Salam 3alykm
It's funny how when you LEAST expect something to happen....it DOES! O_O
I finally did some SERIOUS spring-cleaning...and now my room's actually lookin' like it's used by PEOPLE..not ANIMALS! -.- Come to think of it, something WEIRD is goin' on; I'm becoming very 'homey' these days! Cleaned the fridge Mufi generously scribbled on, doused the whiteboard with alcohol (& it actually LOOKS white now!), did all the dishes WITHOUT moaning about it!
Actually ready to learn cookin' this spring-break, too! OK, I'm beginning to scare myself....! Oh, and I'm sick & tired of livin' with visible dirt all around me; as long as Mommy did the cleaning herself, the house was SPOTLESS! Now that it's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for her to do it, we've had that dude comin' over to clean...& not only is it a PAIN to get kicked out of rooms so he can clean, seeing dirt AFTER he's cleaned just drives US crazyyy!!! >.< So yeah...I'm taking up cleaning the house again..just like I used to do before I started uni -.- Fantabulous work out...and since I can't STAND the boring treadmill anymore, it's really worth a shot! I have an evil brother, who thinks it's fun to remind his SINGLE sister that she's still not married -.- And for some straaaange reason, he thinks I'm always pissed off, LOL! I did eeeverything to show him how friggin' happy I really am in life *Al7amdulillah!* but nope...he 'wasn't buyin' it' -.- 7'6eh...yales ef Malaysia..if he was here, I'd show him -.- I'm SO NOT into continuing uni anymore! Walla I can't believe how relaxed I am these days...haven't even STARTED studying for tomorrow's HARD finals...and they're 2 to top it all off...! It really pisses me off to the max...leaving 3elm for this crap..stuff I'll INSHALLA NEVER need in my life! y3ni ma bayles giddam wa7ed...makin' his frickin' financial statements for him, wela takin' surveys and deducing the Statistics! I'm a giiirl...(A)i should be sitting at home, and taking care of the work there :p -.- Elmeshkela, nas mayfhmooon....mooooool mayfhmooon...GPA w cGPA...-.- ...Anyway, if I don't get started, I'll definitely get a GPA lower than 3! W my parents deserve seeing their kids with high grades...*sighs*
There is a poem that is tryin' to wriggle it's way down to my blog...but it'll have to wait...*sighs again*
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Friday, December 28, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Blessed ^_^
Salam 3alykm
I can't believe no matter how ungrateful I am to Allah, he still protects me & blesses me anyway :'( Sub7anallaah, it's so true:
Allah gives and forgives
Man gets and forgets
Walla I'm really happy today, w foog kil hatha...there are so MANY people I'm grateful to right now..w 3shan a du3a2 is accepted faster when it's done in the absence of the person, I won't shout out to those I'm lovin' right now...but I promise you, they're included in my ad3iya...:D
I've really been thinkin' of starting to wear gloves & socks, bes I've been told I'm going into extremes =( My 3elm teachers were very happy to hear my decision, fa that comforted me wayed, bes I want to make sure I keep 'em on...not take 'em off when it starts gettin' hot...make them a part of me when I go out...cuz I know that guys will then definitely keep their eyes off me. I've gotten a push, but I lack the shove to actually start wearing 'em =( 5ayr Inshalla...
I initially thought FaceBook was a waste of time, bes then I realized just as it can be used for flirting & more, it can also be a tool for da3wah! So, I joined...and apart from gettin' in touch with my classmates & lovable bros*:p*, I've learnt that there are a LOT of people out there who hate the way they are, and want to get closer to Allah ^_^ Allah ythabbet-hm..
I still get the odd messages from guys wanting to 'get to know me more'...which really pisses me off; they should at least have the decency to back off after reading my profile! >.< Allah yhdeehm w yhdeena jmee3n.. So, I feel blessed in every way right now, Al7amdulillah. Yeah, even being single seems like a blessing! Allah kateb n9eebi, fa why should I go screwin' myself up in the head? 5ayr Inshalla...I can feel it!:D OK, maybe I'm thinking extreme NOW, bes I'm thinking of a KSA-style 3baah; old women tend to wear it...so chances of bein' harassed decrease to a beautiful 0.1% :D wela have I really lost my mind now? lol...like it very much..closest to the Sunna ^_^ I want to do all that, bes a5aaf my relatives will REALLY come onto my case then! As it is, I'm criticized for not dressin' up, my loose clothing, etc etc...and friends will just flip! I know my family will be extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemelyy happy tho...:D aaah...thought is waaayed irresistible! Ygoooolooon...*y8hrooni b3d!* which sane guy will marry a cave woman like you!? Agool, the same kinda sane guy who treats his woman with respect, w doesn't treat her like a friggin' show piece! -.- Lil2asaf, guys back home want the girl to dress up so they can flaunt her on their arm >.<>.< And they call my clothes 'nighties'... whatever...at least I don't wear my undergarments on the outside w forget my clothes at home...! W7deh gaaletly, we'll all come and sing, drum, & dance at your wedding. I told her, 'sure...if there's enough place outside the weddin' hall...on the STREETS...feel free to!' :D ....ARGH! What's WRONG with people!? Music everywhere! You name it, and I bet you...it won't be free of music! 7atta fel msaajid, est'3firullaah! Musical RINGTONES! Naas y9alloon w all of a sudden, you hear..." CAAAAAAAAAAALIFORNIA LOOOOOVE..." >.<
I SWEAR, there's going to be NO music in my wedding..and if people don't want to come cuz of that...GOOD! More food for the NEEDY..those who ACTUALLY deserve it! No bloody traditions either; it's going to be short, sweet, simple..& memorable! If relatives don't like that...too bad. Deal with it. I didn't poke my nose in their wedding, so I'd appreciate it very much if they kept theirs outta mine! MY wedding, MY rules. And yeah...I'm blessed...with a brain! -.-
And now...*the most important points are always saved for last*
I love my Daddie, my Mommie, 7moodi, Barhoomi, w the naughtiest one outta 'em all...Mufiiii <3
And my verdict: I'm BLESsED. :D
I can't believe no matter how ungrateful I am to Allah, he still protects me & blesses me anyway :'( Sub7anallaah, it's so true:
Allah gives and forgives
Man gets and forgets
Walla I'm really happy today, w foog kil hatha...there are so MANY people I'm grateful to right now..w 3shan a du3a2 is accepted faster when it's done in the absence of the person, I won't shout out to those I'm lovin' right now...but I promise you, they're included in my ad3iya...:D
I've really been thinkin' of starting to wear gloves & socks, bes I've been told I'm going into extremes =( My 3elm teachers were very happy to hear my decision, fa that comforted me wayed, bes I want to make sure I keep 'em on...not take 'em off when it starts gettin' hot...make them a part of me when I go out...cuz I know that guys will then definitely keep their eyes off me. I've gotten a push, but I lack the shove to actually start wearing 'em =( 5ayr Inshalla...
I initially thought FaceBook was a waste of time, bes then I realized just as it can be used for flirting & more, it can also be a tool for da3wah! So, I joined...and apart from gettin' in touch with my classmates & lovable bros*:p*, I've learnt that there are a LOT of people out there who hate the way they are, and want to get closer to Allah ^_^ Allah ythabbet-hm..
I still get the odd messages from guys wanting to 'get to know me more'...which really pisses me off; they should at least have the decency to back off after reading my profile! >.< Allah yhdeehm w yhdeena jmee3n.. So, I feel blessed in every way right now, Al7amdulillah. Yeah, even being single seems like a blessing! Allah kateb n9eebi, fa why should I go screwin' myself up in the head? 5ayr Inshalla...I can feel it!:D OK, maybe I'm thinking extreme NOW, bes I'm thinking of a KSA-style 3baah; old women tend to wear it...so chances of bein' harassed decrease to a beautiful 0.1% :D wela have I really lost my mind now? lol...like it very much..closest to the Sunna ^_^ I want to do all that, bes a5aaf my relatives will REALLY come onto my case then! As it is, I'm criticized for not dressin' up, my loose clothing, etc etc...and friends will just flip! I know my family will be extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemelyy happy tho...:D aaah...thought is waaayed irresistible! Ygoooolooon...*y8hrooni b3d!* which sane guy will marry a cave woman like you!? Agool, the same kinda sane guy who treats his woman with respect, w doesn't treat her like a friggin' show piece! -.- Lil2asaf, guys back home want the girl to dress up so they can flaunt her on their arm >.<>.< And they call my clothes 'nighties'... whatever...at least I don't wear my undergarments on the outside w forget my clothes at home...! W7deh gaaletly, we'll all come and sing, drum, & dance at your wedding. I told her, 'sure...if there's enough place outside the weddin' hall...on the STREETS...feel free to!' :D ....ARGH! What's WRONG with people!? Music everywhere! You name it, and I bet you...it won't be free of music! 7atta fel msaajid, est'3firullaah! Musical RINGTONES! Naas y9alloon w all of a sudden, you hear..." CAAAAAAAAAAALIFORNIA LOOOOOVE..." >.<
I SWEAR, there's going to be NO music in my wedding..and if people don't want to come cuz of that...GOOD! More food for the NEEDY..those who ACTUALLY deserve it! No bloody traditions either; it's going to be short, sweet, simple..& memorable! If relatives don't like that...too bad. Deal with it. I didn't poke my nose in their wedding, so I'd appreciate it very much if they kept theirs outta mine! MY wedding, MY rules. And yeah...I'm blessed...with a brain! -.-
And now...*the most important points are always saved for last*
I love my Daddie, my Mommie, 7moodi, Barhoomi, w the naughtiest one outta 'em all...Mufiiii <3
And my verdict: I'm BLESsED. :D
Friday, December 21, 2007
3eed weirdness
Salam 3alykm
3eeeeeeeed:D well..the last day anyway. I look down at my arms, and I really feel like a bride anticipatin' her weddin' day, LOL. 7enna all the way til the top, and it looks absolutely GORGEOUS! But yeah, 3eed's over.
Turning 19 tomorrow inshalla, and Nadz wants to make a big issue over it, lol. Says she'll bake a cake & all that, but I'm hopin' she sleeps through & wakes up just in time to come over!xD
I'm scared about what might happen regarding the crazy move I made, but oh well! It just reinforces the fact that I'm cared about!:D I've really gone against the previous post I made; started taking care of myself! I guess it all has to do with feeling loved!:D To think I needed to go head-first on a concrete floor - that too in the BATHROOM! - to realize people actually care about me, LOL >.< However, I think I've done considerable damage to my nose; it hurts badly at times, and that affects my whole head, givin' me a killer headache! Dad says it's possible I fractured it during the fall, but since I can't stand the 'white coats', we left it at that. I had a bump on it from before, but now I have this dent, plus a red line to add to the decoration. I'm just glad nothing serious happened..
Anyway, I have more to say...but I'll end this post here for now. I'll probably come back in a couple of days to rant about something else like a mad woman! But that's all for now...
3eeeeeeeed:D well..the last day anyway. I look down at my arms, and I really feel like a bride anticipatin' her weddin' day, LOL. 7enna all the way til the top, and it looks absolutely GORGEOUS! But yeah, 3eed's over.
Turning 19 tomorrow inshalla, and Nadz wants to make a big issue over it, lol. Says she'll bake a cake & all that, but I'm hopin' she sleeps through & wakes up just in time to come over!xD
I'm scared about what might happen regarding the crazy move I made, but oh well! It just reinforces the fact that I'm cared about!:D I've really gone against the previous post I made; started taking care of myself! I guess it all has to do with feeling loved!:D To think I needed to go head-first on a concrete floor - that too in the BATHROOM! - to realize people actually care about me, LOL >.< However, I think I've done considerable damage to my nose; it hurts badly at times, and that affects my whole head, givin' me a killer headache! Dad says it's possible I fractured it during the fall, but since I can't stand the 'white coats', we left it at that. I had a bump on it from before, but now I have this dent, plus a red line to add to the decoration. I'm just glad nothing serious happened..
Anyway, I have more to say...but I'll end this post here for now. I'll probably come back in a couple of days to rant about something else like a mad woman! But that's all for now...
Friday, December 14, 2007
The 'Blah' Factor
Salam 3alykm
I'm turning 19 in a couple a days, so basically, I'm fossiliiiized! O_O
Great way to start, innit?
OK, so I'm becoming a socially-isolated nut..slowly but surely. Not that I feel bad about it, lol. Strangely, I'm becoming a loner again...the only difference is that it's by CHOICE this time. Oh well...
So 3eed's right around the corner, yet I'm not in the 'festive' mood. If there was such a mood, then mine would be 'blah'; translates into 'couldn't give a rat's a** about anything' *excuse my language*
I'm neutral these days, but al7amdulillaah no remaining signs of depression left! :D However, the dream I saw today morning screwed my weekend up for me. It shouldn't bother me, considering I've chucked all the excess baggage outta my life...but I remember talking to my bro and he mentioned 'relapse'. I laughed that off, but the thought's scary cuz I know when I relapse, I do more damage then I do in initial stages! Whatever...
So the dream made no sense at all, but I still woke up really pissed. However, since things are all jolly-jolly at home for once *AL7AMDULILLAH!*, I paid little attention to it.
I've gone off poetry these days; must have something with the 'blah' factor. Hell, I can't even write to save my life.
I had a fight with someone close to me, left it off at frayed ends. I'm not apologizing this time though; I've seen the negative effects of saying 'sorry' all the time. Used & abused, then refused. BLAH. I'm seriously not making any effort to work on my friendships, and I don't feel bad about it. I love family life...hate leaving home without 'em! I'm absolutely lovin' the other part of my life; brings out the best in me! <3 :D
3eed= 7enna? We'll see. Might do me good though; give my hands a 'feminine' touch...something they lack BADLY. I need to take care of myself, but yeah...'blah factor'. It's like creams & all that crazy stuff wasn't made for me. I'll use 'em once a month, or twice...depending on how high my 'blah' levels are. *Bloody hell! What the hell am I going on about!? What IS 'blah'?!*
OK, I think I'm done for today. Not much of informative stuff in this post, but yeah...I'm not exactly a live encyclopedia.
I'm turning 19 in a couple a days, so basically, I'm fossiliiiized! O_O
Great way to start, innit?
OK, so I'm becoming a socially-isolated nut..slowly but surely. Not that I feel bad about it, lol. Strangely, I'm becoming a loner again...the only difference is that it's by CHOICE this time. Oh well...
So 3eed's right around the corner, yet I'm not in the 'festive' mood. If there was such a mood, then mine would be 'blah'; translates into 'couldn't give a rat's a** about anything' *excuse my language*
I'm neutral these days, but al7amdulillaah no remaining signs of depression left! :D However, the dream I saw today morning screwed my weekend up for me. It shouldn't bother me, considering I've chucked all the excess baggage outta my life...but I remember talking to my bro and he mentioned 'relapse'. I laughed that off, but the thought's scary cuz I know when I relapse, I do more damage then I do in initial stages! Whatever...
So the dream made no sense at all, but I still woke up really pissed. However, since things are all jolly-jolly at home for once *AL7AMDULILLAH!*, I paid little attention to it.
I've gone off poetry these days; must have something with the 'blah' factor. Hell, I can't even write to save my life.
I had a fight with someone close to me, left it off at frayed ends. I'm not apologizing this time though; I've seen the negative effects of saying 'sorry' all the time. Used & abused, then refused. BLAH. I'm seriously not making any effort to work on my friendships, and I don't feel bad about it. I love family life...hate leaving home without 'em! I'm absolutely lovin' the other part of my life; brings out the best in me! <3 :D
3eed= 7enna? We'll see. Might do me good though; give my hands a 'feminine' touch...something they lack BADLY. I need to take care of myself, but yeah...'blah factor'. It's like creams & all that crazy stuff wasn't made for me. I'll use 'em once a month, or twice...depending on how high my 'blah' levels are. *Bloody hell! What the hell am I going on about!? What IS 'blah'?!*
OK, I think I'm done for today. Not much of informative stuff in this post, but yeah...I'm not exactly a live encyclopedia.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
A New Life
Salam 3alykm
Couple a days ago, I made a pretty stupid move, but then it's OK...I blame my high fever :p
I said some things which I didn't mean, namely, life is pretty much down-hill. NOOOO, it soooo iiis NOT! Life is beeeeaaaauuuutiiiiifuuul <3
I love life as it is now, cuz I'm starting afresh! I'm finally over whatever happened in the past, and I'm lovin' myself basically! LOL, major step for moi, but yesssss....OVER OVER OVER! Everything is just going smoothly for now, al7amdulillaah! My past is full of experiences, and I won't classify them as good or bad. Experiences. Period.
I'm turning 19 in a couple of days, and I'm dyyyiiiiing with anticipation; can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me! I hope next year's better - spiritually & religion-wise - than this year! No more subjecting myself to self-torture; one year was ENOUGH. I'm just soo happy right now al7amdulillaah! 2008..I plan to do EVERYTHING differently; and some things are just completely OUTTA my life for GOOD.
This is a short post, for ONCE! :D See, I wasn't lying when I told you I plan to do things differently! :p
Couple a days ago, I made a pretty stupid move, but then it's OK...I blame my high fever :p
I said some things which I didn't mean, namely, life is pretty much down-hill. NOOOO, it soooo iiis NOT! Life is beeeeaaaauuuutiiiiifuuul <3
I love life as it is now, cuz I'm starting afresh! I'm finally over whatever happened in the past, and I'm lovin' myself basically! LOL, major step for moi, but yesssss....OVER OVER OVER! Everything is just going smoothly for now, al7amdulillaah! My past is full of experiences, and I won't classify them as good or bad. Experiences. Period.
I'm turning 19 in a couple of days, and I'm dyyyiiiiing with anticipation; can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me! I hope next year's better - spiritually & religion-wise - than this year! No more subjecting myself to self-torture; one year was ENOUGH. I'm just soo happy right now al7amdulillaah! 2008..I plan to do EVERYTHING differently; and some things are just completely OUTTA my life for GOOD.
This is a short post, for ONCE! :D See, I wasn't lying when I told you I plan to do things differently! :p
Friday, November 23, 2007
Peaceful
Salam 3alykm,
I'm happy, al7amdulillaah. It feels wonderful; my heart's at ease. I don't feel like bursting into tears 24/7, which is amazing really! I don't know what brought this change, but I've decided there's really no point in complaining about those things I don't have. Our lives are balanced; we always have something in compensation for what we don't have....and al7amdulillah I've realized that! Either that, or I'm feeling extra philosophical now :p
Yesterday, my professor said something which really made sense! We complain day & night, whether it be about our work/study surroundings, or personal lives. How does that help us? I think it just puts more stress on a person to think of all the negative aspects of life; it's tested & certified! Instead of wasting our time complaining, why don't we think of solutions to the problem?! Agreed, there are some things that don't really have a solution, but that's when you can wreck your brain trying to think of it's compensation :p
I just remembered, my mom's friend wanted me to give a small talk to a bunch'a 'teenies' for her daughter's 'sweet sixteen'. I'm supposing that passed off in the duration we had traveled, so al7amdulillah I was spared! Teens are major rebels; kudos to my parents for dealing with me while I was in the rebellious phase..I was terrible! Attire didn't really matter when it came to me; music and lack of 3ibadeh though...was at its climax! Smoking, sheesha, & drugs all disgusted me, so my parents were lucky! I remember talking to a couple of this girl's friends..lets just say Allah bestowed me with tolerance at the right time, w lillaah el7md!
I know I'm not an angel, but it really aggravates me seeing the condition of Muslims these days. Is it because I see a vague reflection of what I used to be? Wallaahu a3lam. Sometimes I think maybe I'm being a hypocrite by talking all religious, then I stop for a while. I guess it just proves that our Iman level does fluctuate! I've noticed, when I'm in the company of those way better than me, I feel really 'pious', and want to correct myself...bes youm aseer eluni, Allah yster. Half the times, I miss my prayers..end up praying them really late! I think, " ok, inshalla will sit in the masjid w read Qur2aan during my free time", bes I end up fil labs, aimlessly whiling away time! It's a sad situation walla; I wish I had someone asking me persistently 'did you pray/read Qur2aan today?' I need someone to keep warning me walla, cuz in uni, no one really cares! We all need that, and that's why they say that your company matters BIG TIME! The day you decide to befriend those people that are far away from their Deen, that's when you throw yourselves in the hands of Shay6aan! It happened with me, so I know it very well...
What hurts me the most, is missing Fajr everyday. I know my day would be infinite times better if I prayed Fajr right on time, and there's no one to blame but myself for that. I can't say that I try, because setting an alarm 2 hours before Fajr isn't enough. It's obvious if I sleep at 3 or 4, there's NO WAY I'll make it for Fajr! They say when you love someone, you'll automatically get up from the deepest sleep when they call your name; does it mean my heart is void of Allah's love?:'( Sb7anallaah, I know people who wake up right at the sound of the Athaan! Forget that, they wake up right at the time for Tahajjud..regardless of the time they went to sleep! This shows their love for Allah! How fortunate are those who spend their nights in sujood while the rest spend theirs sleeping...may Allah make me one of the former, Ameen :'(
It's now time for 39r, so I better wrap this post up. I always say, the best thing is to get married to a person who'll persuade you to do 3ibadeh at all times! At the times that their level of Iman is low, you support them & help push them towards Allah....and vice versa! May Allah bless us all with righteous spouses, Ameen.
Our future is in our hands; we can either make it or break it. But when our bodies are laid down to rest & all our loved ones walk away leaving us all alone, we reach a point of no return...no looking back. It's either a pass or fail...Jannah or Jahannam.
May Allah save us all from 3thaab el 8br, and join us all in Jannatl Firdous under his Ra7ma & ne3m, Ameen.
I'm happy, al7amdulillaah. It feels wonderful; my heart's at ease. I don't feel like bursting into tears 24/7, which is amazing really! I don't know what brought this change, but I've decided there's really no point in complaining about those things I don't have. Our lives are balanced; we always have something in compensation for what we don't have....and al7amdulillah I've realized that! Either that, or I'm feeling extra philosophical now :p
Yesterday, my professor said something which really made sense! We complain day & night, whether it be about our work/study surroundings, or personal lives. How does that help us? I think it just puts more stress on a person to think of all the negative aspects of life; it's tested & certified! Instead of wasting our time complaining, why don't we think of solutions to the problem?! Agreed, there are some things that don't really have a solution, but that's when you can wreck your brain trying to think of it's compensation :p
I just remembered, my mom's friend wanted me to give a small talk to a bunch'a 'teenies' for her daughter's 'sweet sixteen'. I'm supposing that passed off in the duration we had traveled, so al7amdulillah I was spared! Teens are major rebels; kudos to my parents for dealing with me while I was in the rebellious phase..I was terrible! Attire didn't really matter when it came to me; music and lack of 3ibadeh though...was at its climax! Smoking, sheesha, & drugs all disgusted me, so my parents were lucky! I remember talking to a couple of this girl's friends..lets just say Allah bestowed me with tolerance at the right time, w lillaah el7md!
I know I'm not an angel, but it really aggravates me seeing the condition of Muslims these days. Is it because I see a vague reflection of what I used to be? Wallaahu a3lam. Sometimes I think maybe I'm being a hypocrite by talking all religious, then I stop for a while. I guess it just proves that our Iman level does fluctuate! I've noticed, when I'm in the company of those way better than me, I feel really 'pious', and want to correct myself...bes youm aseer eluni, Allah yster. Half the times, I miss my prayers..end up praying them really late! I think, " ok, inshalla will sit in the masjid w read Qur2aan during my free time", bes I end up fil labs, aimlessly whiling away time! It's a sad situation walla; I wish I had someone asking me persistently 'did you pray/read Qur2aan today?' I need someone to keep warning me walla, cuz in uni, no one really cares! We all need that, and that's why they say that your company matters BIG TIME! The day you decide to befriend those people that are far away from their Deen, that's when you throw yourselves in the hands of Shay6aan! It happened with me, so I know it very well...
What hurts me the most, is missing Fajr everyday. I know my day would be infinite times better if I prayed Fajr right on time, and there's no one to blame but myself for that. I can't say that I try, because setting an alarm 2 hours before Fajr isn't enough. It's obvious if I sleep at 3 or 4, there's NO WAY I'll make it for Fajr! They say when you love someone, you'll automatically get up from the deepest sleep when they call your name; does it mean my heart is void of Allah's love?:'( Sb7anallaah, I know people who wake up right at the sound of the Athaan! Forget that, they wake up right at the time for Tahajjud..regardless of the time they went to sleep! This shows their love for Allah! How fortunate are those who spend their nights in sujood while the rest spend theirs sleeping...may Allah make me one of the former, Ameen :'(
It's now time for 39r, so I better wrap this post up. I always say, the best thing is to get married to a person who'll persuade you to do 3ibadeh at all times! At the times that their level of Iman is low, you support them & help push them towards Allah....and vice versa! May Allah bless us all with righteous spouses, Ameen.
Our future is in our hands; we can either make it or break it. But when our bodies are laid down to rest & all our loved ones walk away leaving us all alone, we reach a point of no return...no looking back. It's either a pass or fail...Jannah or Jahannam.
May Allah save us all from 3thaab el 8br, and join us all in Jannatl Firdous under his Ra7ma & ne3m, Ameen.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Happy, Al7amdulillaah!:D
Salam 3alykm :D
Yeah, I'm grinning like an idiot right now while typing out this post; life has suddenly taken a woooonderfuuul U-turn, Al7amdulillaah!:D My life's been absolutely GREAT starting from the end of Friday, Allah ybarek w yzeeeeeeeeed the surprises w happiness, Ameeeeeeeeeeeen :D
1. We all went to the international motor show on saturday, & I fell in love over & over again!(L)
2. I also got my NEW FONE on Saturday...a NOKIA 5700! :D It's amaaaziiin...looove my new baby(L)
3. The best thing that's happened to me: I got permission for contact lenses todaayyyyy!!! I'm sooo incrediblyyy haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppyyyy...*jumps up & down with glee*
Let's hope Bu 3eesa's not too far away either, eh?;) THAT would just send me to cloud 9! :D OMG, Nov 2007 is the BEST month of my entire life...which is sooo ironic since the end of Nov 2006 was pretty much HELLISH! Sb7anallaah, walla don't know WHAT I've done to deserve such amazing surprises, lillaah el7md wesh shekr! (L)
However, the insignificant down-side of my life is...I'm loooooooaded with uni work; I don't think I'll be sleeping much 'til the finals! However, I'm just waaaayyyy toooo happy to think about that right now :D Notice all the smileys I'm usin'?!
I'm lovin' all those who are reading this right now, LOL...yep, even if you're a stranger! Ask me for anything now, and I'll gladly execute your commands :p *Although I know the only one who actually bothers to read my blog is....LOL...*this sounds so damn pathetiiic* Me, Myself, & I =$
I could just kiss the next person who walks into my room senseless, LOL! *A family member only though!*
Aaaaaaahhhhh....life!(L) Sb7anallaah, we rarely express our feelings towards the benefits in life; all my posts are sooo friggin' depressing! I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove my...loved ones? xD OMG I'm just soo very happy for words!
Bu 3eesa should come into my life right about now, and he'll be one extremely happy guy, LOL! Cuz Um 3eesa is just knocked senseless with happiness! :D
Yeah, I'm grinning like an idiot right now while typing out this post; life has suddenly taken a woooonderfuuul U-turn, Al7amdulillaah!:D My life's been absolutely GREAT starting from the end of Friday, Allah ybarek w yzeeeeeeeeed the surprises w happiness, Ameeeeeeeeeeeen :D
1. We all went to the international motor show on saturday, & I fell in love over & over again!(L)
2. I also got my NEW FONE on Saturday...a NOKIA 5700! :D It's amaaaziiin...looove my new baby(L)
3. The best thing that's happened to me: I got permission for contact lenses todaayyyyy!!! I'm sooo incrediblyyy haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppyyyy...*jumps up & down with glee*
Let's hope Bu 3eesa's not too far away either, eh?;) THAT would just send me to cloud 9! :D OMG, Nov 2007 is the BEST month of my entire life...which is sooo ironic since the end of Nov 2006 was pretty much HELLISH! Sb7anallaah, walla don't know WHAT I've done to deserve such amazing surprises, lillaah el7md wesh shekr! (L)
However, the insignificant down-side of my life is...I'm loooooooaded with uni work; I don't think I'll be sleeping much 'til the finals! However, I'm just waaaayyyy toooo happy to think about that right now :D Notice all the smileys I'm usin'?!
I'm lovin' all those who are reading this right now, LOL...yep, even if you're a stranger! Ask me for anything now, and I'll gladly execute your commands :p *Although I know the only one who actually bothers to read my blog is....LOL...*this sounds so damn pathetiiic* Me, Myself, & I =$
I could just kiss the next person who walks into my room senseless, LOL! *A family member only though!*
Aaaaaaahhhhh....life!(L) Sb7anallaah, we rarely express our feelings towards the benefits in life; all my posts are sooo friggin' depressing! I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove my...loved ones? xD OMG I'm just soo very happy for words!
Bu 3eesa should come into my life right about now, and he'll be one extremely happy guy, LOL! Cuz Um 3eesa is just knocked senseless with happiness! :D
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sick & Tired
Salam 3alykm,
...And it's funny how I'm back again; blogging. Sitting in uni, feeling incredibly sick. My throat hurts so much that my eyes keep welling up with tears...SISSSIIIEE i know! >.<
...And it's funny how I'm back again; blogging. Sitting in uni, feeling incredibly sick. My throat hurts so much that my eyes keep welling up with tears...SISSSIIIEE i know! >.<
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I hurt my wrist right now, have this reeally bad habit of cracking my wrists. I'm happy it's the left one; won't need it much. Waiting for 7pm to come so the dreary Stats II class can start, and end at a painful 830. Last class I kept dozing off in between; I couldn't help it! I'm so KO'd at the end of the day...I need a major break!
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For some strange reason, I cried myself to sleep last night..I'm one miserable chick! It doesn't feel right, really. How can something so flawless be a curse? It just doesn't make sense! I neeeed a distraction from life badly. I'm trying to get on with life as sanely as possible, but there's very little one can do when their mind's preoccupied and under stress all the time!
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I can't believe some things people do to others in life; don't they know what goes around comes around? Anyway, looks like Dad's trying his best to get Grannie here; all she can talk about is my marriage! Sometimes I feel like a bride, as stupid as that sounds! Spoke to her today and she's like, " Why don't you look for someone? " I just laughed it off, but Mami got horrified..LOL. She thinks I'm like the rest of them; putting off marriage as much as I can. But no, I'm waaayyy different; would gladly 'leave the nest' tonight if possible! Marriage, marriage, marriage...that's all people can talk about these days! The hottest topic that people come up with when I'm around, "When you getting married, hon?" GODD!!! Does it look like I bloody know?! Seriously, I feel like a machine at times; wake up, study 3elm & then head off to uni. Study some more there, then head back home. Day in and day out...that's my routine. So anyway, Grannie's like " Your Grandad passed away, and he didn't see any of his grandchildren married." That kinda hurt...but it's not in our hands! I know he always wanted to be there to see our weddings. I remember when I was 17, he used to sit on the dinner table and plan away my marriage with my eldest bro! [Allah yj3el gabreh ro'9a min ryaa'9 eljannah...Ameen]
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2nd year on with these dreadful glasses; they're really getting on my nerves now! So, yesterday I brought up the subject of lenses again...but only ended up frustrated & nearly in tears...cuz my Dad wouldn't take me seriously! Sub7anallaah, today he calls from work & goes like, " Set up an appointment with the eye specialist in elM'3reby. We'll see him regarding your contacts!" I was dumbfounded for a minute or two, then ran around frantically trying to get an appropriate day! =D Anyway, I hope all goes well Inshalla; will be seeing the Doc next Sunday..!
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It's funny how I'm always on the verge of tears! I disgust myself; so bloody emotional! >.<>barely shed a tear, and now...the waterworks turn on by themselves! Whenever I feel frustrated & helpless, I hide away from the rest of the world...and sob my heart out..
How friggin' LAME.
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A lot of weirdness going on these days...guys calling me up, or adding me on MSN! So far, I haven't found the need to go up to big bro to get rid of 'em...I scare them away with my m6aw3a-ness. -.- Bunch'a desperados looking for a quick hook-up. Allah yhdeehm w yhdeena jmee3n
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My love just keeps growing for them by the dayyy; they HAAAAAAAAVE to be family someday! So amazingly mesmerizing!
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My throat is really killing me; without any exaggeration, I feel like my insides are enflamed, est'3firullah! I should really do something about my miserable state; I'm putting myself through unecessary self-torture. Life can be so painful at times, it's unbelievable...
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A'aight, I'm out now...heading to the masjid for some peace & tranquility. Thikrullaah is like a tranquilizer: instills peace in one's heart & erases all existing worries & hardships.
Al7amdulillaah 3la n3met el Islam <3
Friday, November 9, 2007
Survivin'
Salam 3alykm,
Had I known divorcing forums & MSN would've been so beneficial, I would've done it AGES ago! Anyway, I just noticed the day today...I thought I wouldn't be able to get through October this year, cuz of the memories, but turns out Oct 2007 was worse! I've started going in his room now, but only cuz the mirror's there...can't bring myself to look at any of his things! I can't help remembering the memories he's left us with; sometimes it helps pretending he's still in the hospital...
Had I known divorcing forums & MSN would've been so beneficial, I would've done it AGES ago! Anyway, I just noticed the day today...I thought I wouldn't be able to get through October this year, cuz of the memories, but turns out Oct 2007 was worse! I've started going in his room now, but only cuz the mirror's there...can't bring myself to look at any of his things! I can't help remembering the memories he's left us with; sometimes it helps pretending he's still in the hospital...
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So I told mama a lot of what she'd missed regarding my uneventful life couple a days ago; she actually guessed it! She looked really worried when I confirmed her doubt, so I told her I didn't have any hopes at all. I don't really; it was all just a miscalculation born from confusion on both parts, that's all. What sucks is though, I just realized NOW what month we're in..Nov. Tryin' to get rid of the memories that push through annoyingly...stiiill tryin'..
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Argh, it's so goddamn HARD! The thought is soo tempting, but I made myself proud couple a days ago..I HAD to do it; couldn't go on faking something like that! It actually is existent, but not under those circumstances, NO FRIGGIN' WAY. Someone told me I'm heartless couple a days ago, and the funny thing is...I couldn't deny it. Yeah, heartless..
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I now feel like an outcast in uni too..hate it, hate it, hate it. I'm not paranoid...I'm just unwanted. Plain & simple; U-N-W-A-N-T-E-D. I thought maybe I'm at fault, but naah...I can never fit in with the rest of them. It's all good...I'm survivin'. They suggested using my miserable voice for Cultural Day...I'm thinkin' of pulling out. Can't be responsible for the nightmares all the guys will have after that night, uh uh; specially the VIPs. Besides, I don't wanna have anything to do with any damn love stories; I've seen too many hearts break for fake love. I'd rather jump in with a buncha great white sharks.
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I'm noticing my posts are increasingly becoming irrelevant to Deen as the days go by. I'm tired of all the blame & controversies; layin' low from now on..
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I'm randomizing...and it feels good. I'm feelin' really tired now...dammit! Another memory of the 'doomed' days of 2006 just flashed by. Anyway...hopefully I'll crawl up & die sometime before 2008; do the world a major favor! God...I've hit the climax of loser-dom.
Latest news? My bed broke, so now I'm sleeping on the floor. It's not fair; I certainly as hell didn't have anything to do with it, so why am I on the floor?! Oh well, it's all good; so damn worn out, I KO as soon as my head hits the pillow. Oh, Nadz came over today...and we had a blast! Her quote " There aren't a lotta people I know that deserve you" had us both laughing like escapists from a mental asylum. The quote makes me feel like a bloody curse, lol. The best part of the day was her mental image of my future husband, & our 'mansion'. According to her, I'm marrying some melt7y guy, who has girlie eyes, LOL. OH, shes definitely not coming anywhere remotely close to me with make-up! I already told her she's not doing my hair on my wedding..not unless my husband wants a PUNK as a bride! However, she's free to design my home...on her expense!:p Aah, love the ol' girl...my sister from another mother...<3
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I'm randomizing...and it feels good. I'm feelin' really tired now...dammit! Another memory of the 'doomed' days of 2006 just flashed by. Anyway...hopefully I'll crawl up & die sometime before 2008; do the world a major favor! God...I've hit the climax of loser-dom.
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