Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Outcast

Salam 3alykm

...Aaand I'm back with a new poem. It was inspired by an incident that took place last week at uni. I've always been the odd one out for as long as I can remember - that's why I stuck 'hung out' in the library at school :P I ran outta books to read, because I had literally read everything there, and that was the 'geeky' part of my life.

Even when I became a 'rebel', I was STILL an odd-ball -.- Stood out like a sore thumb. Namely because I was surrounded by girls who only ever talked about cricket, or Bollywood >.< no one looks out for you like your own family <3 Love 'em to bits *no matter how annoyin' they can sometimes get..'specially the GUYS :P*

Enough said, the poem:

It's hard to live on when you know nobody cares
You can't forever be alone
When people pretend like you are not even there
And you pretend your heart's made of stone

You're made to feel like a failure
'Til you finally turn into an outcast
Hurtful judgements are made about your behavior
Mocking comments are passed

Standing on the sidelines, you watch as they fail
Then console them like you were never hurt
They come and give you the most minute details
Forgetting that you were once 'more worthless than dirt'

The fools talk about friendships that will last forever
Unaware of the bitterness you feel inside
It wouldn't take someone remarkably clever
To realize the stagnant water in the well has dried

This poem hardly makes any sense...but I like it...in a strange way. It expresses exactly how I feel when I now look at people who pretend to be my friends: disgusted.

A bitter post from a bitter me,

'Til next time..

Wes Salam 3alykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh

PS. I'm not a bad friend, just one that's always been back-stabbed at every opportunity, and betrayed. *Shrugs* Not that I care.

10 comments:

sadia said...

"no one looks out for you like your own family"...i second that! i've been feeling funny about my friends recently too. while i've not been back-stabbed, i've not had a real relationship with them either. it's mostly to do with my religious beliefs.

hope you find some real friends. good enough to make you feel like getting out of the library :)

Anonymous said...

Never put friends in front of family, especially..NEVER in front of parents. A friend who tells you your parents are too harsh on you, is an enemy; drop 'em.

Religious beliefs? I was an outcast 'cuz I was 'the weird girl who always talked about 7araam & 7alaal. I was the girl who didn't know what music, movies, & celebs were, 'til I reached grade 8.

Oh, that was in school - at uni, I've only been to the library twice. The shelves are empty, and covered with dust.

Anonymous said...

Aww i feel your poem..I also face lots of problem with people here.I have been use by people.I was depress and sometime i would just walk alone and eat alone,wallah i do that.Anyway,we can be friend,lolz since both of us have weird friends.My problem is i care too much,i shouldn't care about the people who dont deserve me.

Thanks for drop by at the other side.Thanks for all the wishes!Your so kind,you deserve the best =)

Anonymous said...

Assalaam-u-Alaikum,
ur poem's real nice.. i knew the feeling of being an outcast for a real long time.. for various reasons..religious ethics being the top of the list.. n my siblings always told me i'd make friends eventually who'd really be worthy of friendship.. n alhamdulilah now i did.. we r close but we know tht parents n family come first n tht their decison is whts best for us.. all v do is support each other in being firm over our believes n well give company :) ...thing is ..we no longer live in the same country! ..so here's a qs. for a recent situation i've found myself in.. there's this amazing girl.. not popular or nething.. but really gud with gr8 morals n a lot better than me actually.. i just dont find the guts to speak to her n we rarely say salam even... i just feel i might drive her away with ne wrong words :S.. wht do u think is the best policy then? ...keeping 100 ft of distance at all times, right?!

Anonymous said...

zara: i used to be like that - care about people who didn't give a flyin' fish about me. now, i don't care. i treat everyone like they treat me, unless they hate me..then, i really 'love' 'em to death to annoy the HELL outta them ;)

anytime chickita - i'm not kind or good; you only think i am 'cuz that's how you are ^_^

one blog reader: w3lykm as salam w ra7matullahi t3ala w barakateh! you've been missed!:D ermm, i'm guessin' my advice helped, which is why you came back for more? I was beginning to think my advice flopped, which is why you suddenly disappeared!lol, NO WAY! good friends are rare to find, 'specially those with good morals! I can understand why she's not popular, but she doesn't have to be! drivin' the girl away with wrong choice of words? no no no, start with salam 3lykm, and then small talk. who knows? you might find a LOT in common with her! try it, and lemme know what happens!:D

Bu Thyab said...

its a great 4-stanza poem about a person's unfortunate events. What I like about it is its simplicity. As you may have noticed about my poems they are a bit condensed, even though some poems are great in that form, others need to be simple. I think the simplicity of the words made the poem more coherent and understanding; however, few times i felt that the rhyming was not natural. So, to improve use complex words to make the situation or the emotions more complex, and vice versa. Also, try writing the same length of lines (i donno why, but i feel it'll be a better approach).

MIB said...

lol, it's a poem based on my life - that person is me =)

yeah, I agree with you on the unnatural rhyming, and I understand what you mean by sticking to 'line length'...but I guess I was just feeling REALLY bitter at that point!

Complex words means making it harder for myself to make everything rhyme!xD These are raw feelings written down, and al7mdella somehow they seem to rhyme in a way as well!

Nevertheless, will try out your suggestions on the next poem, Inshalla!:D

Bu Thyab said...

no no no, u misunderstood. first, i know it was about you, who is a person. second, wat i meant with complex words, y3ney, u know how i use intense descriptive words, that most of the people need a dictionary to understand, that sort of thing; nothing relating to rhyming.

One more thing, i should've eluded towards producing a 'patterned' lines instead of saying 'same length'. cuz, i once analysed a poem that started with 3 lines, then went towards 5, then 7, and then back to 3, then 2, and it was about rain and its blessing; hence, my analysis was the sound of the rain building up, and then gradually declining. another had growing lines indicating emotional rise, such as:

aa
aaa
aaaaa
aaaaaa.

aaa
aaaaa
aaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaa.

etc.. lol, and i do understand that u wrote wat u felt. Now, i want u to write something u felt in the past or u want to feel in the future, with the changes i advised =)

MIB said...

yes yes yes, i know what complex words are!:P I don't use them for a number of reasons:
1. I don't want people runnin' off in all directions, lookin' for a dictionary to understand what i've written
2. Sometimes, people tend to get put off with 'pompous, superfluous' language
It's always better to use terms that everyone can understand, unless you're writin' a technical poem :P

As for rhyming, what I meant was the harder the words are, the harder it is for me to rhyme! I know poems can not rhyme *Am I makin' sense here? xD* but I prefer poetry which does ^_^

Niiice..I think I have used that somewhere..it's probably somewhere in the 'depression' archives. I can vaguely remember writing somethin' that had not growin, but SHORTENIN' lines..indicatin' surrender..=)

Inshalla will use these tips in the next poem!

Bu Thyab said...

understood u 100%, waiting for the next poem!!