Yes, a new POEM!:D Long time, eh?! I didn't know I STILL had it in me, but since I've not written in ages, comments would be GREATLY appreciated!
Rays of hope spill over darkness
Yet a particular uncertainty still looms
She who was once left heartless
Then looked at love as a path to doom
The once magical words now became an eternal curse
She saw not the crimson roses, but the prickly thorns
She welcomed death as she hadn’t felt any pain as worse
As that because of which her own birth she’d mourn
She had stepped up a little closer to the flames to keep warm
Instead, they leapt up and engulfed her whole
Little did she know it would cause irreversible damage and harm
To her seemingly stable mind and immortal soul
Her screams were drowned by the roaring flames
A putrid smell of charred flesh filled the air
There was no one else other than herself to blame
As she had voluntary taken the steps towards the hellish lair..
She shudders at the morbidity of her own thoughts
And stares at the blossoming roses outside
While she musters up all the courage she’s got
To whisper a reality she had for long denied:
‘I Love You.’
19 comments:
me likes!
hehehe... (evilsmirk)
me loves it !! ;D
(heart)
am glad to read such a lovely optimistic post on this awesome blog!
I like! deep and touchy .. keep it up girl!
hmm great one, sO0oo touching! :S :)
"She who was once left heartless
Then looked at love as a path to doom"
Loved it..
nice words you have there..
Keep it up yo :))
I like ur expressions..
I kinda understand how u feel..
Especially if it's only a one-sided love..
Because the other party does not know ur love... u start having thoughts like im gna stop loving him, he does not deserve it anyways, since he did not notice my feelings..
But then the feeling of love is so strong, that u are unable to stay in denial anymore... and u finally realize that the truth always remains... And the truth is that ur heart does not lie...
very well expressed dear.. Good Luck <3
yay, a poem for me to analyse!!
tabarak Allah, pretty good; there were parts were I got a bit lost, but maybe that's cuz am currently sick, otherwise, i like it a lot!!
i liked the way u introduced roses, very true in description and meaning and it connected to the flow of ur poem. good job!!
n3aim, CJ, 3mair, XD, Shawty: thaaanxxx yall!:D
myhearthasblurted: la sweeets..fhemty '3ala6..it's abt a both-sided love..after a one-sided love goes..REAL bad..which is why she's scared of sayin' the words again..^_^
bu thyab: yalla..lemme see a proper analysis..w let's see if you can get it right! i was goin to add the analysis there too, bes gelt no one really bothers with that - only IUAQ did & those days are just memories now!
The poem begins w/ a bit of history about this girl "once left heartless", which connects to the current time by this 'uncertainty' being the offspring of 'darkness'.
Afterward, we are introduced to the notion of cautiousness; i.e. the rose is not always 'lovey-dovey' but rather has thorns in its stem. Hence, to grab onto a rose, first a person should be careful about those thorns. I understood that the character is actually 'needing' to be loved/married/etc.
The third stanza states that she began another relationship which was both-sided, since she went 'little closer', but he 'engulfed her'. The irreversible damage denotes the altering in specific hormones, which is necessary for the next step in a relationship discussed in the next stanza. Here, the character is experiencing the 'giving birth' part of a relationship, which is, in normal cases, a voluntary action as was specified in the stanza's last line.
Then the ending comes as the 'I Love You'. Very touching indeed!!
I hope my understanding was correct.
laaaa...'3ala6...bes i liked it walla!;P
enzain..it's abt a girl who's suffered a relationship..really..REALLY badly..& she's so scarred, she can't trust anyone anymore - thus, the uncertainty.
she looked as love as a path to doom - it destroyed her completely. that is reinforced by the 3rd and 4th stanza - the whole description of the relationship..as being 'hellish'.
the 'once magical words' being the very ones this poem ends with 'i love you'..become an 'eternal curse' cuz thats what took her down this certain 'path of doom'. the heartache was so unbelievably immense that she mourned her own birth, ie: wished she was never born.
flames in the 4th stanza, 1st line..symbolize the guy - the way he destroyed her. she was stable, determined, and the kind of girl who couldn't be fazed by anythin..let alone a guy..thus the exaggeration 'immortal' soul.
now, its like shes thinking of how hellish it was..thus the description of flames, burnin' flesh..all symbolizes the relationship..and shes thinkin of all this while she's FINALLY moved on..
blossomin roses..i dont know if anyone noticed, but there's a very sharp contrast to how she thought before..'roses have prickly thorns'..and now..'blossomin roses' the 2nd one is of the words she once thought of as 'an eternal curse'..she never said them again as a fear set in her, but she knew it was true..y3ni she has been in denial all along..she knows she loves the guy, but shes scared of sayin the words because they're like a curse to her..
yet, she 'musters up all the courage she has in her' and 'whispers' them..this shows how HARD it is for her to say them again..her hesitance..her fear..ties in with the afore-mentioned uncertainty.
w bes! but i really liked your analysis..EXCEPT..HOW can you liken childbirth to HELL?! -.-
loool, i was somewhat unsure, cuz i couldn't connect everything, especially the 'blossoming roses' and 'shudders at the morbidity of her own thoughts', and that's due to my inexperience. btw, you did a GREAT job here, better than myself (ab9m bel 3ashr). It all makes sense now, and the use of words were more superior than mine. thnx for the explanation!!
who ya kiddin?! i read some of you recent poems...ebdaaaaa3! walla i couldn't ever write like that even if i tried to for the next 10 yrs!
glad you liked it - its been ages since i analyzed a poem, even if i only analyzed my own!:P thanx 3el fur9a ^_^
no worries!! u serious?? my poems are good?? i feel i'm still a beginner cuz wen i read it to my friends they say: "that's nice" or sometimes "I didn't understand it" so maybe I still need some working some alterations, but maybe cuz poetry is not an interest of many people!! i just don't know. the important thing is that I like what I write; and when I get an idea I write about it!! oh c'mon, u do write better than me!!
ya5iiii...if your friends were the likes of 5aleel el jibran or shay5 spear himself :p then i'd say...ok, maybe its cuz i'm an amateur myself..bes laaa!
'i didnt understand it' tells you that your vocab is pretty extensive, lena truth be told..i didnt understand some of the words you used either! xD 7mdella 3la ni3met www.dictionary.com :P
yalla..poetry contest..may the best poet win!;P
huh? poetry contest? where, when??
yep, go to google.com and type the following:
"define:_____"
extremely helpful!! v,v
on ze vurld vide veb!:P where else?!
hnee..we have our own..men syrba7 elmilyon contest..except..we dont deal with cash:P
yeah yeah..i dont like that - dictionary.com a7la :P thesaurus w kilshay in one place v.v
^ initially i thought u were talking german or some other language (<,<)
for definition, easy and straightforward >> google.com
for thesaurus, many options and fast >> microsoft word
for rhymes >> rhyme.poetry.com
unfortunately, yeah.. i cheat (v,v)
i don't wanna be called 'sha3r el mlyoon' ... alot of responsibility!! =p
la la..LOL..not german, bes zee gehman akksent!:P
ya5ii..laysh hel 3war eras?:P with dictionary.com everythin is in ONE place!:P
aahhhh..NOOO WOOONDERRR! la la, i dont cheat...cheaters can't get the famous title!:P bes still..you write better, HAH!xD
i guess i utilise watever resources i've got to produce a beautiful poem =D woohoo!!
k, med. ppl like to take short-cuts, e.g. the reason i don't go to "dictionary.com" is because instead of typing the website once i create a new tab and then typing the word i want to define i can type the following: CTRL+T > CTRL+E > type: "define:___" and that's it!!
lol, pretty fast, ay?
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