Down

(July 2006)

sittin' here, feelin' lonely n in despair
i cant understand tha endless flow of these tears
feelin' lyk ma whole world suddenly became dark
i think i'm slowly fallin' apart
i see tha world n its spinnin around lyk a top
i hear their voices, see their xpressions while i slowly drop
down this detrimental spiral, makin' me unstable n leavin' me confused
sometymz i feel loved, but most of tha tymz i feel used
people toy around n then xpect me 2 take it lightly
inflict me wit pain n then silence me harshly
i watch as they scornfully eye me
i kno that, behind ma back, im bein made fun of constantly
some say im paranoid n need help desperately
othaz say im cravin' attention n sympathy
at tymz i hate ma self 4 not bein strong
i feel lyk most of tha tym im tha one who's wrong
this insecurity is slowly devourin' me
bit by bit im comin closer 2 insanity
i kno not tha reason behind all these thoughts
i'v been tryin 2 bottle up, n live contently wit wat iv got
i kno im bein ungrateful...4 all that i hav
is more than some hav, n 4 that i should b glad
may Allaah 4giv all ma sins b4 im laid down six feet under
or else...2 eternal torment will i hav 2 surrender