Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Life: A Project?

Salam 3lykm

A student asked the following question on our Project Management forum online: Do you consider your life a project? And who's really managing it?

Allah yjzeeh kil 5ayr fdnya wl A5ira, lena the brother doesn't know it, but I was feeling severely depressed, and close to giving up on life. He doesn't know it, but he actually got me thinking, and once I started, my brain kicked into over-drive. This was my response, and needless to say...I am feeling happy and content yet once again, و هذا من فضل ربي

اللهم لك الحمد كمــا ينبغــي لجلال وجهك وعظيم سلطــانك

Essalam Alykm,

Interesting question...

From the way I see it - yes, life is a project. Let me show you - by using the definition from the book - how exactly it is a project.

A project is a complex, non-routine, one-time effort limited by time, budget, resources, and performance specifications designed to meet customer needs.

I'm going to adopt a realistic and religious approach over here, supporting each claim with examples.

1. Complex: Life is complex - there are ups and downs ,and sometimes it can get SO complex, that it gets out of people's hands, so they end it..thinking that would end all complexity, but instead, they just make things worse for themselves. No matter the age a person is in, he/she will inevitably face obstacles in life, even if those may seem like the total opposite when he/she grows older. E.g. An infant gets frustrated when it can't take the wrapper off a candy; a child gets frustrated when he/she cannot convince his/her elders to buy him/her something he/she really wants; an adult gets frustrated when he/she cannot find a job to support the family. These are all forms of complexities at different stages in life.

2. Non-routine: You cannot say that everyday is the same. Realistically speaking, you might get up, get ready, go to work/university, attend classes, come home, etc. but everyday something new DOES happen. E.g.you learn something new everyday; you come across many new situations everyday even if your environment stays the same, etc.

3. One-time effort: You make it or you break it. You have one life, and in that, you are the one that works towards either success or failure. You can either follow the 'rules and regulations', not break any constraints, not disobey the One who gives you all the Commands, and attain total success...or you can do all the opposite, and lead yourself down the path of failure. The measurement of your achievement (work and effort) are your deeds (A'maal); your progress is mirrored in the lifestyle you live; the Evaluator/Judge of whether your 'project' (your life) was a success or a failure is Allah.

4. Limited by time: We are not immortals - everything that has been created will end, and so will our lives. Our beginning is when the clot forms ('Alaq), right down to the time with the Angel of Death seizes our soul at the Command of His Creator.

5. Budget & Resources: This is our 'Rizq', or all that which has been provided to us. It IS limited too - it is one of the five things that are written down when life is breathed into the soul of the fetus. We are only going to get how much is written down for us - no more, no less. With this provision, we are supposed to work our way to our project's success - and like I already mentioned, we are the ones who decide the 'allocation of our resources'. E.g. We spend our resources for lawful means -> our resources are WELL USED and contribute to our project's success. We spend resources for unlawful means -> our resources are WASTED, and that contributes to our project's failure. Remember - we have limited time and resources, which means both are valuable. Losing either one of them could contribute to the failure of our project.

6. Performance Specifications: namely, this is our Faith (Iman) and piety (Taqwa). The stronger our faith is, and the more pious we are, the higher our 'performance' will be, leading to the success of our project. Similarly, the weaker our faith, and the less pious we are, the resulting lower performance levels will reduce our chances of success. Keep in mind that our faith is never constant; its strength is always fluctuating (changing) because of our changing surroundings and 'distractions' (Fitn) or obstacles (Shaytaan - the Cursed Devil)

7. ...designed to meet customer needs: here is where there is a conflict. We cannot say or even think for an instant that Allah can be labeled as a customer - (Wel 'Iyath Billah) Allah Forbid! Neither can we use the word 'need', as He is The All-Mighty who is in need of nothing. However, we can still maintain the meaning by exchanging the word 'customer' with 'Creator', and 'need' with 'commands'. Thus, it makes perfect sense - indeed, our life must be 'designed' in accordance with the Commands of Allah, to reach the Ultimate Success.

I have covered all the characteristics of a project, save one: the involvement of several departments and professionals. Again, this is found in life - the people we associate with, our elders, life partners, etc. signify different departments; doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. signify the professionals.

This is exactly how I view life, and since religion is the backbone of life - you cannot do without it - I could not think of a better way to support my statements. Hopefully, you might even find this helpful in remembering the definition of a project for the exams!wink

Wes Salam Alykm w Rahmatullahi T'ala w Barakateh

Friday, October 30, 2009

حب المجاهدين

Salam 3lykm,

I'm back...with a topic that I LOVE to talk about, and people hate..lil2asaf eshadeed. How I wish... from the depth of my heart, that...ريلي بيكون مجاهد...or at LEAST..support them and WANT to be one of them...not curse them, and make himself the target of Allah's Wrath...just like SO MANY people out there are doing in deliberate ignorance, wel 3iyaath billaah.

Sometimes, I regret not having studied medicine like I was supposed to - I could have followed in the footsteps of those 9a7abiyaat who tended to the injured Mujahideen. At least I could have gained some Ajr to wipe out the countless sins I've collected over the years...Al7mdulillaah 3a kil 7aal...

A poem...written at a time when I couldn't think, study, eat, or sleep - I only had one thing on my mind and that was a word feared by all; a word that makes the Kuffaar squirm in their places with unease; and has them perspiring, tossing sleeplessly at night in their beds, and on the edge with fear during the day. That word is - Jihad.

Yes, what are you going to do about it? Has your level of cowardice reached its climax, that it would force you to lock up a 21 year old female who freaks out...merely at the sight of roaches? *Sadly, it's the bitter truth..don't laugh!-.-xD* I'm not scared of them - they just look...not so friendly with those lethal antennae of theirs!*hmph!* OK, all jokes aside...*no...I just don't like creepy crawlies, that's all!*

All jokes aside, I frankly couldn't give a petrified and fossilized woolly mammoth's POSTERIOR *Censhorship in its BEST form!;P* if the authorities don't like what they see here. You can torture us, blow our brains out, or throw us ALIVE from choppers flying at high altitudes..but you will NEVER be able to rid our hearts of our FAITH.

Here's something I wrote, and I know I could have done better...probably could have added more too...but...this shall have to do for now! Inshalla, I plan to write a poem on them in Arabic - no English involved at all. I don't know when...but yeah, I already have the first two lines! *NO, I'm NOT sharing 'em under ANY circumstances! xD* Comments appreciated, as well as criticism - as ALWAYS ^_^

...I can't begin to explain
I'm at a loss for words...
This love is driving me insane
People look at me like I'm absurd

So determined; so fearless
One goal drives them all
They've left the most powerful governments distressed
& brought so many others their humiliating downfall

So innocent; so handsome
Oblivious..to even the most exotic women of this world
Soldiers of the One who reigns over His Supreme Kingdom
Courageous fighters whose victory in A7adeeth has been foretold

Truly worthy of praise
Yet victims of criticism
Some leave behind luxurious lifestyles & heedless days
Realizing this world's Kuffaar's ONLY Paradise, as it is Muslims' prison

Given the Word of Victory
Helped by the Unseen
Faced by a repetition of our Aslaf's history
Warriors that surrender not 'til their last breath...
Al Mujahideen

فستذكرون ما أقول لكم و أفوض أمري إلى الله و الله بصير بالعباد

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh



و الله صدقت يا شهيد بإذن الله

Friday, October 23, 2009

Quick Update!

Salam 3lykm

First off, I'd just like to thank all my 'Loyal Readers' - without you, this blog wouldn't exist! ^_^ 15 mashalla - Allah ybarek w yzeeeed (A) ;P

6ayeb, I came back from Pakistan a few days ago - on Monday, I think? =S Walla life very hectic, fa can't remember a LOT these days! It's freaky - haven't even turned 21 yet, and I've got the memory WORSE of that of a goldfish!-.- A lot of stories, VERY LIL TIME, unfortunately! xD

Just wanted to mention I'm still alive and kickin'..and from the increasin' number of loyal readers, I guess this blog is, too!;P

Jzakm Allah 5ayr ^_^

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh!

Friday, October 2, 2009

اللحية

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته
This IS my first ever post in Arabic, about a subject that's never failed to bug the life outta me, and a reason why I stopped going out completely for a couple of months...cuz the lack of it literally threw me down a spiral of depression every time I did go out..

Inspired by a post I read, titled فديت لحيتك يا مطوع

at7ar6am bes..who would bother to listen anyway?! NO ONE has, so far..w it's mega-short, lena..its in Arabic of course!:P

اللحية زينة الرجال...عرفوني على الحمار اللي اخترع السكسوكه لو سمحتوا...أكبر فاشل في العالم كله!!! فديت لحيتك يا مطوع...الله يكثر من أمثالك...اللهم سهل إتباع هذه السنة الجميلة -سنة الحبيب محمد صلى الله عليه و سلم على إخواننا المسلمين - آمين

يالسه أطلع اللي ف خاطري...و اللي مب عيبنه يطق راسه ف أقرب حيط >.<

و السلام عليكم و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته

PS. Go lenient on me if there are any mistakes - usin' 3ammiya :P Unfortunately, using Arablish isn't the best idea - what I've written looks SO foreign to my OWN eyes, even though I spend more than half the day speaking like this! xD

Friday, September 25, 2009

Inconsolable

Salam 3lykm

Here's something I wrote at about 130AM today..these were my raw, unedited thoughts, so they will seem jumbled up and repeated. All in the name of therapy.

How do you comfort your heart and tell it 'Everything will be okay', when things have been shitty for the past few years? Can you keep lying to yourself, and remain hidden under the protective covers you've tried to take shelter underneath? Will fake consolation do the trick, or will your heart figure out one day, that everything was just one big lie? How can you lie to yourself and get away with it? Sometimes, it's hard to comfort the heart, because the mind knows exactly what's going on...and it rebels against falsehood. When it overrides the heart, it usually results in a battle where you're left damaged; torn between your heart and mind.

Sometimes you just want to give up everything you're doing, and wait patiently for death with your arms open wide in embrace, but people around you won't let you do that. At times, the mere action of breathing hurts so much, and you just wish there was a cord to life which you could pull. No one understands; some call you crazy, others get unnecessarily worried, and a few just wouldn't give a damn even if you jumped off a building.

No one can see just how eroded your insides are. You're like a raw wound covered with a pretty bandage; no one can see the ugly brutality hidden underneath. No medicine has affected you for years; pain killers comfort you temporarily, but the wound still remains as raw as ever.

Sometimes, it hurts so much - like someone is trying to extend the wound with a blunt object dipped in acid. You've cried so much that your eyes now remain dry; your heart has bled dry; your soul alive on life support...waiting impatiently for its time.

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Mbarkn 3eedkm! *Belated!*

Salam Allah 3lykm!

Hope y'all had a blast during 3eed - I celebrated mine to the MAX, in Madinat Er Rasool صلى الله عليه و سلم!=D Nothing could get better than this Rama'9an; I spent it with the people I love the MOST, and who I pray day and night, will soon become family, Inshalla.

Al7mdella I was in KSA from the 14th of Rama'9an - last 10 days were spent in Madinah. Surprisingly, this time the proposals were in full swing - marriage and WORK, too! xD E3temerna twice, bi fa'9lillaah - the 2nd time was HAAAARD, I must admit - daytime + while fasting! but it was SO TOTALLY worth it!=D

No, I didn't come back hitched as Mom had hoped I would :P but I certainly did come back a whole lot more happier than I went, and that's ALL that really matters!=D I was also teased a whole lot by everyone there because of the proposals; my aunt said I shouldn't remove my N8ab in the women's section either, because females are lookin' out for matches for their males!xD She's forgotten her daughters' beauty -both outter AND inner - exceeds mine!

I have a LOT of stories from the trip, but unfortunately..I'm not much of a blogger anymore..:P so this short update will have to do...for now! My sleeping pattern has flipped oh so very much that you'd think I've just come back from the States, not KSA:P

Ed3ooly please, I'm going to Pakistan shortly for exams, and I've already taken 2 weeks off uni for this 3mra trip...but like I always say: TOTALLY worth it!=D Uni starts Saturday...and YES..they've taken my weekend and screwed life up for me, yet ONCE again..bes ma3alaih..just two more semesters til I walk outta uni doors with a degree to show for my hard work!=D

As for poems...ya never know, this 'nocturnalness' might inspire me!;P

Until next time,

Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Rebirth of Love

Salam 3lykm

Yes, a new POEM!:D Long time, eh?! I didn't know I STILL had it in me, but since I've not written in ages, comments would be GREATLY appreciated!

The Rebirth of Love

Rays of hope spill over darkness

Yet a particular uncertainty still looms

She who was once left heartless

Then looked at love as a path to doom


The once magical words now became an eternal curse

She saw not the crimson roses, but the prickly thorns

She welcomed death as she hadn’t felt any pain as worse

As that because of which her own birth she’d mourn


She had stepped up a little closer to the flames to keep warm

Instead, they leapt up and engulfed her whole

Little did she know it would cause irreversible damage and harm

To her seemingly stable mind and immortal soul


Her screams were drowned by the roaring flames

A putrid smell of charred flesh filled the air

There was no one else other than herself to blame

As she had voluntary taken the steps towards the hellish lair..


She shudders at the morbidity of her own thoughts

And stares at the blossoming roses outside

While she musters up all the courage she’s got

To whisper a reality she had for long denied:


‘I Love You.’

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Alive & Kickin' - a Miracle...or a CURSE?:P

Salam 3lykm

No no, I didn't die in Pakistan or anything, w lillaah el7md..I've just been really caught up with life! I also have not been in the mood for blogging, and I seem to have lost all interest in poetry now! In fact, I haven't written anything since..hmm...Feb? I'll probably keep it that way - poetry gives me bitter-sweet memories, most of which I'd love to forget.

El muhem, soo...a lot has been going on in life - waaayed ups and downs, bes al7mdella all good. I had my driving THEORY exam on Sunday, and passed with flying colors: 34/35!:D Surprising, 'cuz I hadn't slept a WINK the night before xD Yeah, so I was let loose on the streets of AD - and judgin from the HORRENDOUS way I drove, AD streets ain't goin' to be safe no more!:P So y'all drivin' em flashy wheels, stay CLEEEAR away from me..or your babies are goin' to be dented & scratched in all possible places!xD The thing that terrifies the LIFE outta me is the final road test; 2 policemen in the car - one in the back seat, and one in the passenger seat! One was enough, dammit! I get nervy & jumpy around examiners, anyway!>.<
Back-trackin' to when I came back from Lahore: as soon as I got back, I suddenly went under a 7-day 'house-wife trainee' course, and I actually COOKED dinner*twice in those 7 days xD* which people ATE without getting food poisoning!*Mno gady?:P* Mom had gone to Karachi to meet her Mom & siblings...OH, not to mention...I also had a VERY CRAZY, 5 yr old to take care of...she kept my hands FULL! xD So yeah...it made me realize...I don't really like kids once they're beyond the age of 3 yrs old! I keep tellin' my Mom and friends I'll give mine up for adoption once they cross 3, and they all smirk at me and say, 'You won't have the HEART to do such a thing!' and 'yeah yeah, we'll see when the time comes!' *Believe me, people...it won't kill ya!xD*

Movin' on to the weather here --> Hot and oh-so-bloody-HUMID! UNBEARABLE >.< I passed out in my last driving class, and we still don't know why...it was an embarrassing experience! xD However, got hospitalized & discovered later on I have anemia! I've been sick for the past month or so now, ever since we got back from Pakistan...and it's become more or less like a joke at home - I've got swine flu:P I kinda got scared in between that maybe I really DO have it now, but even though I've been sick for a while now, I'm still functioning normally...whatever that might mean! xD The only thing is my voice has been fudged up MAJOR - friends and parents are like we've actually forgotten what you sound like when you're NOT sick! 3la kil 7aal Al7mdella! xD

Besides all that, got into a couple of uncomfortable situations - very stressful, too - bes all cleared out, w lillaah el7md. Ygooloon whatever goes around, comes around...and I didn't really believe in it SO STRONGLY for EVERYTHING. Bes walla...my experience has been such that...I now think three times before I do something. Walla y5awwef..! Currently...I've found contentment and peace of mind al7mdella. Here's hopin' it sticks around..! Kan shay amal ena I wouldn't be single by the end of this year....bes yalla ma3alaih - everything happens for a reason, right?

OK, this is a satisfactory update I believe...see you within the next few months or years!xD

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Leaving

Salam 3lykm

Quick post - I'm traveling tomorrow to Lahore for my exams...D3watkom very precious & needed at this time. My return is not guaranteed - if Allah has written death for me, then no one can delay it...thus, if I've wronged anyone intentionally or unintentionally, please forgive me.

Expected arrival back home: 25th July, and if you don't hear from me for a few days after, please start praying for my M'3firah..

Jazakm Allah 5ayr

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A Therapeutic Rant

Salam 3lykm

How are y'all doin' doing? Looks like someone out there hates seeing me happy, which would explain the roller-coaster ride of a life I have. Awel shay, work is going great, al7mdella. I'm actually lookin' forward to it...anything to get outta here..

As I write, my left arm is throbbin' crazily with pain, and so is my head. Let's just say...I got 'roughened' up...I feel nauseated, and extremely hopeless. I was fighting with parents about not going to Pakistan this July...but now I say to hell with it. Lemme go...hopefully I'll get shot or something...the worst case is I'll die. It's not like I have anyone who'll mourn my death, right? Right. The reason I didn't want to go is I don't want to get stranded there. I'm not scared of dying in one of the many bomb blasts that are rockin' that country...hell no...no matter how big a munaf8a *hypocrite* I might be, I wish to die the death of a martyr *surprising, eh?* However, the thought of gettin' stranded in Pakistan makes me want to stab myself.

I should be studying right now, but I don't feel like doing anything. I feel so damn hopeless, it's not even funny anymore. What happened today is evidence that what I say holds no worth. I'd think that this whole 'roughening up' would have never happened, but no. I still got blamed. Lovely. Yes, I do realize that I hold no value - just a waste of space and precious oxygen. Would someone like to do the world a favor and suffocate me? 7asbyallah 3el yhood...*I find this more sophisticated than cussin' the life outta..well...life.* No matter how many times I bang my head against the wall, it doesn't make the headache go away. I'm feeling so bloody nauseated...HATE it.

I keep thinking, maybe if I had let it get bloody, I wouldn't have had to hear the blame. Oh, and I was also asked to apologize. Apologize for WHAT, Allah yr'9a 3lykm?? Here's someone who's calling me worse than filth and trash; physically abusing me; and then claiming I'm the one who respects no one. Yes, I'm supposed to respect someone like that...if you're reading this, DREAM ON! Don't worry, I won't tell the world who you are. No, my friend...I beg to differ. My attitude isn't as half as bad as your stuck up one, and I don't go beating weaker people up just 'cuz I GOT THE POWER. You think it scares me? It just shows your true colors. You show the world you're some kind of tolerant, peace-loving creature, whereas you're really a tyrant.

I think I'll stop banging my head in the wall now; I might end up busting it open instead. I've tried 6 panadols on an empty stomach in one go, and nothing happened to me

....How many panadols come in one tab again?

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

PS. I'm hanging from a VERY thin thread right now...forget straw. If this is what you call attention-seeking, so be it. I've done many irrational things before *deleting accounts, etc- it wouldn't hurt adding one more. DON'T TEMPT ME. If you don't like what's written here, I don't give a damn. This is MY domain, and NO ONE is going to tell ME what and what NOT to do here.