Salam 3lykm,
Sh7alkm, Dearest Readers? Yes, I know..negligence has plagued this blog. You might be happy to learn I'll need its support to get through the rough patch Life's pulling me through right now. So, I'll get my fingers working over these dusty keys once again.
I do know everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens is for the best, but there are some shocks in life that take a while to finally accept as 'beneficial'. As for me, it takes a while for tragedies to overcome their numbing effect, and when they do, they sink in deep...causing irreversible damage.
May Allah free all Muslims of hardships that currently pose as obstacles in their walkway of life; Ameen. I leave you with my latest, 'A Tragedy'.
Overtaken by this confusion
Thoughts I don't understand
Everything good is just an illusion
That disappears as I bring forth my hand
I dare not whisper a word
For fear that my soul may hear
You might find it absurd
But deprivation I can no longer bear
Acidic tears sting disbelieving eyes
A dull ache paralyzing my heart
My mind, numbed by the shocking surprise
Killing all hopes of a promising fresh start
Thoughts? Comments? Criticism? Leave me a comment, so I know you've been here. =)
Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh
10 comments:
I'm glad u paid a teeny weeny bit of attention to our convo last night :p
As for accepting it I'll get there inshaAllah *hugs*
All my love and prayers r rushing ur way. Through sheikh zayed road :p
3
YOU'LL get there* autofill is a dumdum -_-
Hey, a poem I can comment, cool!
The use of language/vocab is superb throughout the three stanzas.
I can picture it since it was very coherent and I just had to read it the second time.
I believe that reinforcing the word 'illusion' mentioned in the third line was very useful making this poem more powerful. Similarly, you have reinforced the 'whisper' in the second stanza.
Now, I believe that the third stanza is a bit wobbly. That is to say, the eyes, heart, mind and hope were in each line but, in my opinion, the lines weren't very connecting. Some might put it this way: "it lacks a bit of flow".
Other than that, it is awesome!
3: LOL, ya know..the use of 'dumdum' gave you away.>:/ I'm expecting a prince driving a Mustang to come for me, no less.O:) Til then, I'll 'accept' it.;$
Bu Thyaaaab..LONG TIME!! LOL, there are lotsa poems you haven't analyzed, bro..look around!D:
The 3rd stanza had SO MUCH flow, it could take you along with it.:| no really, it was all 'literal'..the eyes moistened as the news sunk in, the heart ached..& the mind? Just shut off..to avoid any further pain..as for the news..it DID kill all the hopes & dreams I had..of a new life.</3
Al7mdlla 3 kl 7aal.. nawwart elblog, bro!=D it felt refreshing to see yet another analysis of yours..brings back memories of good ol' days at Talkish!:')
Aha, alright. Now that you have mentioned the 'news' it does make sense and there is a flow. In my opinion (meaning, you have the right to disregard it), if you gave a notice about the 'bad news' prior to the third stanza it would have been clearer. I would probably change 'A Tragedy' into 'Tragic News', since I believe the first two stanzas are great. Having said all of that, I still feel that the 11th line is a bit weak, but maybe it is just me vs that comma after the mind. lol
haha... although i read all of your poems (believe it or not, lol) there are some that have different a frequency than mine, but sometimes i'm too lazy (and in those times, i rate it either 'i like this' or 'awesomeness'). So write more poems
That was one sad post :'(
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! UM3AWAS! WHY DID YOU LEAVE TWITTER!!!!!!!! >.<?
*SPAMS*
COME
BACK
THE
TWEEPS
MISS
YOU
When the time is hard
There's no way to turn
As he promised he will always be there
To bless us with his love and his mercy
Cause, as he promised he will always be there
He's always watching us, guiding us
And he knows what's in all in our heart
So when you lose your way
To (Allah) you should turn
Cause, as he promised he will always be there…
he bring ourselves from the darkness into the light
Subhanallah praise belongs to you for everything
Shouldn't never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow his guidance all the way
Through the short time we have in this life
Soon it all'll be over
And we'll be in his heaven and we'll all be fine
I hope these words help you as much as they have helped me ♥
acidic tears got a bit painful to imagine - great poem!
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