Friday, June 22, 2012

Update Overdue?

Salam 3lykm,

It's been ages, eh? I've not been up to much, really..just incredible madness. Everything is just a blur, to be quite honest. I've stayed away from writing, because I've been swept over by tsunami-like waves of emotions over the past few weeks..all my writing would have been depressing. And I do enough complaining and whining in real life, to put it out on my blog, too ._."

I miss tweeting. It was the only place where I could confidently say, "I made it on my own." Otherwise, in real life..I'm where I am because I'm the daughter of so and so, or the sister of so and so, or now..the daughter-in-law/wife of so and so. But on Twitter, it was just me: um3awas. I wasn't living in anyone's shadow, like I do in reality.

I won't deny it; certain tweets did depress me, and I couldn't tolerate the sarcasm and mockery being thrown about. So, I'm oversensitive; sue me. But overall, I loved being able to regurgitate life within 140 characters. I loved the rare, positive snippets that brightened up my timeline..but it's the absolutely unexpected, tearful smiles that I was blessed with..which made Twitter priceless.

Most of all, I miss my 'Lovebugs'. Although most the names have disappeared from my goldfish memory, I remember various discussions I had via tweets or direct messages. I remember a lot of the shout-outs and 'FFs'. I remember the inspirational quotes which still help me make it through life's crazy downs. Ahh, I miss seeing UberSocial's notifications on my screen.:')

It's a ginormous sacrifice..and life's circumstances don't make it any easier, unfortunately. Resisting the temptation of signing up again is getting increasingly difficult, really..sometimes I think I might have to shut down my gmail account, to prevent signing up. But then, I'd lose my blogging privileges. Not to mention, my Youtube account.

Bleh. Pray for me y'all..I need your prayers more than ever now. Life uncertainties can be really draining, unfortunately. I know life was never meant to be a bed of roses; I know it's merely a ginormous test that we'll all either pass or fail..but I'm losing all motivation to go on...totally exhausted. I'm not suicidal or anything, mind you. I've not even lost hope..I'm just..err..what's the word I'm looking for..?


And for all those who can't help but wonder..yes, wedding preparations are in full-swing, but no..the date's not yet decided. And no, I haven't the slightest idea when I'ma pull out of 'bridal' mode, and finally settle into 'live-in wifey'.

Keep smilin'.