Salam 3alykm
I haven't exactly been in the best of moods for the past few weeks...life has it's ups...and whatever goes up, must come down...Al7amdulillah 3ela kil 7aal.
I'm past the stage of breakdowns al7amdulillah, insomnia still sticking around...I've become heartless...or should I say, numb? Right now, I don't care about anything...I know Allah is the Best Planner, and He already has everything planned...so I'm ready for anything that comes my way...
What irritates me is that, while I can help so many people beat depression, I can't be my own Shrink. I don't have anyone in my life that would do that for me, either. Yet again, Al7amdulillah; it gives me the chance to turn back to Allah, I guess. I realize that happiness also brings unintentional sinning...so maybe sadness is an expiation in disguise? =) *wishful thinking*
I started off writing a poem, depressive as usual. Then I decided to turn it into 'therapy', but this time...I would write POSITIVELY...so I could look back at this post whenever I'm facing another' down'. Most of my posts are depressive, as I believe in throwing my feelings out, and never going through them again *another form of therapy I've stuck by*
It's not great in terms of poetry, rhyming, and all that stuff...but today...that was not my priority as I wrote it. It's a simple yet heart-warming piece, which has made me realize...depression is not so bad after all..=)
When happiness walks out of your life
What are you supposed to do?
To bring it back, do you struggle & strive
Or just wait until it comes back to you?
When paranoia threatens to empower
& Insomnia has you unbelievably drained
Do you forget the blessings with which you've been showered
& all the love in life that you've been fortunate enough to gain?
If you had everything in this world
Do you realize you might have forgotten Allah?
Realize that depression may be something DEAR to hold
Considering it sometimes brings you closer to the only Ilaah
Patience is what you really need
Dnya is only filth plated with gold
To the Words of Allah you MUST pay heed
To attain ETERNAL BLISS in the heavenly abode
I ask all those who come across my blog to please remember me in your prayers, as I'm going through a 'storm' right now. I'm trying to be as patient as I can, but sometimes...Shay6an just gets to me.
Jazakm Allah 5ayr, dear readers...w Barak Allah Feekm
Wes Salam 3alykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh
2 comments:
Al Salam alykom Um 3eesa
Well it really feels like a contradiction that a person like you complain about depression and running out of steam yet here you are very vibrant and "doing something".
I really admire you sister. I wish more women were like you.
Feeling the same way lately...not that much though lol. i get depressed when I watch the news or look at people around me....everyone is so materialistic now :(
يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك
Yet I come across people like you that confirm my hope. (dont ask about my hope lol)
Depression isnt easy...but your a woman....most women have it...its a chemical reaction so dont feel bad about it. :D
Barak Allah feeki
Al Salam alykom
Salam 3alykm bro,
Awelen, feels great to receive a comment from you =D
There's more to what meets the eyes, bro. I don't know what's the 'something' that I'm doing..I don't feel like I've done anything worth mentioning in life so far!
However, you have been busy Mashalla!(Y)Rabbi ythabbetk - Ameen. Likewise bro, I wish there were more brothers out there like you. It's depressing to see the state the Muslim youth is in..which is one reason why I really hate going out. *however, don't wish for the unknown..I'm a disastrous girl..lol! Trust me - you don't need anymore dangerously unstable females out there!*
Al7amdulilah, we've been TV-less since the beginning of 2003, so I can't watch the news..and frankly, there's no need to. Yes, I scan the newspaper everyday, but there's really no use of that either. Like I always say: Media's in the Kuffaar's hands; they only show you what they WANT you to see. And what they want you to see = Aktheb el 7deeth. LIES, LIES, and more LIES to brainwash people who are oblivious to reality, and to cause rifts between Ummat M7ammad صلى الله عليه و سلم.
Yep, it's all about the $$$ now. They'll do anything to watch the numbers in their bank accounts rise...7araam, 7alaal, makrooh..who cares?
It's distressing - nowadays, you start talking to people about Deen, and they ask you to change the subject...=(
You shouldn't have told me not to ask about it; it justs builds up my curiosity even more :p What about your hope, bro? *lol*
Truth is, after I came across your page..and the whole YTEmirates, I was thinking...where the hell was I when all this was happening?! Sb7anallah, I was just on this natural 'high' to see someone 5leeji, and of your age...CONCERNED about Deen, and Da3wa. I'm sure there are many out there I don't know of, but it feels 'rejuvenating' to know the Muslim youth still consists of those who are 'extremists/islamists'!
Depression is a ni3ma in disguise ^_^*but yeah, it has driven me to my apparent insanity!*
Jzak Allah 5ayr for the comment,
Wes Salam 3alykm w Ra7matullahi t3ala w Barakateh
Post a Comment