Peaceful

Salam 3alykm,

I'm happy, al7amdulillaah. It feels wonderful; my heart's at ease. I don't feel like bursting into tears 24/7, which is amazing really! I don't know what brought this change, but I've decided there's really no point in complaining about those things I don't have. Our lives are balanced; we always have something in compensation for what we don't have....and al7amdulillah I've realized that! Either that, or I'm feeling extra philosophical now :p

Yesterday, my professor said something which really made sense! We complain day & night, whether it be about our work/study surroundings, or personal lives. How does that help us? I think it just puts more stress on a person to think of all the negative aspects of life; it's tested & certified! Instead of wasting our time complaining, why don't we think of solutions to the problem?! Agreed, there are some things that don't really have a solution, but that's when you can wreck your brain trying to think of it's compensation :p

I just remembered, my mom's friend wanted me to give a small talk to a bunch'a 'teenies' for her daughter's 'sweet sixteen'. I'm supposing that passed off in the duration we had traveled, so al7amdulillah I was spared! Teens are major rebels; kudos to my parents for dealing with me while I was in the rebellious phase..I was terrible! Attire didn't really matter when it came to me; music and lack of 3ibadeh though...was at its climax! Smoking, sheesha, & drugs all disgusted me, so my parents were lucky! I remember talking to a couple of this girl's friends..lets just say Allah bestowed me with tolerance at the right time, w lillaah el7md!

I know I'm not an angel, but it really aggravates me seeing the condition of Muslims these days. Is it because I see a vague reflection of what I used to be? Wallaahu a3lam. Sometimes I think maybe I'm being a hypocrite by talking all religious, then I stop for a while. I guess it just proves that our Iman level does fluctuate! I've noticed, when I'm in the company of those way better than me, I feel really 'pious', and want to correct myself...bes youm aseer eluni, Allah yster. Half the times, I miss my prayers..end up praying them really late! I think, " ok, inshalla will sit in the masjid w read Qur2aan during my free time", bes I end up fil labs, aimlessly whiling away time! It's a sad situation walla; I wish I had someone asking me persistently 'did you pray/read Qur2aan today?' I need someone to keep warning me walla, cuz in uni, no one really cares! We all need that, and that's why they say that your company matters BIG TIME! The day you decide to befriend those people that are far away from their Deen, that's when you throw yourselves in the hands of Shay6aan! It happened with me, so I know it very well...

What hurts me the most, is missing Fajr everyday. I know my day would be infinite times better if I prayed Fajr right on time, and there's no one to blame but myself for that. I can't say that I try, because setting an alarm 2 hours before Fajr isn't enough. It's obvious if I sleep at 3 or 4, there's NO WAY I'll make it for Fajr! They say when you love someone, you'll automatically get up from the deepest sleep when they call your name; does it mean my heart is void of Allah's love?:'( Sb7anallaah, I know people who wake up right at the sound of the Athaan! Forget that, they wake up right at the time for Tahajjud..regardless of the time they went to sleep! This shows their love for Allah! How fortunate are those who spend their nights in sujood while the rest spend theirs sleeping...may Allah make me one of the former, Ameen :'(

It's now time for 39r, so I better wrap this post up. I always say, the best thing is to get married to a person who'll persuade you to do 3ibadeh at all times! At the times that their level of Iman is low, you support them & help push them towards Allah....and vice versa! May Allah bless us all with righteous spouses, Ameen.

Our future is in our hands; we can either make it or break it. But when our bodies are laid down to rest & all our loved ones walk away leaving us all alone, we reach a point of no return...no looking back. It's either a pass or fail...Jannah or Jahannam.

May Allah save us all from 3thaab el 8br, and join us all in Jannatl Firdous under his Ra7ma & ne3m, Ameen.