...And it's funny how I'm back again; blogging. Sitting in uni, feeling incredibly sick. My throat hurts so much that my eyes keep welling up with tears...SISSSIIIEE i know! >.<
------------------------------------------------------
I hurt my wrist right now, have this reeally bad habit of cracking my wrists. I'm happy it's the left one; won't need it much. Waiting for 7pm to come so the dreary Stats II class can start, and end at a painful 830. Last class I kept dozing off in between; I couldn't help it! I'm so KO'd at the end of the day...I need a major break!
------------------------------------------------------
For some strange reason, I cried myself to sleep last night..I'm one miserable chick! It doesn't feel right, really. How can something so flawless be a curse? It just doesn't make sense! I neeeed a distraction from life badly. I'm trying to get on with life as sanely as possible, but there's very little one can do when their mind's preoccupied and under stress all the time!
------------------------------------------------------
I can't believe some things people do to others in life; don't they know what goes around comes around? Anyway, looks like Dad's trying his best to get Grannie here; all she can talk about is my marriage! Sometimes I feel like a bride, as stupid as that sounds! Spoke to her today and she's like, " Why don't you look for someone? " I just laughed it off, but Mami got horrified..LOL. She thinks I'm like the rest of them; putting off marriage as much as I can. But no, I'm waaayyy different; would gladly 'leave the nest' tonight if possible! Marriage, marriage, marriage...that's all people can talk about these days! The hottest topic that people come up with when I'm around, "When you getting married, hon?" GODD!!! Does it look like I bloody know?! Seriously, I feel like a machine at times; wake up, study 3elm & then head off to uni. Study some more there, then head back home. Day in and day out...that's my routine. So anyway, Grannie's like " Your Grandad passed away, and he didn't see any of his grandchildren married." That kinda hurt...but it's not in our hands! I know he always wanted to be there to see our weddings. I remember when I was 17, he used to sit on the dinner table and plan away my marriage with my eldest bro! [Allah yj3el gabreh ro'9a min ryaa'9 eljannah...Ameen]
------------------------------------------------------
2nd year on with these dreadful glasses; they're really getting on my nerves now! So, yesterday I brought up the subject of lenses again...but only ended up frustrated & nearly in tears...cuz my Dad wouldn't take me seriously! Sub7anallaah, today he calls from work & goes like, " Set up an appointment with the eye specialist in elM'3reby. We'll see him regarding your contacts!" I was dumbfounded for a minute or two, then ran around frantically trying to get an appropriate day! =D Anyway, I hope all goes well Inshalla; will be seeing the Doc next Sunday..!
------------------------------------------------------
It's funny how I'm always on the verge of tears! I disgust myself; so bloody emotional! >.<>barely shed a tear, and now...the waterworks turn on by themselves! Whenever I feel frustrated & helpless, I hide away from the rest of the world...and sob my heart out..
How friggin' LAME.
------------------------------------------------------
A lot of weirdness going on these days...guys calling me up, or adding me on MSN! So far, I haven't found the need to go up to big bro to get rid of 'em...I scare them away with my m6aw3a-ness. -.- Bunch'a desperados looking for a quick hook-up. Allah yhdeehm w yhdeena jmee3n
------------------------------------------------------
My love just keeps growing for them by the dayyy; they HAAAAAAAAVE to be family someday! So amazingly mesmerizing!
------------------------------------------------------
My throat is really killing me; without any exaggeration, I feel like my insides are enflamed, est'3firullah! I should really do something about my miserable state; I'm putting myself through unecessary self-torture. Life can be so painful at times, it's unbelievable...
------------------------------------------------------
A'aight, I'm out now...heading to the masjid for some peace & tranquility. Thikrullaah is like a tranquilizer: instills peace in one's heart & erases all existing worries & hardships.
Al7amdulillaah 3la n3met el Islam <3
No comments:
Post a Comment