buddy. And a year wiser, but don't make me regret this!;p)

Tamed

Salam 3lykm,

Here's something I wrote after Fajr; ironically, I was thinking I'd take a break from writing for a while. Oh well..I leave you with, 'Tamed'.

Every tear that meets its untimely demise on my lips, burns with the agony of being kept away from you. Every heartbeat is a reflection of the yearning that's thawed a heart once steel-cold. Fingertips gently trace the path once taken by your lips, reviving vivid flashbacks of passionate, timeless encounters..

Once-soulful eyes now ablaze with lust, as they take in the shapely form that lies before them. Hair tousled, limbs intertwined, short breaths quickening their pace in a symphony only lovers could comprehend..

Fulfillment. Heart, body, and soul satiated, left 'tamed' after having tread a path of tasteful wildness, contained behind cautiously closed doors. 

Perfection

Salam 3lykm,

Here's something I wrote last night.. Evidently, I need a new way to begin my posts! I think it's now become pretty apparent that I tend to write at night, when everyone's asleep. The question is, does that mean I'll be off blogging after I move in with Bu3awas? Only time will tell. I leave you with, 'Perfection'..

The thought of losing him, has tears streaming down my face before I even realize the thought's resurfaced once again. I can't bear it for a fraction of a second, let alone a second. Yes, we were total strangers, fated to sign off our lives to each other, but I suppose somewhere after the whole process..I happened to fall head-over-heels in love. 

I became who I am, for him..I would lose myself completely, and wouldn't give a damn about being found. It's true..there are no means to measure how much love your heart contains for someone but get this: my heart fails to contain it..hiding it is absolutely impossible! With all his quirky flaws, he's just..the only one for me. 

 Without them, he'd be perfect..and hell, 'perfect' would be too good to be true. Perfection is not something I'd ever want to pursue; perfection's merely an illusion, created by those looking for the ultimate escape. Why would I ever want to find an escape..from Heaven?

Despite all the regret, pain, tears, frustration, and fears..I would NEVER want, NOR love another. 

Change

Salam 3lykm,

Ugh, down with what seems like the flu. Couldn't breathe properly last night, because my nose was blocked, & I can't sleep unless the covers are pulled up over my head..so I ended up writing again. You can tell my thoughts were all scrambled up, but guess what? Not only did I manage to fall asleep til 530AM, but I also found the piece quite therapeutic. Feeling very light-headed as I type, so let's get on with it, shall we?

As I stand before the mirror, I fail to recognize the girl staring back at me. People said I would change, but I vehemently denied it. Why would I let a total stranger change me?!

My husband changed me. Everyday, I let go of yet another piece of me, in exchange for his happiness. I'm not 'selfless' at all; in fact, I do it for myself, really. His happiness brightens up my life, and sculpts my Hereafter. Totally selfish. 

It can become quite a struggle, and I'll admit..I'm scared. Hell, I'm terrified of starting a new life together. I'm known to give in to denial, turn around, and shut the world out. I'm known to resort to the solace I find in isolation. But my worst fear is giving up. 

It's beautiful now, al7mdlla..absolutely befuddled by marriage at this stage. But..isn't everyone? It's just the beginning. Will I be able to make the same claim, a few years down the line? This is what terrifies me.

..Then again, my Creator knows what is best for me, and it's comforting to realize my marriage is a big leap of faith. It leaves me knowing my Sustainer won't leave me stranded..

Arranged or not, my marriage is meant to be. 

A Fateful Beginning

Salam 3lykm,

Yes, back with another one already. My mom always tells me off, because I tend to go in extremes; either I'm going to do something, or I'm just NOT going to do it.x'$ So now, I'm back in the 'blogging' phase again. Just a little something I wrote last night, reminiscing as I waited for his royal highness' attention.x$ I leave you with, "A Fateful Beginning".

Total strangers, yet they are now 'husband & wife'. Shyness looms, yet an empowering sense of curiosity forces their gazes to meet. And lock. If only for a few seconds..

Signed off their lives to one another. Willingly. With personalities yet to discover, they are now bound to each other, in poverty and wealth, illness and health..

'Forever Yours'

Forever & For Always

Salam 3lykm,

Sb7analla, just when you think you've hit rock-bottom, Allah turns everything around once again. Truly, one needs to fall time and time again, to thoroughly enjoy the thrill of every rise. Had I known the blissful end my week held, I wouldn't have been able to believe it at all. So incredibly surreal..! I leave you with something I started at Fajr today, but only finished it a lot later in the afternoon, because of a heart-stoppin' distraction.♥

I was wrong. SO very wrong. Blissful beyond belief. That's what my world turns into, when you step into it. You're better than any mood-enhancing drug in the market. The high you bring..makes all others fade in comparison.

The Damned can't stand us; he probably screams in anguish as we gaze lovingly at each other, and smile. It probably burns him to the core, everytime we exchange sweetly-sacred vows of eternal love. Yes, that's exactly why he sends countless of his minions our way..to create rifts between us. Does he not know he will NEVER succeed, if the One who he's answerable to..does NOT WILL for it to happen?

He can slave day and night to break us apart; we'll slave day and night to make sure one of the most ABHORRED things to our Lord..NEVER happens.

رَبَّنَا ظَلَمۡنَآ أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمۡ تَغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَتَرۡحَمۡنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرِينَ

Everyday

Salam 3lykm,

..And yes, I wrote two separate pieces last night. After writing that depressive one, I felt better. So, I wrote something else. Something slightly more..I wouldn't say positive, really..but something that wasn't depressive. Let's just leave it at that. Of course, it's dedicated to my one & only: Bu3awas.♥

Everyday is a battle between my heart and mind. Everyday, I deem our union a blessing and a curse. Everyday, I bite back a shy smile, and choke back bitter tears. Everyday, I'm left with just a little more anticipation and regret. Everyday, I vow to do whatever it takes to make it up to you, and not to speak to you 'til you apologize. Everyday, I wake up and fall asleep to thoughts of you, endlessly wondering whether I'm living a dream, or a nightmare.

Everyday, I fall deeper in love with you, exponentially increasing my fear of losing you. Everyday, my impatience feels like taking control, bridging the agonizing distance that tears us apart. Everyday, I agonize over endless thoughts that send me headfirst into a dizzying future, only to shake my head in disbelief. Everyday, I feel like my dreams have empowered reality, only to be thrown off roughly..and unpredictably.

Every day spent without you, is a struggle to stay sane and alive.

Lovers' Fervor

Salam 3lykm,

When I don't write, my blog remains neglected for months, but when I do...one post after the next. Nature's way of maintaining a balance, eh?o.o Anyway, here's something I wrote last night; yes, I tend to write at night, to make up for my 'tweeting myself to sleep' habit, I suppose.x'D Anyway, I thought of calling the post 'Ecstasy, part II'..because it kinda ties in with it, but then I thought against it.

Driven by blinding passion, each longing glance stolen holds countless words drowned out by silence. The slightest caress is all it takes for a sudden surge in temperature, fueling the pulsating inferno that stirs within. Lust tempts Love, teasingly flirtatious, arousing arduous desires from a deep slumber, luring sanity into a dangerously fatal trap.

Slow Death

Salaaaaaam Allaaaahhhh 3lykm!

Did the title scare y'all? Instill some hope, perhaps?:p I'm not dying, not literally anyway! It's a slow virtual death..yep. Soon, when y'all google 'Um3eesa' or 'Um3awas', you might not find this blog anymore.

Before you reach out for my neck, lemme explain! Or try to, anyway..the brothers should be able to understand; y'all wouldn't like your wife to be 'reachable' online, right? Yeah, Bu3awas' stance is pretty valid, regardless of how many painstaking years it's taken to build this blog up.

I closed down all my social networking accounts as a result. I wouldn't like for suspicions to knock on the door, let alone enter our marriage. Once they enter, love walks out. So yeah, I'd rather be socially dead than be..wait for it..waaaiiiiit for it.."Forever Alone".:p

Yes, I miss sharing my nonsense online..& yes, I miss the friends I made along my...Internet Journey?=| ...but I have a lot more important, concrete aspects of life to anticipate now..& there's no way I can let those crumble.

I guess..this is where 'opportunity cost' comes in, innit? You win some, you lose some. All good things come to an end, innit? Except marriage. If you work for it. I want to hold on to Bu3awas; he's my 'citizenship' for Jannah.=$

Yeah okay, enough mushiness already!xD This was just a general update on life...just to show you I'm still alive. Fortunately or unfortunately.:P

'Til next time,

Essalam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Ecstasy

Salam 3lykm,

I wrote this at Fajr, on the 15th of October; it wasn't meant to be poetic, honestly..but when Bu3awas pointed out it's a poem, I realized it actually did rhyme quite a bit.x$ I leave you all with my latest, 'Ecstasy'.

Intoxicated by your scent, senses heightened by your touch; I'd rather put celibacy to shame. Taking more of you in, with each breath..cautiously; fearing the inability of being affected by your fragrance again. My heart against yours, beating in perfect harmony; with our lips in sync, dancing to a beat..inaudible..even to those in close proximity.

Your touch..fingertips stirring up an internal inferno of passion in their wake..your scent, a sweet intoxicant; slowly leaving my sanity at stake.

Priceless

This was something I wrote in Rm'6an around Fajr, whilst in Makkah. It's what really broke my so-called 'writer's block', but I didn't deem it good enough to join the rest on this blog. However, while going through my phone, I decided it belongs here, along with my years-worth of mindless babble. So yeah, I leave you with 'Priceless'.

If you asked me what you meant to me
I'd be unable to give you a proper reply
Putting it in words is far from easy
And anything less would be a lie

The sun rises and sets everyday
Warmth spreads across as it shines
Yet enveloped in cold darkness, I stay
'Til your life crosses mine

If I said you mean the world to me
This world is but filth covered in gold
It knows not the meaning of eternity
And for a cheap price, could be bought & sold

Eternity is what comes to mind
As thoughts of you enlighten my heart
Having left all negativity behind
Deeming you 'Priceless' from the very start

I dedicate this to my one & only: Bu3awas.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Farewell..'Til Further Notice

Salam 3lykm,

Here's something I wrote last night, after talking to Mommie-Dearest about 'life'.

A word of advice: Never tell your children they're engaged. Unless things have finalized, don't say a word to them. 'Specially not to your lil princesses. Because when their sky-high castles are torn down, so is your heart. Al7mdlla 3la kl 7aal.

I am single. I am in the prime years of my life, and I'm no longer waiting around for this charming Bu 3awas guy to sweep me off my feet like a broom. No. I'm through with that whole 'wife-in-waiting' phase. It's just too painful. Build high hopes, and eventually..I know they'll come crashing down. I'm no longer holding on to this fantasy; I'm taking the advice of several people I know, when I say, 'I'm letting go'.

What caused this change? Well, it's pointless. Why should I be this damsel in distress, waiting for her prince to come a-knockin'? I don't mean to be an airhead, but al7mdlla..I'm still desirable. Why should I tie myself down with an imaginary weight? That's what this whole fantasy is, really. Don't get me wrong..I still love Bu 3awas. And he'll know that when he comes around. But I'm pretty sure he isn't wallowing around in misery over me, so I'm done doing that!

I'm single, and until I sign an official legal document that states otherwise, I'm nothing but that. I'm still Um 3awas, but bear in mind..there really NEVER was a Bu 3awas. ;) Unless of course, you consider Imam At-Tirmidhi's Kniya. x'D

So..if you're out there 'Bu 3awas', good for you, mate. Your existence is totally insignificant to me, love..'til you sign the Legal Bond, & perhaps..put a dazzling rock on this finger. I sure as hell deserve it, for waiting this long.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Love-Soaked Delirium

Salam 3lykm

Yes, another poem (written on 19th Nov, 2010) & yeah..dedicated to My One & Only *yet once agaiin*, Bu 3awas. ♥.♥

It is truly a state of delirium, because Bu 3awas is yet a figment of my imagination since I was 16. He's a fantasy I'm holding on to, rather than holding onto nothing at all. =') Yes. Okay. Pathetic, much? Walk on, people..nothing to see here. Just a delirious lifeless female, that's all.

But she's happyyy..and that's all that matters. Bu 3awas makes her happy. ♥.♥

Remember, what's said in delirium doesn't have continuity; a 'flow'. Which is why I loved writing this soppy piece, lol. 'Nuff said. Here ya go:

The world knows I love you so
I don't mind being termed 'insane'
It doesn't matter, you..I have yet to know
Remaining without both face & name

My heart will never tire of loving you
At your mention, my lips will always form a smile
When you're missed, tears will always glisten like morning dew
On cheeks that go rosy when I think of mothering your child

Give me one reason this love should be contained
Don't shout; just silence me with a passionate kiss
Why..shrouded by secrecy..should our love remain
Isn't it natural that it follows our Eternal Promise?

Whether we meet here or in Paradise
In love with you I will forever be
I pray Allah makes you the Coolness of my Eyes
Bu 3awas, you hold my heart captive for Eternity

رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Destiny's Perfection

Salam 3lykm

I wrote this last night, within less than 10 minutes! Yes, I surprise myself sometimes, too.xP Dedicated to the Love of My Life, Bu 3awas.<3 Whoever he is; wherever he might be. *Rabbi y7f'6h w y5alleeh liii; Ameen! x$*

There has to be some mistake
I'm sure there's a hidden catch
A perfect couple they'd make
A 'one-in-a-million' kind of match

Is this another game Destiny plays?
Or is this their 'dream come true'?
Will they end up taking different ways?
Or will they be the envied 'inseparable-two'?

She stares up at the Heavens above
A mysterious glow on her tear-stained face
Praying earnestly for her Eternal Love
To complete her life; falling perfectly into place

Yes, Um 3awas is totally ♥.♥ over Bu 3awas, and cannot wait to meet him. x$

رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Passion's Flame

Salam 3lykm

Not the first of its kind, but the first of its kind to be made public. =$

Your eyes, sweet pools of honey
Inquisitively searching my soul
Your touch has me feeling tingly
As you brush away my loose curls

No words have yet been spoken
Yet, your eyes betray your thoughts
Glances not exchanged, but stolen
You've got my stomach in knots

Jawline traced by callous fingertips
Setting my cheekbones on fire
Cupping my chin, lowering your lips
Eyes now smoldering with desire

Your lips brush gently against mine
Exploring virgin territory with your tongue
Your fragrance...intoxicatingly divine
Heightening my senses as it fills my lungs

Your hands slowly slide down to my waist
Bringing our bodies closer together
Trailing open-mouth kisses, savoring your taste
Resisting your attempts to make me surrender

Driven by lust and breathlessly aroused
Hard masculinity pressed against soft womanly curves
The ignited flame of passion never doused
'Til moments of marital intimacy..merely 'Preserved'.

For this one, comments are prohibited!x$ No matter how 'irresistible' the anonymous comments feature seems..resist the urge!

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Vote 'Bleez' ;P

Salam 3lykm

First, I would like to thank all the sweethearts that voted on 'The Makeover' poll; really glad that you all like it!=D Now, I have another decision to make, and I'm leaving it solely to you guys. I was going through the blog, and noticed I have quite a few posts dedicated to my currently-unknown, M.I.A, significant other..AKA My Better Half => Bu 3eesa AKA Bu 3awas.<3

The question is: should I make a separate label, 'Bu 3awas'?

The poll awaits your attention, Laydeez &..(if any:P) Gentlemen!=D

Mashkoooooooreeeeeeen, ma ga99rtow <= I lies. Still mad at y'all for the lack of feedback. xP Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh =D

'Rosy' Thoughts

She plucks a rose, gently caressing it with her fingertips. As she closes her eyes, she inhales the sweet-smelling fragrance, letting her fingers linger on the thorns.

These are all the obstacles that lie between you and I.

She smiles, blissfully oblivious of the crimson droplet that glistens on her finger.

Wounds matter not, for your touch is all they need to heal.

She caresses its sepals, as the intoxicating fragrance fills her lungs.

Take me in your protective embrace and hold me close, allowing your perfume to tantalize my senses.

Her thoughts lead her far away, as the velvety petals brush softly against her cheek.

How many steps would it take to bridge the agonizing gap between us?

*Dedicated to Bu 3eesa..whoever he is, and wherever he may be. <3*

The Quest

Salam 3lykm

Sh7alkm? Drove to Madinah day before yesterday Al7mdlla, and currently staying at the couple's house I wrote about earlier. Sb7analla..a woman's touch is truly what turns a 'house' into a 'home'. A lot of work is needed, and Inshalla - with your prayers - we'll be able to do as much as we can while we're here.

My 'poetry block' came to an end day before yesterday as well, lol. After coming back from Al 7aram in the morning, I sat down and completed an unfinished poem I started writing months ago.

Since I've finished my studies wl7mdlla, the next obvious chapter that's about to begin is 'marriage'. So, amidst all the talks...I wrote a poem to 'mark' the 'beginning', lol.

It may sound far-fetched, but these are truly the main qualities I look for in a life partner. I'm not concerned with his educational background, nor the figures of his bank account; Allah er-Razig - the amount a person is supposed to get has already been decided when life is breathed into him or her as a fetus.

Sb7analla, I received 5 job offers which were all at administrative positions..but because I don't ever intend to work UNLESS absolutely necessary..they were of no use to me. Yet, there SO many graduates out there, still hunting tirelessly for a job; What good have their degrees brought them? Sb7analla, I know of a person who didn't study beyond GRADE 3; today, that guy drives around in a LEXUS and deals with the Shyoo5. Mashalla, Allah has blessed him with so much that he wouldn't have to think twice before walking into a car showroom and rolling out two brand-new, luxurious rides, FULLY paid for, in CASH.‏إن الله‏ ‏يرزق‏ ‏من‏ ‏يشاء‏ ‏بغير‏ ‏حساب

Neither am I interested in whether he's tall, short, fat, scrawny, etc...but if he doesn't keep a fist-length beard, then he's come knocking at the wrong door.It may sound extreme to some, and others say, 'what's in a beard? Taqwa has nothing to do with what the guy looks like!'

If he is 'too embarrassed' to adopt the style of Rasulullah صلى‏ ‏الله‏ ‏عليه‏ ‏و‏ ‏سلم‏ ‏, then I'm 'too embarrassed' to walk by his side. I've not known any other 'styles' for MEN; al7mdlla, my brothers and father have always let their beards grow long, and my brothers perfect the look by letting their hair grow long, too.

Even when these senseless illustrationists attempt to draw Muslims, they always draw a beard; why then are the brothers SHUNNING their IDENTITY? Have you ever seen a Sikh without a turban, sporting a clean-shaved face and a crewcut..or even a mohawk? Why on earth do Muslim brothers copy such retarded fads, when even Mushrikeen wouldn't?

Anyway, I could carry on FOREVER on such controversial topics, but THIS post is supposed to be about my poem! Here's to praying that my future husband is someone who will truly help me 9;complete' my Iman and Deen, Inshalla..may Allah Bless all the unmarried Readers with Righteous spouses, who will be a source of Eternal Bliss for them in the A5irah; Ameen!

The Quest

I seek not a temporary love that will gradually fade away; I seek that which will bring contentment to my heart and soul, and strengthen day after day.

I seek not superfluous words that toy with the mind and heart; I seek the simple ones of those who will continue making a difference long after he departs.

I seek not the company of one who prefers to pray the 5 prayers in the comfort of his home; I seek the company of he who would rather search the city for someone to pray with, than standing in prayer on his own.

I seek not someone who has been blinded by the wealth that he has been endowed with; I seek the one who spends openly in the way of Allah, leaving Angels in doubt of how much he gives.

I seek not the coward who will take refuge in his home, when war has been declared; I seek the Lion of Allah from whom not one disbelieving life will be spared.

I seek not one whose frown is more renowned than his smile; I seek he whose alluring presence is felt from well over a mile.

I seek not a companion to share the temporary joys of this transit world; I seek a soulmate with whom I will enjoy in Everlasting Gardens of descriptions foretold.

If what I seek is an impossible quest, far from reality; I will persevere tirelessly to fulfill this so-called 'fantasy'.

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

The Legal Bond - Part 2 ;)

Salam 3lykm

Remember 'The Legal Bond'? You don't? (Shame on you!=.=)
Lemme refresh your memory then (A) :P

The Legal Bond

Pools of honey,
Framed by upturned drapes of silk;
Hills small and rosy,
Surrounded by a frozen body of milk.

Rosy riverbanks,
Protecting long-hardened snow
Beauty for which a man thanks,
He who did Bestow...

Emeralds that sparkle,
Rain-kissed locks that flow;
Fiery cheekbones that startle,
Milky complexion aglow.

Well-defined jaw-line,
Beautified by a lush beard;
Pearls of perspiration a-shine,
Full lips...so clear.

...As the ink stains paper,
A contract's being signed;
Solid evidence for later,
Hearts & Souls legally intertwined.

I know...*siiigh* :P We'll all get our 'legal bonds' writ in due time, Inshalla!\o/ xD

Well, one of my first assignments was to write a descriptive essay, and knowing how I'm so preoccupied with one thought, I decided to take up the challenge of writing it out of my own poem. Wasn't really a challenge; more like a heart-tugging ordeal!:P Needless to say, this essay got an A. (A) ;D I didn't change the title, of course..I dedicate this to Miss 'Zaini' ;D love ya babe!<3>

Freshly-cut grass glistened under the moonlight, a tell-tale sign it had rained yet once again. No one could have guessed that it was only a few hours ago, that two strangers had vowed to share their lives with each other. Burn-out marks adorned the driveway, where the groom’s brother decided to add some more noise that would temporarily ring in the ears of startled guests, long after the newlyweds had been driven off to the airport, to commence their long-awaited honeymoon.

Little did the newlyweds know that April showers might threaten to ruin the celebration of a lifetime. It was for that reason that everyone had to be ushered into the house once again, tickled with happiness at the joyous event. Young girls twittered gleefully in their matching frocks and boys complained about being suited up in tuxedos, as their mothers looked on over them anxiously, assuring they stayed clean. Young men and women followed in suit, keeping their gazes floored, not only to avoid any awkwardness during accidental eye-contact with each other, but also to avoid the piercing glares of their elders who watched over them like hawks.

Once indoors, quietening the excited guests down proved to be quite a challenge. Impatient with anticipation, some of them also tried to get to the room where the official ceremony was about to take place. However, adhering strictly to their religion, the two families had decided that the bride would only be shown to the female guests, thus abandoning the tradition of seating the newlyweds on a decorated stage. Suddenly aware of the sound system’s final adjustments, their chaotic demeanor was gradually transformed. As the scholar began speaking into the microphone, their murmurs died down, and pin-drop silence prevailed.

The scene was picture-perfect: never had there been such a beautiful couple before. The match looked like it had definitely been made in heaven. Pools of honey, framed by long, silken eyelashes, threatened to betray the bride’s nervousness, as she hung her head down low shyly. Her cheeks were flushed by the sudden, short burst of activity that had taken place, all thanks to the usually-welcomed April showers. As the scholar asked her husband whether he would take her as his life partner, she raised her head slightly, biting nervously on her trembling, rosy lips.

As he took the pen in his hands, she could not help noticing the agile, yet graceful strokes with which he solemnized his vows. His grip was steady, but she could see the pearls of perspiration that shone above his lips. As she watched on, he nervously ran his fingers through his lush beard, which embellished his well-defined jaw-line. His fierce cheekbones went ablaze, creating a startling contrast against his glowing, milky complexion. She stifled a smile that played upon her lips, displaying a perfect array of pearly-whites. Putting the pen down, he slowly lifted his head up to meet her gaze.

She gasped as the pair of intense emeralds looked back at her. Framed by rain-kissed locks of ebony, his illuminated face forced her gaze back down, as a blush crept up her cheeks. As the certificate was passed onto her after she had verbally agreed to the holy matrimony, she tried to secure her grip on the pen, hands trembling like a leaf. A tear escaped her eye, rolling down like a magnificent pearl, its rebellion being met with a hastened demise. She blinked away many tears that followed in suit, only to meet a dire consequence for straying away.

As the ink stained paper, it took her husband a lot of self-restraint to avoid getting up, and taking her into his arms. Dew glistened on roses so crimson, that even blood would shy away in comparison. It was only as the pen made its last mark that she realized, the deed lying in front of her – beautified by their contrasting signatures – was solid evidence for later, that their hearts and souls had legally intertwined.

Desires

Salam 3lykm

Why? Why? Why?
I need someone to detach this heart, and throw it somewhere.
My heart and mind are going to drive me to insanity. Wait.
I'm already insane.
About someone I don't know; never seen; never heard.
Ma3gool??
The question is: Can you fall head over heels in love *wait..here's the catch..* with your spouse when:
1. They don't exist?
2. You don't know who it'll be?
3. You have a feeling...life might even end before a new one begins? *Don't ask!*

It's crazy, because I'M crazy - I perceive everything in a crazy way.
I over-think.
I DON'T have time to over-think. But I still do it.
It's not desperation for marriage - hell no. My rosy glasses broke AGES ago.
It's not seeking a way out of my parents' home...to get away from all these restrictions.
I love the restrictions. I learned to love them.
In fact, I can't live without some of them = I can't see myself with a passive guy.
I need someone...dominant. Takes over. Rules. <- Crazy? Read the first line of this paragraph. OK, either shut my heart in a box or...feed it to dogs.
Just.Get.Rid.Of.It!
Heart for sale - anyone interested?
OK, it's free - no price-tag on it...just take it away from me!
Never want it again - I don't want to feel.
I want my mind to function. Full control. No hindrance.
Right now, it's b-l-o-c-k-e-d.
This heart is like a tyrant. Taking over.

Can someone teach me how to switch it off?
Pump blood - emotionless.
Wait. Is that all it does?
So...my desires?
OMG...I've been pinning the blame!
On something else - does it have a name?
My self. It's not a typo. Two words. One meaning.
Ego.

That is out.
My heart is back in place. Guilt-free.
I smile. Not manically.
It's a peaceful smile. Of content.
The puzzle has been solved.
The picture is clear.
I'll analyze the picture later.
When my mind wakes up.
Or will it?

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

*ALL Readers are requested to kindly leave the thoughts they had, specifically as they read the post. It will help with a research I'm doing. Use the 'Anonymous commenter' feature, but please - your replies are needed for this post. Jzakm Allah 5ayr =)*

PS. I've not lost my mind - not yet, at least ;)