Sunday, July 29, 2007


Salam 3laykm,
I feel so uneasy, heavy-hearted, burdened. I just want to burst into tears right now. The fact that I have a throbbing headache doesn't give me any comfort at all. Was studying, couldn't concentrate. I was absolutely fine an hour ago. God...feeling nauseous now...and shivering..
Trying really hard to prevent the waterworks from turning on...
I just got a message from someone who I've being trying to avoid ever since she started her criticism. Allah yhdeeha, she's not like the others. I love the rest so much, and hope one day they'll be part of our family. Amazing bunch...but it's not fair.
It really isn't least she doesn't deserve this. Maybe it'll not happen, but I can't ignore the present. The loveliest amongst them; so much better than everyone I've met. I think this is what's got me feeling this way.
As for me? Anyone who is accepted and gets the green-light from him. If the person spends time in his company...Sub7anallah...that's even better! No one who degrades my family or him in any way..that person will walk himself out the door he came through. They know now, which is more than enough, but I'm afraid no one will take any action.
But do I deserve it, after all I've done? Lured...trapped...and fooled...and what's worse, on the double. The question is: Am I accepted now, or am I still a wanderer lost in the darkness of my sins?

Friday, July 27, 2007

The Truth Revealed

Salam 3alykm,

I will be traveling to Pakistan Inshalla as you all already know, and I assure you things are only going to get worse there. This post is to clarify all the BS the media is trying to feed us all about what really happened in Jami3a 7af9a. You want to know the truth? Ask the Pakistani parents who had children studying there. Ask those parents who don't even know if their sons and daughters are alive anymore. Ask those parents whose tears don't cease, and who spend all their nights with their hands up in du3a. Ask those Pakistanis whose eyes are WIDE OPEN, and who KNOW the reality. No, not those who are sitting in front of the TV 24/7, watching the FILTH that comes from across the borders;Bollywood movies & music. NO, not even the lowlife scum of Hollywood, and the damned to hell LOLLYWOOD. Yes, the Pakistani film industry located in Lahore. I am proud to say, it is an absolute FLOP, which is why the actresses are crossing borders and working in Bollywood.
Prior to this 'raid' on the so-called 'Al Qaeda-affiliated Muslim Seminary', I'm sorry...M5ARREF ordered for 3 mass pits to be dug up in one of the Muslim cemetries in Islamabad, and no1 from the 3awam were allowed there. Police patrols were set up, and 24/7 surveillance covered the area. Yes, these are the same three pits which were used as DUMPING GROUNDS of the burnt-beyond recognition, and bullet-riddled bodies of the 6ulabaa2 and 6aalibaat of Jami3a 7af9a, the biggest Deeni Madressa in Pakistan. Not only that, he didn't even care whether they were females or males; those 6ulabaa2 who's gaze would never fall upon strange women, and those 6aalibaat who'd cover themselves up from HEAD TO TOE, including HANDS & FEET, were thrown in together in mass graves, as if they were disease-riddled animals.(Est'3firullah)
Rasulullaah has said:
من بنى لله مسجدا بنى الله له بيتا في الجنه
What about the person who demolishes Allah's Masaajid? What about that person who tries to stop قال الله تعالى و قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه ?و سلم
Ya turaa...Where is his house being built??
And then the accusations that Shay5 '3azi's brother wore an 3baah and came out, because he was trying to escape; the students were forcefully kept hostage at the hands of these cruel 'Mullahs'; the utter rubbish that the Pakistani army *may Allaah destroy each and every soldier that fired a bullet at my innocent Muslim brothers and sisters* was 'saving' the students from those 'cruel terrorists'; and the ABSOLUTE LIES the government told the world: Asl7a was found in the Madressah. I will open out each accusation and as Allah as my Witness, I can only pray for the destruction of the Filth of Pakistan, ie: M5arref & his KAFIR affiliates. Yes, they are no less than Kuffaar. Every single one of them deserves to burn in the same hell in which Fir3oun, Abu Jahal, Namrud, and their likes will burn. They deserve to drink the same '7ameem' which will scald their faces and cut to pieces their inner organs. These TERRORISTS are the same people who took my mtna8iba sisters and robbed them of their innocence, and then mercilessly KILLED them. These are the same Shaya6een who burned M9aa7ef & copies of 9a7i7 Bu5ari, and trampled their remains with their filthy army boots. May these infidels be trampled on the same way, Ameen.
1. Shay5 3'azi was given the title of '3azi, after attaining victory in the Jihad waged in Chechnya & Af'3anistan. Sub7anallah, he was one who had a clean-shaven face and wore pants and shirts, but Allah Willed for this man to become a fierce, fearless MUjahid, and die in the stuggle against his enemies. How he changed is an amazing story which never fails to bring tears to my eyes whenever it's narrated, but as it will lengthen this post, i shall leave it out. The brothers recieved a phone call from a trusted companion: the Masjid's mu2athin. He claimed: "A special person is here to see you. I cannot tell you who for the fear of telephone lines being tapped, but please come out. However, disguise yourselves. Please wear one of the female students 3baah and come out with one of the women of your house." When Shay5 '3azi came out, female police *there is no word on this world fit to be used for them..I fight with female officials every single time on the airport* were cruelly forcing covered women to reveal themselves, and pulling their n8aabs off. As Shay5 '3azi came out, a female officer stopped him, and of course, a search was done. If my nage9 brain remembers correctly, it was his daughter who claimed: " this is our old aunt, please let us pass. We mean you no harm." As the dogs of the Pakistani Army handcuffed him, he saw the Mu2athin standing alongside 3dow el Islam. He obviously realized it was an evil ploy on their behalf, but was left helpless, and it was the face of his betrayer that he saw, before he was taken to prison. Ya Allah! If these are the a7waal of your Servants now, then please don't let me live to see more
2. The students took a pledge of Shahadah; they're principal Umm Hassaan kept telling them to leave, their teachers begged them to go, but they stood steadfast and said: " By Allah! We will NOT go anywhere! We came here to study and gain 3elm, and if YOU, our learned teachers will stay in this Madressa and DIE in it's premises, then WALLAAH, we shall join you." How strong was the Iman of these brothers and sisters, whose ages ranged from 5 years of age and onwards! Ya Allah! Please make us like them! Each student wrote their will but they were BURNT in the very same fire in which COUNTLESS copies of 9a7i7 Bu5ari perished. They then wrote their wills on their bodies, which the government didn't allow ANYONE to see, loaded them on military trucks, and dumped them in the mass graves that were dug up prior to this evil operation.
3. Soldiers did not save a single student. Those soldiers that refused to lay a hand on our Muslim brothers and sisters, were never seen alive again. Yes, the mal3on had them KILLED. A student who was there at that time reveals: " We heard the stampede and the shouts of the soldiers, and our Mujahid brothers Takbeers grew louder and louder, as they went BARE-HANDED to face their enemies. But suddenly, their voices began to diminish until we heard nothing but the stamping of their boots; that's when we knew that our Mujahid brothers had all fallen, and gained the ranks of Shuhadaa2. They banged on our door and told us that they were our 'brothers', and were here to save us. When they came in, they ordered us to remove our n8aabs. One of us then started to cry, and our principal, Umm Hassaan told us: "DON'T cry in front of them and show them that you're weak; they will only take advantage of you!" Umm 7assaan herself was in tears, but she was staying strong and composed for the rest of the girls. (keep in mind, their were girls aged 10 and younger there) One girl boldly spoke up: " You told us that you were our brothers, and now you are here to rape us and rob us of our innocence?" They did not care. They hauled off each sister, and the cries of the little girls stirred nothing in their hardened hearts, those harder than stone. Yes, these are the accounts of the so-called saviors who ' tried to save the students from the cruel terrorists'.
5. The whole military reached that corner of Islamabad. They used grenades and rockets against our brothers and sisters. They rolled tanks to destroy Jami3a 7af9a, and that American lowlife taunted his slave: " You cannot even clear out such a small area with all your military power?" This was the wonder of those hearts strengthened with Iman. And of course, the Help from the Unseen: the SPECIAL Armies of Allah. For 3 days after they massacred the students of Jami3a 7af9a, NO MEDIA was allowed near the premises. The walls of the Madressa were streaked with the innocent blood of those students, whose sole crime was that they came out of their houses seeking Knowledge of their Deen, wanting to strive & struggle in the way of Ra7maan, and wanting
to learn the Sunnah of Rasulullaah صلى الله عليه و سلم
3 how long they took to wash the evidence of their barbarism, but no matter what they do, they will NEVER be able to wash the hearts of those few survivors who lived the horror. They will NEVER be able to wash those hearts of their Iman. In those 3 days, they drove out military trucks laden with the charred remains of our Shuhadaa2, and they drove those same military trucks in, this time laden with brand new Asl7a, so that they could frame our Muslim brothers and sisters and accuse them of being terrorists.
Oh Filth Of Pakistan! If you want to place a Buhtaan on someone, at least learn how to cover it up properly! The walls of the Madressa were BLACKENED with smoke, absolutely black as ebony! Yet, mashalla....the Asl7a was if BRAND-NEW...LIARS LIARS LIARS! May your lies be uncovered for the whole world to see, and may your face be blackened as you blackened the walls of beloved Jami3a 7af9a!YES! the Kuffaar of Makkah used to claim: He is 'Abter'! (mun8a6e3 el nasl) dont worry, no one will even take his name after his death!*regarding el 7abeeb, mu7ammad صلى الله عليه و سلم
And Islam has spread and is still spreading like wild-fire! SUB7ANALLAH! People are converting everyday in the Western world! Under the very noses of those قردة و الخنازير !
Look at the face of M5arref! I cannot even STAND to set my gaze upon that Shay6aan's face! Even Shay6aan himself must stare in horror at this ml3on's ways!! His face is blackening in this Dnya itself, what will be his state on Youm El 8iyaameh?
He claimed with pride in his interview: My mother was a dancer! The reporter was western of course, and HE went into shock; his eyes wide open, he asked this wart-hog just to make sure he heard correctly, " I beg your pardon, did you say a dancer?!" Not only that, he claimed in his interview: " I cannot sleep without music, and when I wake up, I wake up to the BEAUTIFUL sound of music, and that's how and when I plan my day." NO WONDER!!! So THAT'S how he's messing up a country which was initially built upon لا اله الى الله
Ya 8aatel!! How can you sleep peacefully when your hands are stained with the blood of COUNTLESS 3ulamaa2, Mujaahideen, & Shuhadaa2?! How can you LIVE knowing that you have ruined your A5ira COMPLETELY?

My Dearest Brothers & Sisters, do not believe the BS the media feeds you. It's all in the hands of the Kuffaar; they will never give you the truth. Conditions are not going to get any better; they are just going to get worse and deteriorate. After all, the prophecies of Rasulullaah are all true; '3azwet el hind is not far away. There are countless A7aadeeth which are reinforcing the A7waal of this Dnya today. It is vital that we also strive and seek this knowledge which the Shuhadaa2 of Jami3a 7af9a gave their lives for.

I could not resist typing this up, and despite the condition that follows after re-calling the '6ulm that blanketed 6ulabaa2 w 6aalibaat of Jami3a 7af9a, I stayed up and forced myself to put these words down. We were living in comfort while those brothers and sisters resisted and fought those Kuffaar relentlessly for 8 days. They had no food, no water, nor electricity. They were of around our ages, some even younger, when they finally succumbed to their wounds. On the 9th day, their 5aali8 took them back(إنا لله و إنا إليه راجعون), and now, they are probably enjoying their Eternal Reward

With Allah as my Witness, I end this post, and only Allah knows what will happen after this.
Requesting you all to remember this feeble, ignorant, ungrateful creature in your Ad3iya,
Umm 3eesa

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

A Dedication to my Brothers

salam 3alaykum,
It has been quite a while since I last blogged, and I owe it all to my extremely hectic life!
While I was studying a few days ago - or maybe even weeks, I have completely lost track of time!- memories of the times I shared with my brothers poured in, and kept me distracted for a good whole hour or so! I then picked up my pen, and let it flow...

This first poem is dedicated to the eldest amongst us, M7ammad; a man of his word. Although he can get on your nerves and then gnaw on them relentlessly, I cannot even IMAGINE how empty life would be without him! He's really one-of-a-kind; possesses extremely extraordinary ways of showing how much he loves & cares about you, in other words....e7m...lets just say....I wouldn't want to be the guy's enemy!:p He's shockingly tolerant, and his patience exceeds all bounds. Unfortunately misunderstood by many, this Dnya has not even given him 1/4th of the treatment that he deserves. When I think of all the hardships that have befallen him, this 7deeth always comes to mind:

الدنيا سجن المؤمن و جنة الكافر

May Allah strengthen his Iman fourfold, and may he be with those of the highest ranks on Youm Al Qiyaameh; Ameen

M is for the merriment & joy he never fails to bring
U is for the uniqueness he's always representing
H is for the hope he stirs in people's hearts
A is for the anxiety people face, when with him they do part
is for the model he is for all generations
M is for the countless medals he deserves for his unlimited patience
A is for the adorable brother that he has always been
D is for the desires he crushes in this world, for the sake of his Deen

When I felt down, your innocence brought a smile on my face. Your brilliant sense of humor never failed to make me laugh until my sides ached. Your THAT sent me cowering in my room!:p Your patience has not been rendered useless; you will inshalla gain a tremendous reward in the Hereafter. None of us were able to give you what you truly deserved, but do not worry. Your 5aali8 will give you more than you could ever dream of inshalla. This world has wronged you in countless ways, but inshalla that will only add to your Eternal Reward.
Your the best eldest brother anyone could ever have, and I consider myself blessed to have you in my life! I have previously said a lot of nonsense in anger, but no matter what I say bro, remember that I will always love ya!

2nd Brother---> Ibrahim
I think its sufficient to say that, up until today, I don't think I have EVER come across such a man. He is of the kind who will listen patiently to everyone's problems; from a hormonal teenager to an adult facing mid-life crisis. He's loved by many, and hated by some. Those that hate him are narrow, shallow-minded creatures, who think they know all there is to know about life. Those that hate him are also those that are jealous of him, and are rightly so. After all, he mesmerizes people no matter where he goes. He leaves those ignorant, pitiful souls awe-struck when they try to argue with him, and his looks...I think those just scare them s**tless!:p If looks could kill, then he'd be behind the bars labeled as a serial killer!

I is for how irresistible his personality makes him
B is for the boldness he displays quite often
R is for the ruthlessness that empowers him when a beloved is hurt
A is for the admiration to which his hidden, soft nature gives birth
H is for the hope & happiness he's brought to people's lives
is for intelligence - the fuel on which he thrives
M is for the man that he truly is
And to him I'll be grateful for as long as I live!

You were always there for me when I needed you the most; when I couldn't open myself out to anyone else, you were the only one who'd patiently listen, while I drenched you in my tears. When things got rough, you were always the one to give me solace and comfort. When things seemed impossible, you were always the one to utter soothing words of reassurance. Even if what I told you, angered you and caused your blood to boil, on the surface you always maintained a cool approach. Tell me now, is there any way I could possibly pay you back for all of this? NEVER...

This post is just to say something I have not said until today to my brothers: I love you both unbelievably, and just the thought of not having you in my life is enough to bring tears to my eyes.