No one knows the pain I feel, as they talk about you and tell me how they've spoken to you. My insides are eroding; my heart has turned to ashes after burning for so long. Why did you have to go away? Why is it that everyone I begin to love and get close to, is torn away from me..leaving deep, ugly scars behind?
I remember the nights we spent together; the endless hours of VIP tuition services..I remember how I fell to your lap in exhaustion, yet you tirelessly read the Fi8hi masaa2il and e5tilafat to me, while rubbing my head past 3AM..hoping I'd get something out of it!:'(
I remember when we all sat together, the eleven of us..and laughed 'til we cried at random jokes..some of which were SO lame, that we ended up laughing at the person who NARRATED them!:') Will those days ever come again, when we'd stay up past 12AM..talking about random things?:'(
My heart bled dry the day you came to say goodbye; I'm sorry for soaking your 3by with my tears..:'( I'm sorry for making you cry too, as I held on tightly..never wanting to let go. No one will understand the strong bonds between us; sisters and the best of friends :')
You were the only ones I could relate to; the only ones who didn't look at me judgmentally. Now, people say it was bound to happen some day, and that I should learn to accept it. I will never stop crying for the days we spent together!:'( If this were written by hand, the ink would have smudged beyond recognition, mixed with my tears.
My body is wrecked with sobs as I remember how bitterly you cried, as I regret not sitting in the classes you taught. Instead, I was tied to the laptop, working endlessly, expending all my energy on those damn uni projects!:'( I cry as I remember how you used to hold my hand and lead me to the class, and share your book with me :'(
I can only ask Allah for the one last effort of enjoining these two families together...or else, I will cry 'til I breathe my last, wishing for death to come and take me away from this world. I was friendless when you came into my life, as I was heedless and confused. I am friendless once again, and this time..I waste no efforts trying to fit in anymore.
I ask Allah to unite us under the Blessings of Jannatul Firdous in return, for this severe hardship of separation I'm forced to face. Never did I come across anything as heartbreaking as having to say goodbye to all of you...one by one, you slowly went away :'(
A dedication to the ONLY sisters who EVER understood me..and the ONLY friends who genuinely cared and never stabbed me in the back, or mocked me:
Banaat 3zeez ur R7maan :'(
Rabbi y7f'6hn w ys3dhn dnya w a5ira..w yjzeehn a7san aljazaa2 fdarayn!:')
13 comments:
Of course I could never fully appreciate how it felt, but from what you wrote, wow, I could have cried a child's cry!!
- My insides are eroding; my heart has turned to ashes after burning for so long.
- My heart bled dry
- If this were written by hand, the ink would have smudged beyond recognition, mixing with my tears.
- I was friendless when you came into my life, as I was heedless and confused. I am friendless once again, and this time..I waste no efforts trying to fit in anymore.
Pure feelings pouring out like a city flooded with the tears of cotton clouds.
Allah el mst3an.
I hope you never ever have to go through something like this for as long as you live; it's worse than having someone make an incision in your chest with a hot, blunt metal object dipped in acid..then rip your heart out. :'(
All I can do is cry..my throat has gone sore, and my eyes burn. No one will ever understand what they meant to me; I just want to surrender to an eternal slumber; never getting up again once my eyes close..:'(
wow, very strong full-of-emotional words:
- it's worse than having someone make an incision in your chest with a hot, blunt metal object dipped in acid..then rip your heart out
- my throat has gone sore, and my eyes burn
my advice, though, remember Allah, and remember that it is fate, 8adar, Allah knows best, so accept it and try and move on :)
and believe it or not, i will taste this bitterness whether I like it or not, except if I died first.
With your involuntary collaboration we have produced a poem called 'Hurtful Departures'. I hope you accept my idea of using your words to write this poem; otherwise, I am willing to delete it. Please check my blog and comment. Waiting for your reply.
Jazak Allah 5ayr fd dnya wl a5ira bro..for the kind words =') Yes, I heard a lecture on ذكر الله not too long ago, and Sb7analla..something the Shay5 said just touched me deeply. He said we shed tears of love for ones who may hurt us, but we rarely shed tears of love for Our Sole Protector: Allah.
He said we are soo eager to meet those we love; however, are we eager and madly impatient to meet Allah? Our hesitance to death, our uncertainty shows the opposite of what we claim: our love for Allah.
Walla this lecture made me stand up again. Yes, I love my sisters, but wanting death for their departure is kinda extreme now that I think of it!O_o Lol, Allah works in the MOST wondrous ways, Sb7analla!:')
I am truly honored that you chose to use my words to write a poem; however, as you'll notice in your comments, I've come up with more 'collaborative work'!xD I'll post it up on my blog after this comment, Inshalla! Allah yjzeek kil5ayr, Bu Thyab - I usually get this unexplainable 'hype' after writing something, and I've gotten it now..Lat9addeg 3mrk, it was again Allah's wondrous ways..you were just an intermediate..xD ;P
La la, you can tell my mood's totally flipped over - I've started being mean, again!xD Thanx walla..it has been a great pleasure to work with you; looking forward to more future collaborations *nods* ;P
=(
story of my life...
i feel so bad for u, I wish i cud give u my shoulder to cry on..
remember that time heals all pain.. this is the only thing that keeps me living until now..
yzach Allah khair for mentioning the lecture, do u have a download link for the lecture?!
thanks once again for agreeing to produce a collaborative work!!
Wiyak..I do, bs how much Urdu can ya understand?;P
I don't mind translating it, and posting it here if you want.
Anytime, don't mention it - the pleasure was mine. =)
very tora tora. no, don't worry about translating it, yzach Allah 5air anyways =)
You just hit the nail on the head when u mentioned:
He said we are soo eager to meet those we love; however, are we eager and madly impatient to meet Allah?
lol! w'iyak..=)
ya5i it's not me...this shay5 is AMAZING..his explanation, his examples..the analogies he uses..sb7analla..he even makes connections with science and Deen.
Spiritually rejuvenating <3 He has a few English lectures online, too..if you're interested =)
wouldn't lose anything with extra links in my bookmarks =)
The only 'slight' problem is, once you hear of the website's name..you're going to think sufi = shirk. Yes, there is a LOT of deviance in relation to sufism, what with all the music and dancing, and retardedness.
I assure you, I've been through it before - you can see his chain of teachers actually goes up to Rasulullah. There is NO grave worship, whatsoever..and hmm, I'm sure you'd find the FAQs and other articles there enough to answer the misconception people have when they hear the word 'Tasawwuf'.
I was doubtful about it myself before, but now I'm certain that the concept has no shirk involved whatsoever. And the whole thing abt taking the Shay5 as more exalted than Rasulullah? *wel 3iyath billah* No way..NEVER.
Translating that lecture would clear all doubts you have in essence, regarding 'Sufism'. No gatherings of dancing for the shay5, no grave worship, no music, etc.
Having a Shay5 is like having a mentor help you crush your Nafs, and purify your heart..he leads you towards Allah, and we definitely DO NOT go and pray on their graves and ask THEM for help; that's deviance, and it comes from plain ignorance..that would make 'em no different from shee3a!
With all that said.. www.tasawwuf.org
the early sufis had good intention and they were very good persons, however, late sufis are the problem, they destroyed the true meaning of tasawwuf. I'll check it out, and see for myself, but please don't get me wrong, i do trust what u mentioned in ur post.
Post a Comment