I used to have this thought...marriage-related, of course. First, I used to think, I want my husband to be like this, have such an such qualities. Then I started looking around me, and I paused. Can I deprive a guy of the chance to marry one of these beauties? They're probably a million times better than me. Character-wise; looks were apparent. Then, after being grilled by many people on 'looks don't matter' and what-not, I thought, Ahem shay - Deen. I don't care if he's loaded; I don't give a damn if he looks like a 'Greek God'; I certainly couldn't care less if he was a prince, or came from an influential family...all that is temporary.
After a while, I realized...I want someone who won't be scared to fight for the sake of لا إله إلا الله - there's no way I'm marrying a whussie. If he can't fight, the least he can do is keep his mouth shut, and not criticize those who do. Unfortunately, very few of that category exist. I don't hide the fact that I support them - why the hell should I? Muslims have always been in fear of these pigs - that's why we're now bowing down to them in our own countries. To hell with them and their rulings. Fuel of Jahannam..unless they repent.
Anyway, then I said..Ah, Allah Knows what I'm like; 5ayr Inshalla. Notice my knya is Um 3eesa - Inshalla, low f n9eebi...I'm naming my first son 3eesa, who bi2ithnillah...will receive training. I have this intense desire of being زوجة مجاهد و أم الشهداء. Now, that narrows my selection down to..what? 0.1% chance of getting married?:P Lol, soo...gelt 5ayr Inshalla. I tend to think a lot, as you might have already noticed...I even wrote a poem about it - 'A Silent Murderer'. Sometimes nice thoughts, sometimes...dark ones. So, I was listening to one of my FAV nasheed - 6b3n related to what I'm in love with...and m3ena it's the MAIN line in the nasheed...it struck me a LOT later! xD 'Fil Jannah 7ooriyat' Gelt haiiih, akeeed! And that was the end of my dream of marrying a Mujahid, lol. Besides, if I won't marry ordinary guys for the fear of depriving them of someone much better, how the hell am I going to marry a Mujahid? I sure as hell don't deserve one!
Days, weeks, or months passed by *I really can't keep up with time* I'm not sure. Recently, or maybe not so recently, I heard the reason for 'not finding a guy' was because education doesn't match. I was staring at my mom, mouth agape - Of ALL things in life..EDUCATION? What the hell am I going to do with his education, fhmooni billah 3lykm? I understand the whole 'career' factor, but as long as he can land a decent job..hell, I couldn't care less if he only had a diploma! Besides, I have such a 'rich' educational background, it sickens me. You'd think I'm some sorta genius. Whatever. I might have a list of degrees in my hand, but that's only because my parents like keeping me busy - Allah yjzeehm kil5ayr. Here I'm thinking, As long as he prays five times a day in the Masjid REGULARLY, and fulfills his Fara2i'9, and follows the Sunnah - Noorun 3la Noor. Oh, and although I couldn't care less if he could get a role as Shrek, I AM picky about the 'beard' issue. 'No beard, you ain't cleared - walk yourself out the same door you came through.'
Elmuhem, after that shock..gelt yalla, كل نفس ذائقة الموت - I'll work extra hard, get me a ticket to Jannah...and become the 'mankoo7a' of a Mujahid there. Sb7analla, it occurred to me two or three days ago: What the hell am I in front of all those 7ooriyat?! La la, can't deprive them of those! Yalla ma3alaih, ermm...wait...O_O There's nothing beyond that! Smart wla smart? With all those degrees, it took me so many days to come to that conclusion :P I told a very dear sister this...and she says: 'Oh yes, certainly - you know what? You should have been an animal; they don't have any accountability. They'll be turned to dust, while the Kafir will look at them and wish HE was an animal. It would work for you, too. Or how about a plant?' -.- I was about to reply, but when I saw the angry look on her face..I decided against it. Guess what? This sister doesn't have any big, fancy shmancy degrees. Whilst I might have a bunch'a fancy Cambridge certificates, she has ONE, very simple - no fancy seal on it, or special embossed paper, mind you - MUFTIYA degree. Yep, education? No thank you. It certainly isn't a top-priority on my 'requirements', at least.
Then again, what are degrees? When it comes to Deen, they are merely papers like no other. A3maal...THOSE make up the ACTUAL degree. I'm studying Sharee3a; finishing this year. Do I consider myself a graduate? Hell no. I barely read the books! Handling a BBA Management degree on one side, and a Sharee3a degree on the other...my only regret is, I did better in Dnya this time. When I was at school, I excelled in Arabic and Islamic Studies - other subjects, I was an average student. Last year, a 3.67 GPA after a hellish semester with 6 major courses, and a passing grade in Deen. <- Awenh hathi elm6aw3a elli tgool hatha 7alaal w hatha 7araam, w ma3rf sho. 'Big talk, no Action' works in Dnya - hell, that's what it's usually BASED on. However, Deen? Never. No E5laa9, no Deen. First year, I was totally into it, even though I had a hellish time trying to cope with language difficulties. I had absolutely no problem with Arabic Al7mdulillah; Urdu was an entirely different story. Now? Language difficulty more or less smoothed out; the question is - am I into it? The answer, I shamefully have to admit..is no. I can't be - I'm expected to get a GPA of 3.5; 3 is 'acceptable', but 'not that great'. I'm barely in class - I have classes at university, and attendance is an issue there. So, where do I cut slack? Deen, lil2asaf esh shadeed! I tried setting university work aside; I came to the point where I just wanted to drop outta university, because I couldn't handle it. A3maal? Let's not go there.
This is why I don't care - education is still secondary. Deen comes right at the top, because E5laa8 follow. Usually, I've noticed in life - those people who lack Deen - for instance - the owner of this blog...lack E5laa8. Yeah - A Levels, AS Levels, and IGCSEs don't teach you that. Neither does a BBA Management degree. That basically teaches you to be a 3bd edinar wed dirham. Laaa, mashkooreen - la Harvard, wla Oxford, wla b6ee5. I'd settle for a diploma holder from any small institute in UAE instead, any day. As for the issues related to jobs and career, و الله يرزق من يشاء بغير حساب - Riz8 has already been decided, and whether the US government likes it or not, if a bearded, practicing Muslim - AKA terrorist, extremist, and fundamentalist in their terminology - is destined to have a six-figure salary - موتوا بغيظكم.
Similarly, لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها لها ما كسبت و عليها ما اكتسبت. Unfortunately, if you want to work in a well-known organization, their first requirement for the guys is meet Mr Gillette. People get fired for following the Sunnah - where? In a MUSLIM country - wel3iyaath billah. The time has come, when following the Sunnah will be as walking with a piece of burning coal held in your hand. What's more important, I ask those who give importance to job security over the Sunnah...being recognized by a society who really doesn't a give damn about you, unless you have the money to prove your status? Or is it being recognized by 5atem en Nabiyeen, el7beeb M7ammad صلى الله عليه و سلم on youm El Qiyameh as someone belonging to his Ummah, and receiving the eternal thirst-quenching drink from his Blessed hands at 7ou'9 el Kawthar?
I can give you examples of many young men who shaved their beards and attained no success, yet those who actually QUIT their jobs instead of complying with regulations, and doors of success were opened wide for them. Take the example of my friend's brother - he was in the army, and was ordered to shave his beard. He refused. Time and time again, they'd warn him - threaten him, but they never threw him out. Reason being he was someone with a very good character, and the m6awa3 of the group. He'd drop everything he would be doing and pray, taking everybody along with him. Eventually, they delivered their last warning, and stated that today's your last chance. He didn't even think twice; he walked out, and never looked back. Today, he still has his beard and within two weeks of that incident, he was working with the Shyoo5. You do something for the sake of Allah, and expect Allah won't reward you? If you're awarded by this unappreciative world for the pettiest of things, won't the King of kings reward you for doing something for His Pleasure? Come on.
Let me use a VERY simple example. We've all heard the formula about the lion and the lioness, right? It's old-school now. Lion - mane = Lioness therefore Man - beard = She-Male <- Ter'9oon? I don't think so - at least, I hope not! Here's another example I came up with not too long ago, with the discussion of tigers eating deers (You know who you are!:P) I mentioned, it's usually the lions that are associated with eating the deers. 'Tigers/lions same difference'.
Nope; lions = 'King of the Jungle', tigers? Sher Khan :P
Unfortunately, I've been told by older women: 'We'll see what your reaction is when you're actually in the situation.' May Allah never put someone in such a trying situation - I'm not certain that I will succeed in the test, specially knowing where my Iman level stands now. However, Allah is with His Slave, as His Slave expects Him to be. Keep your expectations right, and Allah will give you what you expect, Inshalla...and here, is where my solution fits in too :P Thus, I expect to live up to my knya Inshalla, as well as fulfill my intense desire of being...not only the wife of a Mujahid, but the Mother of Shuhadaa2, bi2ithnillaahhh!^_^
Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh
PS. This was actually written as 'therapy', and it really does work! So, my advice to any 'depressed' people out there - start blogging! Keeps me sane, and others entertained!:P <- 'Mutualism', FTW!
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