Sh7alkm, Dearest Readers? Awalan: 3eedkm Mbarak; thaniyan: I'm disappointed with your laziness that knows no bounds; thalithan: this isn't a poem.:P Do I hear a sigh of relief or disappointment?
What do you think this post is about? Well, there's not much left to reveal about myself, is there? This blog holds some of my darkest secrets and thoughts, and is accessible by all. Have any of you wondered, why? Why would I put my life out there for people to scrutinize? Why would I allow them to rip me apart with their criticism. After all, I've written about heartbreaks, love, Islam, etc..it seems hypocritical, doesn't it? In a post, I might be talking about how premarital relationships are unlawful, then I go and write up something on 'rebound'. Paradoxical, much?;)
I do it because I know there are people out there who go through the exact same phases in life, yet don't know who to talk to about it. They're afraid of criticism. They don't want to be judged. What is it that 2pac used to say? Only God can judge me. Yeah, I'm sorry dude..it ain't that way in reality, is it? Every other person is out to judge and attack the next. 'Survival of the Fittest', in its worst form.
Here's a newsflash - and just like all news is - its 'bad news'. Criticism is never going to stop. Critics will carry on ripping people apart with their words, and will only stop when the dust of their graves fills their mouth. Then, they will receive their fair share of criticism, because as reality has it..nothing is spared. Nope, not even the dead.
How do we deal with it? Do we live in denial and say..'I don't hear a thing', and look the opposite way? Or do we vehemently fight its provocative existence to our graves? Do we suffer and gray over the fact people are talking about us behind our backs? Or do we hide away in isolation from the rest? Whatever we choose to do, I promise you..it WILL be talked about.
Thus, we need to LIVE with it; DEAL with it; and prove the critics WRONG instead of fueling the fire they start. If you lash out, you're guilty, and if you deny it, you're ashamed..yet STILL guilty. Why not do neither, and show the world just how WRONG your critics are about you? Kill two birds with one stone: the depression/stress that comes with such criticism as well as the critics that cause it in the first place.
So, I don't care if people criticize me for who I am, because it's human nature. What matters is seeing someone smile through tears, knowing that I'm not going through this situation alone; people have been there too..and they've made it out safely.
What matters is touching the soul of ONE person out there; changing ONE person's life. That's it.
It's not about my identity, or security. If stalkers want to extract 'information', they're welcome to..provide I don't know about their stalking issues. Honestly, I have nothing to hide, because if I could hide stuff, then I would want to hide my shortcomings from ALLAH. Can I? No. Then why try to hide them from His Creation? Yes, I do know of the 7deeth that one shouldn't disclose his sins, & that Allah will keep them undisclosed on youm al Qiyamah, provided the person doesn't disclose them in his/her lifetime.
My intentions are not to boast about the mess ups I've gotten in, but to accept them as experiences I learned from, and try never to go down the same lanes again. They are also to help others that are either in similar situations, or gearing towards them. Thus, إنما الأعمال بالنيات would support my stance here. Further, I don't disclose the details that don't matter, and never will.
I've had countless girls come up to me saying, 'this is EXACTLY how I feel..but I don't have the guts to tell anyone.' What does that lead to? Psychologically, they're all going through a turmoil no one knows of, and probably never will. As a result, she will go through certain phases, which I've gone through. I can't see people make the same mistakes; it hurts way too much. No, I'm not trying to show you what a 'selfless considerate individual' I am, because we're rarely selfless.
I can tell you there's nothing selfless about this; initially, it was my therapy, and a lot of times..it still is. But I now also do it for the lovely feeling I get when I help someone sort their life out. Be the light that brightens up someone's life, and you will inevitably brighten up your own. I owe it to myself to brighten up whatever little remains of myself, and I couldn't do it without your help.
So, to all those who have benefited from these posts, this is a petty way of thanking you for unknowingly doing me the favor of brightening up my life, one for which only Allah can Reward you; Allah yjzeekm kl5ayr fd dnya wl A5irah.
Wes Salam 3lykm w R7matullahi T3ala w Barakateh
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