Venting?

Salam 3lykm

So, I'll get straight to the point. My Iman level had been dippin' down to a shameful low again. Made me wonder, 'What the hell is going on, here?' I think I finally found the solution to my problem, y'all...read on to learn more.

So, after the day I watched 'The Road to Gunatanamo', I decided: should I watch any of the BS Hollywood churns out after this day, that would render me shameless. Look at how Shay6an leads people astray --> it all started off with cartoons, believe it or not. I thought, 'there's nothing wrong with watching a little bit of cartoons - they are stress relieving.' Shay6an knows slow & steady wins the race..very patient and throws in all he has got, something we really need to do! So, me being the car nut I am, get hooked to 'Top Gear'. I literally watched it day & night, until I ran outta the episodes..and when I did, I waited impatiently for season 12 to come out. Meanwhile, I got hooked onto 'documentaries'. You see where this is leading to? So, there I was, watching documentaries on anything and everything..from snipers, to Ski Dubai! Ran outta documentaries..started watching disney 'kiddie movies'. Can you see the pattern now? Eventually, I started streaming movies online.

Recently, going through crazy ups and downs, obviously self-inflicted pain..what else can a loser for life do? lol..anyway, I resorted to watch movies to numb the pain, and it actually worked. Although, now I realize it was actually just stripping me of my morales, 7ayaa2, etc. more or less. And of course, the inevitable fitna that comes with the fitna of movies is 'love'. Ay love, ay b6ee5? Even animals don't act as carnally as these people do in movies - 3fanAllah. But of course, it plays with your emotions, and then...I'm sure y'all know the rest. Plus it doesn't help that I put myself through endless mental torture, for some very strange and annoying reason. Al7amdulillah 3ela ni3met elIslam - makes you realize that Sharee3a Laws are actually for OUR OWN benefit. <-- Being the stubborn person I am, I had to learn this the hard way, fortunately or unfortunately. Not because Islam is an 'opressive' religion.

Al7mdulillah, today I decided I need to put a stop to this, or it will NEVER end. Praying Fajr late everyday, being zonked out in my 3elm classes, BS'ing more than half the day, not doing Tilawah regularly...aah, the list is endless unfortunately. Needless to say, I deleted more than 15GB worth of unwatched trash that was using up precious space on my laptop, and I have to say..it felt GOOD. My laptop has been 'cleansed' - the sins that would've built up from watching most of the stuff I had = GONE...و هذا من فضل ربي

Aiight, this is one long post, and my fingers are killing me. If you think it's because of typing so much, you're wrong. I can type pages and pages on my lovely laptop, and never get tired of it - in fact, the keys make me want to type more!:D It's my nailbiting - spun outta control since the past week or so. Really not good - every finger is injured, and results in everything around me gettin' bloody >.< Cannibalism -.-

My chain of thoughts has been disturbed, so I guess I'ma end the post here..*did I hear a sigh of relief?-.- :P*

Wes Salam 3lykm w Ra7matullahi T3ala w barakateh