Posting Fever

Salam 3alykm

Title says it all; I have 'posting fever'...well that's how I interpret two blog posts in two days!

Why do I feel like I keep jinxing myself? Lol, i know that doesn't exist in Islam, bs shay '3reeeeb...anyway, moving on...I'm sick again, w I don't really pay much attention to that anymore. I always get sick every month for the month, & then I'm OK the following month..& the month AFTER THAT month, I'm down again. -.- Complete WEIRDNESS.

I'm kinda wonderin' right now...where's my life headed? Another disaster? Eternal bliss? Or just another phase of utter confusion? Why do I always get trapped in my own thoughts..why..why...WHYYY?

Missin' 'Mr Badabooom' miserably...he came for a couple of hours on Thursday, and then left back for Shj again. Ever since the night I had an outburst, I've not gone to him for my regular 'therapy sessions'. Sheesh..that night was BAD...just like the countless nights that passed me by...>.<

I'm wonderin' if I'm going to be 'scarred' by certain things that happened in the past? Will I always end up comparing 'then' & 'now'? My paranoia has eased a liiiil bit..bs...bein' the 'compulsive thinker' that I am..I DOUBT I'll ever be a NORMAL person again!:p Quote Mr Badaboom:'Insaaayyyne in the membraaayyyne'

Mmmm...'5aa9a' is HARD! They said it'll all be in Arabic, and it is...except that WE have to translate everything in URDU! >.< So freakin' HARD! I'm absolutely FINE with stopping at the 'Arabic stage'! Sb7anallaah, when I see the others struggling with e3raab, w translation..I fail to understand WHAT is so tough about the whole thing..why the others are struggling. Bes then, when it comes to my turn to translate, I really feel like punching someone in frustration! LOL, there I am, struggling miserably...i KNOW what's written in front of me, Al7amdulillaah, it's just the freakin' language...ARGH! So I start rambling off in English, or '3ammiya' Arabic, and a lil bit of Urdu here & there, & my Mom & teachers stare at me in despair..." URDU M*****, URDUUU! " OK, I KNOW Urdu, right? I just don't know how to construct proper sentences -.- You gimme word, I'll give you the meaning...bes YOU do the damn sentence construction! -.-

Writing, al7amdulillaah, is no problem at all...it all looks like Arabic..LOL. My teachers say, " Wow, at first glance, the examiner might give you the 10 additional marks..thinking you've answered the paper in Arabic! " (H) Yeah, but what if the examiner's a strict one? Then I'm screeeewed! I know for a fact: my sentence structure is absolutely terrifying! It's like..instead of saying: "And which favors/bounties of your Lord will you deny?" I end up saying: " And deny favors/bounties of Lord which? " YEEEEEEESHHH...bad bad BAAAAD!

OK, I'm depressed after writing about my sorry state with Urdu..lol. I can hold a decent conversation for an OK amount of time, so why the hell is translating giving me white hair?! *FIGURATIVE SPEECH! My hair's a funky brown with a slightly reddish tinge!*

And my English....AAAAH...don't lemme start on that..! It's going...hell, it's ALREADY GONE to the dogs! Language CRISIS! :'( At this rate, I think all 3 languages are goin' to be pretty messed up, lol. *Bangs her head on the table*

OK OK..I'm not mentioning my highs in life on this blog anymore...someone out there is givin' me the 'evil eye' -.- Solution: poke their eyes out? (A) :p

Wow, this is a pretty long post, eh? Ah well...there's a LOT more I wanted to write about,,bes I'll leave that for the next post! I should go bury myself in my books now...*WHYYYY DID I TAKE BUSINESS?!:'(*

Lol, enough venting for now...