I feel like I've been mentally disconnected from everyone I know. I dare not get close to anyone, because..either I push them away, or they are taken away from me. Why happiness is so temporary, I will never understand..very short-lived. I have no interest in life anymore; what is there to look forward to in this world?
I've been back-stabbed many times, and I see people getting back-stabbed all the time; hell, I don't even know who's genuine and who's not. As long as I'm studying 3elm, I'm fine. Once classes finish, or once I'm back in university for yet another day..I feel like someone has taken me out of Jannah and thrown me in Jahannam. I'm restless in university, specially if I still have time 'til class starts. There is nothing to do there.
Sometimes I think I don't belong in this world, yet I don't have what it takes to 'book me a spot' in Jannah. I look around helplessly; I might be smiling, but it is only because I've cried my eyes dry. I stare on clueless; I do not care to know what is going on anymore. Even if people try explaining, I'm used to living in my own little space. Leave me there.
اللهم لا عيش إلا عيش الآخره
2 comments:
That's sad, I think maybe you are feeling lonely or lacking a target to seek. I remember I was feeling for years like what you are feeling, maybe I am not totally healed however I am better than before for I started not to take things personally.
Your post for some reasons reminded me of an old quote I wrote, "Oh Loneliness Thank you for always being there for me!....Your the only friend who never leave me alone..."
That was before I graduated..lol..things have changed a little bit since I joined Twitter, though..al7mdlla.=) I have a life..I teach 7deeth, al7mdlla..what more could I ask for? <3
Your quote reminds me of a poem I wrote - 'Ramblings of An Insomniac.' ;D
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