Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A lil bit of this & that..

Salam 3alykm

First off, In response to 'my fan's' comment *you know who ya are buddy, although I DON'T!-.-lol*: Y'all just read & comment, but it's nice to know what other's think..know what I'm sayin'?^_^ I never thought people actually read the junk I wrote, cuz as you can see, there aren't many comments here on the blog! I don't even mind if I get some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism; however, you criticize me unnecessarily and I'll track you down..make your life a livin' hell -.- :p joke joke..*a bad one!*
so keep readin' readers, spies, & stalkers (if any:p) & drop me a line..you think entertainment comes free? -.- lol..and now, I proceed...

I got a whoooooooooooooooooooooooole lotta studying waiting for me! Not to mention, an MIS project to work on >.< *Here's where I start wishing I had SOME Photoshop skills; they'd help with the countless presentations we'll be doing!*

Anyway, I'm still sick...even forgotten what my normal voice sounds like. People who got sick after I did, are back to normal now Al7amdulillaah..and they wonder what kinda bug hit me, lol. I think I won't live long...considering the crazy lifestyle I have. Bes the thought kiiillls; I wanna be Um3eeesaa! I don't mind dying AFTER that; Bu3eesa can always remarry & take care of 3awaso! Yesterday, reached home at 930, body completely broken...and the only thing I wanted was a pillow & a blanket...no more. I'd sleep on the TILES if I had to..I was THAT knocked out. And then I realized..uhoh...I have na7w *Arabic grammar* muraj3a waiting for me :'( I got a lecture the same day from my m3alima on how I'm not studying properly. It's kinda hard balancing uni & 3elm, bes I guess she's right. I do waste time checking emails, FBing, and...e7m...BLOGGING! Bes blogging helps calm me down - instant THERAPY! Anyway..I did OK in class today...I think...lol.

So, U9ool el fi8h...I havn't even STARTED the book yet. Zeeeeroo knowledge. I sit in class bs it flies above my head, since I didn't attend most classes during my uni finals. Caught up on Fi8h al7amdulillaah...tafseer & 7deeth going ok too al7amdulillaah. The e5telaafaaaat drive me craaazyyyy though! Imam Shafi3i Ra7imahullaah said this..w his proof is this...Imam Abu 7neefa Ra7imahullaah said this & he supported his statement with this proof..etc etc. It DOESN'T help that I gotta remember the explanation in URDU....AAAAAAAARGH!

Hokay...Psychology is the only course I actually LIKE this semester. Learnt something REALLY interesting, and I've actually OBSERVED it in real life. Lefties are much more artistic & express themselves really well through art, whereas Righties *moi* are much better with writing & languages! *Excluding Urdu, of course!* -.- It also explains why I'm not so 'artsy-fartsy', lol :p
I really really really HATE Finance now. I thought it was pretty interesting having a Mafia boss as an instructor, bes after all those bloody interest rate equations...my mind says NO to Finance! *Sorts out the problem related to my minor though; rules Finance out! It's either HR, Marketing, or PR & MC* The guy really looks like the head boss; all he needs is a cigar, and a couple of rings on those fingers. He even has the ACCENT to qualify as one; pronounces Russia as 'Raashia'. Those hand movements..when he talks about 'ze valyoo of moany' & 'ze deefrent bunks(banks)' yeeeeesh...it's like money is his LIFE! The guy's terribly sarcastic too, bes I LOVE IT...I wish I had his sarcasm. And he cracks us up with his jokes; they're not that funny, but he says them with such a SERIOUS expression and then cocks his head to one side and goes 'eh?' SO MAFIA-ISH! 'Eef yoo cennot shat ap, zen i weel ev to call zee seceureety...shange yoor place at wence!' LOL...the only thing that keeps me in my chair from 530-830 every Tuesdays..is his mannerism & hilarious accent!
Business Law...works just like tranquilizer shots. I think it's something about his voice...it works like a CHARM...at putting me to sleep. It doesn't help that I clock 3-4 hours of sleep everyday, and then he lulls me to sleep -.- He did the same thing for Professional Ethics too, then gave me a friggin' B+ >.< *which is fantabulous, considering I had received a 2nd warning for attendance & never bought the book :p*

Uni...I regret taking Business - so friggin' BORING! I should've gone to Dubai & taken Psychology, or Sharjah..& gone into PR or something! A level Biology & Chemistry was INTERESTING at least! I still don't know how on earth this bachelor's degree will help me...frame it and give it to my husband so he can show it off to people who come to his office? POINTLESS! ARGH...I soo just want to concentrate solely on Deen =( I don't know WHAT I'm doing with my life..*sighs sadly*

5ayr Inshalla...everything happens for a reason...

I planned to spend more time with friends this semester, bes I'm only with them in Finance...and I don't fit in to their conversations anymore cuz I obviously know nothing of what's going on in their lives! Bes I've made a lot more friends..which isn't good..lol. I can never handle friendships! There's one thing though; Al7amdulillah, when I see that someone's influencing me negatively, ie: pulling me away from Deen, I back off completely. I'm not selling my Deen for some stupid 'friendship'.

I loooove stayin' hooome!<3 So much so, I don't go out with my parents when they go out nowadays! Besides, it depresses me...seeing guys without beards & girls without clothes. Muslims with Kuffaar as their role-models =( Do the guys hate the way Rasulullaah 3alayhi e9alato wes salam SO much, that they don't want to copy his 'style'? That's what they're implementing INDIRECTLY:'( That's why the Kuffaar have gotten this Muslim country to get the army looking like their sissies. BEARDLESS=MANELESS. MANELESS=lionESS! What would Rasulullaah 9alallaahu 3layhi w sallem say...if he saw the youth today?:'( There's no way of differentiating Muslims from the Kuffaar! A guy's wearing kandora...OK, he's 5leeji=Muslim. A guy's wearing jeans & tshirt...you look at his face: Clean shaved, retarded goatee, or 2-days stubble...hmm...what is he?:S

Ya Allaah...why don't the brothers grow their beards? Here are some of the reasons I was given by various brothers who I interacted with *On the INTERNET, mind you* for not growing their beards.

1. It's just Sunna. (Wajib, not 'just' Sunna! And what did Rasulullaah say about his Sunna?من رغب عن سنتي فليس مني

2. It makes me look old. (Really? Hmm..clean-shave makes you look gay; 2days stubble makes you look like you haven't had the time to shave so that you could look gay; and that ridiculous goatee looks like you've been playing around with a marker.)

3. They only had beards then cuz they didn't have razor blades or shaving foam. (They had knives & daggers, and you don't really NEED shaving foam to shave; water's just fine.)

4. They needed beards to protect them from the sand. (Hello? Heard of a cloth? Wrap it around the face & it'll do the same job.)

5. I'll grow it when I'm older. (Did you get some kinda guarantee that you'll live to a ripe ol' age? How do you know when you're going 6 feet under? Do you have any guarantee that it'll even GROW when YOU want it to?)

6. People will make fun of me. (Not if you keep it trimmed & looked after..they won't. If people like your style, & you show them you can still be the 'cool & hilarious' guy that you are without it, they might even adopt your style...free 7asanaat for you!)

7. Looks don't matter to Allah; the heart & our deeds do. Not growing a beard doesn't make me a Kafir or anything! (Refer to #1. If you're not considered from Ummat M7ammad, if you go against what Rasulullaah 3layhi e9alato wes salam has said خالفوا المشركين أوفروا اللحى و أحفوا الشوارب-رواه البخاريGo against what Mushrikeen do: grow your beards, & cut/shorten your mustaches.)

A lot more was said; I basically just chose the most common protests against being told to keep a beard of one 8b'9a (fist-length). It's hard, I know. It's kinda like *not completely* what us females have to do; leave our eyebrows. We could shape 'em & 'enhance' our appearances...bes then we're mel3onaat. See, it's HARDER for us actually. We have to face Allah's le3na for such a thing, and trust me...bushy eyebrows, and monobrows *NO I don't have 'em al7amdulillaah>.<* aren't very easy to tolerate. You feel like you just haaaave to remove the 'extra hair' so that you look 'better'. But once you set your heart to it, you can live with being called all sortsa names; my friends complain...I just tell em: naah, I don't want No Fear eyebrows (or arrowheads).

We should learn to say NO to what's wrong, and ADHERE to what's right. Both categories - guys who have unIslamic beards or none at all, & girls with arrowheads for eyebrows - try to shun the conversation completely or try to change the subject when it's brought up. Why? It's a really good thing actually - they KNOW what they're doing it's wrong, and subconsciously..they hate it. Al7amdulillaah; there are also those who do wrong & sleep peacefully at night with not a worry in the world. May Allah not make me one of 'em...and May Allah guide them to the Right Path, Ameen.

I'm not an angel; I do wrong even though I KNOW it's wrong..and it sometimes keeps me awake at night. Cuz...what if I die & I still haven't repented? I used to think, aaah 3aaaadyyy...I'll fix myself up later...bes....WHEN later? When it's too late & the Angel of Death is by my side? Fir3oun also said he embraces Islam, and right after that, he drowned. He's still going to Hell, though.

My prayers get delayed cuz of uni...and sometimes, cuz of my own laziness & carelessness. Then I heard a 7deeth..every time someone misses their 9alaah *doesn't pray at it's time* their name's written on a door of Hell. That freaked me out so bad...but after a couple a days, I was back to procrastinating. See, guys are luckier; they have to go pray in the Masjid. So WHEN they do, it's right on time. Us chicks...unless you're really punctual/religious, unless you're a true Mu2minah *which is something I'm not..* you're just going to say...'aaah oook...I gotta prayy...lemme just finish this and I'll go...' Yep, you end up FINISHING after an hour, or a FEW...and by that time...your 9alaah is GONE. Especially getting into the practice of praying again after a break of 5-7 days of not praying...HARD. VERY hard...unless..again...you're a TRUE mu2minah.

So I did one thing; I wrote a 7deeth regarding 9alaah as a note, and stored it in my fone. Now, every time I think...'later', I look at it. But I know sooner or later that's going to stop...I mean, going to the notes takes a while, even though I have 'em as a shortcut on my fone. Had I any designing skills, I would've made it into a beautiful animated image, and used it as a screen-saver...instead of that pointless one I use right now. That would remind me day & night...considering my fone's always with me, so I'd never be able to miss it. I should learn how to use Photoshop...but it seems like a major headache, lol.

I miss my Grandad - Allah yir7ama-...been thinking about him for the past few weeks...he used to shout at me, specially at m'3rib..'don't waste time! Leave everything and pray NOW!' I remember, his room door would open, and I'd hear his rubber-tipped stick clicking against the tiles, the scuffle of his home slippers..:'(
Aaah...I miss him! But he's gone to a MUCH better place Al7amdulillaah..

I remember those last weeks; the poor man was in so much pain. He looked nothing like the jolly man he once was; frail, skin & bones:'( I remember standing in his ward, watching those damn numbers go up and down, hearing the blasted beeping noises every time his oxygen level went down. I remember asking him, 'please keep the mask on, 'Daajan' *it's actually Dadajan, but I chew the word =) Dada:Paternal grandad; Jan: Beloved* It'll help you breathe properly..' And he'd grimace in pain..then say those words again...'my heart...my heart...sinking!' :'( It used to kill me to hear those words, & see the pain on his face! He'd shout them...at a time when he couldn't even return our Salam...he was SO weak. Whenever we'd ask, 'how you feeling?' He'd say 'al7amdulillah'. He couldn't say much...a man who did his OWN DISHES whenever he got the chance to, and FOUGHT with others if they didn't let him...was left incapable of putting his dentures in by himself (and later on, we just couldn't get them in..not even the nurses..) :'(

I remember the night before 3eed, my uncle had gone to his office & my Dad had gone to get my bro from the hospital...his vital signs were going down...pulse, oxygen levels...and he had a glazed look...so Mom was holding his hand as usual to comfort him...and I was by the other side...Mom told me...'it's possible he might slip away...his body feels cold...' Remembering those words brings tears to my eyes even now...he was reaching out frantically for something, looking here and there...then he cried out 'Imran!' & I couldn't take it anymore. He kept saying my Dad's name & looking around...so I told him 'he's gone to get Ibrahim' but because I was crying, my voice kept breaking...he didn't understand. My Mom told him, & he stopped...sort of like he gave up...defeated:'( Then Mom said 'Allah' & he repeated it...for about 20 minutes which seemed like a year to me...I kept saying 'Allaah' and hearing his pained cries of a clear 'Allaah'. I really thought we'd lose him that day...but it was written for him to pass away with no one around him, on Tuesday 23rd Nov, 2007..at 625pm Doha time...5 minutes before his wife came to see him as was her daily routine..

You're not supposed to ask 'Why?'...he's gone & we'll follow...but some days, I remember things he used to say or do..and I realize he's really gone. I still haven't accepted the fact fully; I don't mention him anymore. I sometimes still pretend he's just in Rumailah Hosp...recuperating..:'(

Anyway..this post got longer than it was supposed to..I jumped from one subject to another..doesn't make sense...but then again...my therapy...it's not supposed to make sense..

One last request for my readers...please pray for him...Jazakm Allah 5ayr..

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now this is really going to take time, I have to see when I get a 30 minutes break and until then when I get that break I will come to read this post. How long did it take you to write this post anyway? It seems like it took more than an hour lol.

Anonymous said...

mmmm....30 mins break...are you an ADU student by any chance? -.- lol

i'm a fast typist, & I THINK FASTER than I type..so yeah...go figure!:p

It took me 2 hours *I got shoved off the PC couple a times in between -.-*

Anonymous said...

Commenting on the first paragraph I read: you need to have some rest, depression and stress can either make you gain or loose weight alot. Give yourself a break, uni and 3elm are too much to be put together, uni is important for now because you can't afford to fail right? 3elm can be done when you have off from uni.
I am not an adu student ;).
and about help in your presentations try asking other to help you, i'm sure you can find help, you must have alot of friends, when I needed help I had true friends who helped me, photoshop can be learnt through youtube or if you have a friend who can help you with that.
And about Fiqh try not getting into the difference between the imams cus it's a big world and as a student thats not something you should start with, we dont need the four imams when you can find a direct source from the Quran and Hadith.

This is all I can say for now

Anonymous said...

lol, yeah..well...my weight is the least of my concerns to be very honest! I don't mind looking anorexic, bes gaining will be taken care of. Al7amdulillaah, I can easily lose the gained weight in a month *fast metabolism*

I think it's sorta like 'meant' for me to do em both at the same time. I've really seen the blessings of 3elm; I got a GPA of 3.42 when I was doing NOTHING except uni (1st sem) and an surprising 3.6 (2nd sem) when I was doing both 1st yr 3elm & uni! I left 3elm in between for a while til I got my uni finals outta the way..didn't do any tests either...but I saw that result in my 3rd sem's GPA: a miserable 2.8...bes...I had a really rough 3rd sem cuz I was away from uni for a whole month, plus my grandad -Allah yi7ama- passed away..

Even if I asked, 'Who are you?' there's no point, is there? -.- You won't tell me! OK, just gimme a hint: Do I know you?

La Al7amdulillah, we've been grouped up for MIS, so the presentations will all be group work. Inshalla we'll work it out in a way that I'll do the 'brainy' work, & we'll let some artistic group member handle the artsie work :p

The four imams ALREADY found the direct source; we just have to learn them =) Qur'aan & 7deeth are not something you can learn on your own; you need a learned person to guide you. They can be interpreted in many WRONG ways & that's very common nowadays lil2asaf eshadeed. That's why you have people claiming that it's OK to do Tayammum if you have EXPENSIVE make-up on; w'9oo2 isn't necessary as it is wastage of that 'expensive' make-up, in turn..leading to a wastage of money. (Yep, 'fatwa' given by a WOMAN in Pakistan who's leading people all around the world astray. In turn, a fatwa has been passed against her by the 'Ulamaa there)

We've not gone very deep in the e5telaafaat as yet; that's coming up ahead in 3rd year. This 4-yr course isn't sufficient; they just teach the basic 3elm that all women should know so that they can lead their families in the right direction. The complete 7-yr course is done by men, followed by 2 more years for Iftaa, and even THEN..no one 'graduates'.

Once a 6aalib el 3elm..ALWAYS a 6aalib el 3elm ^_^

Anonymous said...

Very good, I like your reply and I hope for the best, and no I won't tell you who I am, just a person who passes by every now & then as a 3aber sabeel. I have a question: If the four Imams got thier knowledge directly from the source (Koran & Hadith) the howcome they have difference of opinions? And how would you know that what your reading about them is true? Many people nowadays follow the Imams blindly and I think this blind following feature is only for the Prophet peace be upon him and not humans who can make mistakes. I do not intend to go deep in this subject cus I do not have 3elm like you but I just want my to understand ;)
i'll comment on the rest l8r.

Anonymous said...

Okay about your finance teacher lol sounds like it's fun. I hope you succeed in your studies and life, amen.
And I am very sorry to hear about your granddad, it was touching how you expressed it, May he rest in peace.

over and out

Sultan-Almarzoogi said...
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Anonymous said...

Mmm..you say you have no information, yet you tell me that I shouldn't be studying the 4 mathaahib in the BEGINNING, as they have a lot of depth. I do believe you HAVE the 3elm..& it feels like you're asking me such Q's to find out if I'm on the right track (sorta like 'testing' me), hence the comment 'Very good, I like your reply' ;)

I have a feeling you're a brother, because - for starters- a sister wouldn't really 'hide' her identity from another sister;a female's mentality doesn't work that way ;)

As for the reply to your Q of why the 4 A2imma have e5telaafaat:
The reason for that is because Allah loved EVERY act of His Messenger *3layhi e9alato wes Salam* SO MUCH, that he wanted them all to be practiced amongst his slaves. The 4 Imams all have Adilla to support their statements, either in the form of A7adeeth or Ayaat of the Qur'aan. For instance, they have different opinions on the validity of Tayammum, and ALL are correct, as each have supported their statements with a7adeeth or Ayat from the Qur'an. Another common example is the difference in 9alaah; raf3 yadein & where to place the hands during Qiyam. Again, they have their own supporting Adilla. This shows that EVERY action of Rasulullah 9alallahu 3layhi w Sallem was SO dear to Allah, that he wanted each & every one to be practiced, as Rasulullah once prayed with his hands by his side when he was ILL. But you'll see that the action is STILL being practiced by some 'til today!

You ask how I know if what I'm being taught is true. Well, the only answer that I can give you is a 7deeth: العلماء ورثة الأنبياء
I look at my teachers' teachers, and THEIR TEACHERS' teachers, until I reach the first link in the chain: El7beeb Mu7ammad 9alallahu 3layhi w Sallem.

It is a practice in Deeni Mdares to ensure the authenticity of 3elm: EVERY SINGLE teacher's linkage is traced back to see whether it joins with Rasulullah 3layhi e9alato wes Salam. If ONE link is outta place->faulty chain = unauthorized. If it doesn't link back with er Ra7matul lil3alameen, 3layhi e9alato wes Salam - you have a problem. Al7amdulillah, I know my teachers are QUALIFIED, as the chain is complete.

I know you'll question how I know, so I'll tell you before-hand. They studied in the toughest Madressa, and were ALL within the top 3 rankers, tbarak Allah. This denotes the height of their qualification. It may seem like nothing at all, but you won't understand unless you go through it. Of course, if you really are a brother, then you'd have to go for the 7-8yr course.=)

Deeni 3elm isn't just based upon what you KNOW, but also on what you DO.العلم بلا عمل وبال و العمل بلا علم ضلال
there are many who do the course, but practice very LITTLE or NOTHING of what they know. Of course, their 3elm will be of no use to them, and it might even be taken away because of their disrespect towards it.

You mentioned we should just forget what the 4 Imams *Ra7imahumullaah* said. How on EARTH is that possible? That is only going to result in sheer madness & innovations *which are prevalent today* Like I said, we CAN'T interpret A7adeeth by OURSELVES, and need a learned person to guide us through. The 'chain' is what hold everything together; one link missing & 5laa9..the end.

As much as one would like to do EVERYTHING Rasulullaah 9alallahu 3layhi wa Sallem did,that would just create chaos. It's like wanting to bake strawberry cheesecake,but you have 4 recipes on hand. No smart person is going to take a lil bit of this & a lil bit of that from each recipe, right? Unless of course..they want to send all their family members to hospital with terrible food poisoning, & kill the family pet.

Fit the concept of 'choosing the 'easiest' aspect of Sunna -out of the 4- to follow by yourself, on my baking analogy(it probably surfaces from the guilt of being a 19yr old girl who DOESN'T bake OR cook!)

I have one recipe which says 3 eggs, and the other says 4. Since there's a shortage of eggs at home-because my brother eats like a madman- I say, "Cool! I'll just use 3 eggs!" Then I have the flour quantity; I'm not going to use the amount for the 4-eggs recipe am I,even if - lets say- my dad OWNS a flour mill?

The 4 A2imma had a LOT of respect for each other. They ALL followed the Sunnah, and that's the BOTTOM line. I have examples but I need to make sure of a few things, so I'll give you those later Inshalla. Just remind me..

PHEW..long comment! Anymore Q's you might wanna ask? This actually makes the concept of bloggin' a WHOLE LOT MORE FUN!=D

Anonymous said...

Anonymous:
May you succeed in both this life & the Hereafter; Ameen.
MY grandad...*sighs* he's in a better place al7amdulillaah..just remember him in your prayers..^_^

Sultan: You can handle the Q's if there are anymore; I don't usually get the time..juggling uni & 3elm during weekdays. Jazak Allah 5ayr ^_^

Anonymous said...

OMG I can sense some heat starting. I have no furthur Questions. Thank you Sultan for your answer but I will stop here.

Anonymous said...

There's no heat starting, lol! la..if you have any more Q's, please feel absolutelyy free to ask..! Hey, if you stop asking, I'll stop getting free Ajr =( *selfish I'm not -.-* Use my blog to enhance your knowledge, ya Anonymous ^_^

Anonymous said...

I will open my own blog in a day or two and my nickname is Black-Gravity

Anonymous said...

OK, that's great!
Just give me the link to your blog once you the inauguration's over :p

Sultan-Almarzoogi said...
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Sultan-Almarzoogi said...
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Sultan-Almarzoogi said...
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Anonymous said...

I am very disappointed with what I read.

Sultan learn how to respect others, and um3eesa please calm down. I'd rather split than to sit and wait for something like this to happen again in the future.

Anonymous fan
Ahmad Qutba

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, I'm sorry if you got offended. It's just that I had & still have no real proof about you being 'you'...as in Ahmad..

All of a sudden, I had a 'fan', and then Sultan came along; from past experience, I put 2 and 2 together, but got 22 instead of 4..

It won't happen again, & if it does, I'm thru with blogging. I have enough problems to deal with in my own life..REALITY..I don't need any in my 'net-life'.

What was meant to be an escape, turned out to be a nightmare.