Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Fleeting Moment

Salam Allah 3lykm,

Blogging. I miss hammering the keys furiously when in a state of blind rage. I miss pouring my heart out, not giving a damn about the criticism that is harbored in hearts void of compassion; hearts ridden with malice so venomous, it devours them. To hell with it all; 'not to write' isn't an option; 'not to write' is suicide.

Appreciation bears no cost, yet it is withheld by the iron-fisted. Dreams are drowned by endless tears, and smiles are swallowed up by fear of the unknown. Fear of what atrocities are about to be committed; fear of becoming prey. Prey to the stone-hearted; prey to savages, prey to the whim-driven.

I'd like to run away right now, from everything and everyone; push every single loved one away, before they get hurt by my bitter words.  

It's that fleeting moment in life when I feel like the walls around me are caving in, crushing my ribs, making every other breath impossible. That moment when 'safety' loses all meaning, and you feel exposed to the snarling wolves of this world, waiting to rip you up into pieces. That moment when every loved one's reassurance sounds like hypocrisy laced with mockery - acid on open wounds. That fleeting moment when Eblees maliciously empowers both heart and mind , at the edge of victory -- when ذكر الله shoves The Eternally Damned away. 

 - أَلَا بِذِڪۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَٮِٕنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ -
Inner-peace is just a heartbeat away, amidst the turmoil of a bloody war; all harm is kept at bay by ذكر الله.

و السلام عليكم و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته


Anonymous said...

Assalamulaykum sister،

I pray all is well inshAllah.

Reading your last few posts worries me because the themes darken every post along the way.

Problems and issues are a test of life, we will go through em. I respect that yours is unique to you and also worrying.

But if issues are cropping up in your life or moreover in your marriage then I suggest that you be op n with your husband in a nice way about how you feel and how tthings are going but in a calm way without finger pointing.

Us men don't understand many times and if we are told we feel our egos pop so best is to be calm and explain otherwise we don't get it because jokes aside we don't live in a Hollywood setting where the man and girl knows exactly what the other is thinking about 100% of the time.

Please be open with him on stuff that may be bothering you eg romance, house work, helping around, more thank you, being appreciated and moreover being loved with affection. If this does not work then please get counselling and forget what the community thinks.

May Allah make your marriage successful and facilitate for you the best of this world and the next.


Abu Rayyan

MIB said...


Rabbi yjzeek elFrdous for your detailed comment, bro Abu Rayyan. I would tend to write when I was feeling down, hence the large number of depressive posts. As far as being in a troubled marriage is concerned, Alhamdulillah that isn't the case. I suppose the issue had more to do with pregnancy hormones, than anything else. Regardless, JazakAllah khayr for the concern!